2025 - the year when I [insert your do’s and don’ts]

If every new year you find yourself staring at a blank paper wondering why on earth you are the only one not to find “smart” goals a motivating exercise, that makes you one of us, goal reluctant people.

Goals = pressure to find something to fix and to achieve = adding more pressure on my already overwhelmed plate, even if it is something that could benefit me.??

Should we give up goals altogether? Only live in the moment and deal when we cross that bridge?? The answer as you know is a big N.O.? The longer answer is to dig into the roots of such reluctance to commit - lack of clarity? Fear of failure? Not enough time, money, energy, …?- and to find a way around those reasons until they become the second step rather than the starting point.

In other words: a better foundation.? And 8 mantras do’s and don’ts to get there.

1 - I will not allow anyone to put me down or take advantage

This year I am choosing self-respect over maintaining peace for the sake of not making waves.? I will learn to be assertive, and have my definition of what I will not tolerate anymore. As I hold myself to higher standards, at work and outside - staying professional and fair, coming from a place of authenticity and desire to help others and create win/wins - so will I ask from others too.?Fair and mutually beneficial exchanges are my word.

2 - I will not play small anymore

I decided - this year, no more everything is a “we”.? I will stop hiding - behind my boss and my team, and put more “I” in my achievements list.?I will take initiative, even when my brain is telling me that I am not as eloquent as xyz, or I am scared of saying something stupid. ? I will stop hiding behind the “I am an introvert” and engage in more networking, and speak up in meetings.?Side mantra: I will also realize that polished knowledgeable people say stupid things every once in a while and it doesn’t prevent them from doing ok.

3 - I will not be conflict-avoidant

I am seriously fed up of living in fear of “retaliation” if I speak up. The times of appeasing and shrinking to spare other people’s feelings should be left in the past.? It’s about time for my people-pleaser to ask for what I want - because I earned it, multiple times over.

From today on, I will not shy away from sitting with my boss, a colleague or a junior and have an honest conversation with them when something is not sitting well with me.? Better than dwelling on a situation or ruminating in resentment, I will do my best to understand where the other person is coming from and will address my thoughts from a place of emotional detachment. And the same will be applied to asking for a promotion, and my quarterly reviews - I will ask and argue with logic and leadership.?

4 - I will not give my boss more power than they have

Or anyone for that matter! I now see how sometimes I felt my boss was like a parent, punitive and rewarding as they see fit.? This year, I will stop being scared of my manager as a figure of supreme authority.? I want to position myself as their trusted advisor rather than expecting them to make decisions for me.??

And I will go easy on drinking any kind of cool aid that gets served to me “for your best interests”.? Discernment and agency - my prerogatives.

5 - I will have an honest view of myself?

Not too humble and not too boasting either. I shall acknowledge my strengths and work on certain of my weaknesses.? Gaps in knowledge? Self-sabotaging? Leadership skills??

This year I am committed to showing up for myself. Despite the busy and?the stressed, I will do my best to reach my next destination.

6 - I will embrace necessary discomfort as a means of growth

I want to continue growing, and with self-awareness, understanding the difference between integration of new situations and learnings and stagnation. Where can I stretch my brain, or do something unusual (and even helpful?) that can be expanding?

7 - I will practice good life hygiene

Meaning! 1/ having rituals, morning routines, daily intentions, …,? and sticking to them, 2/ being aware of what I put in my body and between my ears.? Example: no more being my office’s emotional support mascot, I can lend an ear to support and connect, but not on repeat - healthy boundaries are my new must.?

8- I will not allow fear to decide my destiny

Or at least, I will make sure that whatever I fear doesn’t control every aspect of my life and hinder my decision-making - today it is about considering long-term gains vs short-term losses.

This year, without beating myself up, I will hold myself accountable when I don’t honor my commitment to myself.? I will understand that I am doing all of this for myself.? Not to get validation or be praised (although it can be a nice cherry on the cake), but because this is how I will make myself expand and grow.

? 2025 Mayda Poc Coaching. All Rights Reserved. This article is provided for informational purposes only