#21: It’s World Mental Health Day, But Why We Do Not Ask For Help?

Today is World Mental Health Day. The World Health Organization means for this day to increase awareness around mental health. Despite this, the inconvenient truth is that for many of us, we suffer from poor mental health, and we do not ask for help. When you add Neurodiversity to that, it gets harder.

Stressors

When one looks at the state of the world, there are many things to cause stress and anxiety. War in Ukraine, COVID-19, hurricanes, economies in decline, high inflation, high gas prices, and more. Add to that and closer to home, there are so many stressors many do not even talk about openly, much less at work. Accidents, deaths in the family, breakups, divorce, caring for elderly parents, poor health, and others. Add to that, Neurodiversity.

Neurodiversity was first coined by Judy Singer in the late 1998. It refers to variations in the human brain and covers a multitude of conditions such as Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Tourette’s, Dyscalculia, and more. These conditions often amplify stress and make it easier for mental health to fall like a rock. It is estimated that 15-20% of the world population have Neurodiverse conditions.

Work

When stressors affect our mental health, what do we do at work? More times than not, people often pretend that everything is okay and just work, ignoring the stressors. I myself have done this. Traditionally and historically people have been afraid to say that anything is wrong. They don’t want to look bad, they are afraid of negative performance reviews, and generally afraid of losing their jobs. This can also lead to burnout and depression. It shouldn’t be that way.

Add to that, in many nations, cultures, communities, and even families this is magnified. One wants to be seen as contributing and adding positively. Anything seen as the opposite, is often perceived to bring shame, humiliation, or disgrace. So, what do people often do? They often force themselves to ignore their problems, and just work. I myself often went to work suffering from extremely poor mental health or suffering from illness. That’s wrong.

Rejected and Alone

When one is Neurodivergent like I am, things get harder. It is easy to be rejected and alone. People with Neurodiverse conditions also often have other mental health conditions. One I found out about last year is RSD, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. It makes rejection and criticism mentally crippling and often leads to deep dark depression. This is particularly difficult for myself and others when friends say they want to help, but often don’t. The end result are thoughts about total rejection and feeling like we did something wrong to deserve being alone. For some, this will feel like a never-ending spiral downwards with no help. For me, RSD often feels like getting into a box and sealing it. Because why ask for help if people can’t or won’t? People would have to stop, and who wants to do that?

Hope

Despite all this, there is hope. I have had a few good bosses. I remember one boss telling my coworker who was sick to go home and take care of themselves. I have also worked at some employers that provided extensive employee support with mental health days, COVID-19 free PTO days, mental health classes, and more. This was unheard of at employers I was with many years ago. It goes to show that organizations are starting to see mental health as a real problem, and are stepping up. I have also seen posts on social media where people are okay with taking a day off to take care of their mental health.

Meanwhile, Neurodiversity has become a global movement. More organizations are available than ever before that can help Neurodivergent people to get help. Many Neurodivergent people, both famous and not, are openly and publicly declaring that they have Neurodivergent conditions. This helps to shine a light on Neurodiversity and sends a message to Neurodivergent people all around the world that they are not alone.

All this is helping to destigmatize mental health in general. Ideally a person should be free to tell their employer that they can’t work today because of their mental health and not feel bad about it. It is okay not being okay. We are not alone.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any other agency, organization, employer, or company.