2023 Week 6 - How to take your meetings from ‘decent' to 'impactful and memorable'

1.????“I’m sorry but I don’t really feel like going out tonight. I’d rather just stay at home and watch a movie,” said my wife on Friday as I drove her to a nearby Italian restaurant. My morale dipped as I thought, “Should I have bothered?”

When we got back, Erica greeted our kids by saying: “Your dad and I had a good time!” The food was good, but the impactful part was I asked her all questions I shared two weeks ago in my article?12 Questions That Could Change Your Life?Forever.?They included:

“If you had all the time and all the money in the world, what would you do?” and

“What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”

Instead of just talking about our twins, work, and the everyday, the questions got her to think in the clouds quite possibly for the first time in a long time (although I cannot truly know this).

What pushed me to ask her all the questions was a point Matthew Kelly makes in his book?The Dream Manager:?“Isn’t one of the primary responsibilities of all relationships to help each other fulfill our dreams?”?And I was embarrassed to realize I hadn’t asked my wife about what she most deeply wanted in ages - or anyone else for that matter.

It was a humbling experience and made me feel all kinds of emotions. I was inspired by what she wants and sad that some of it feels so far off. I felt frustrated that there’s only so much I can do and taken aback at how little she has ever talked about some of the things she mentioned. Regardless of my experience,?I’d urge you to ask your loved ones those questions.?

One tip that helped: I sent this text two days earlier to give my wife a heads-up that I had something different in mind: “I booked us a meal out for Friday so we can have some time together. Also, I really want to ask you some deeper questions if you’d humor me even if they seem far flung.”

Thanks to some better questions, I now feel like I have a road map for what my wife really wants. That’s priceless!

2.????How do you feel when you’re in a meeting, ask a question, and get the response: “Great question!”??

Better questions truly separate you from everybody else.

Eight years ago, Steve Lewis, a financial advisor from Houston who’s the only person to endorse both of my books, recommended a book called?Power Questions?by Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas.?I bought it right away, took it with me to read on a speaking trip to Greece and the UK but gave it to someone else instead. Only last week did I finally read it. I feel such a fool.

Last week I had a field day plucking out some of the fabulous questions in it and using them in meetings. It’s now my new business bible. The questions really get others thinking, help pursue decisive outcomes, dig to the heart of what makes people tick, and help clarify expectations.

?Of a client torn between which services to focus on this year, I asked him:?“Which align best with your mission and goals?”?(His reply was “Great question!” He even called and thanked me for the meeting two days later and gave me a referral. This is most unusual.)

I asked a prospect:?“What do your clients like most about working with you?”?and?“What are your most significant opportunities for growth over the next few years?”?I must have done something right because his next question was: “Can you send us a contract?” – to speak at their annual conference.

Read this book!! It even has sections called “Holding Effective First Meetings,” “Developing a Need,” and “Understanding Aspirations and Goals.”?

I even asked my mother:?“What in your life has given you the greatest fulfillment?”?– and aren’t I now glad I know this before she dies and it’s too late to ask her?

All this in a week from a $20 book!

My recommended actions for you are:

1. Get the book?Power Questions?and start picking out questions to use in meetings.
2. Build a list of ever better questions to use in business meetings (and dates with your partner!) and always be listening out for better ones.

To asking better questions!

Matt

Copyright Matt Anderson, 2023