2023, I mean it could have been a lot worse!

Well 2023, compared to 2020-2022, has been a good year while also a bad year personally for me. If you put aside the dire state of the Government, many conflicts around the world, the growing homelessness crisis and more, and simply focus on a year of celebration then there is a lot to be grateful for, there has also been plenty of my good old friends anxiety, depression and a growing list of health problems.?

But unlike usual, let's start with the negatives. My health took a turn for the worse in 2023. It has led to me having to make some more positive lifestyle changes to get me back on track - no don’t worry I’m not suddenly becoming a fully reformed character - just everything in moderation. I will assume turning 40 had nothing to do with it, but I was plagued from the day after my birthday for two weeks! Across the year I have burnt the candle down to the wick across the year and it has taken its toll on me physically but certainly mentally - I’ve lost my shit more times than I can care to count. Often aimed at the wrong people. I’ve been reduced to tears - privately and publicly - over everything from a broken fence, spilt drinks to simply no car parking spaces and many days I have thought (or said) why is life so fucking hard! I suspect life has always been hard but I just notice it more now. But we need to have positivity and hope. So here I go.?

Turning 40 in 2023 has brought a myriad of benefits, marking a phase of self-discovery and confidence. Embracing this milestone across 2023 has fostered a deeper sense of self-acceptance, freeing myself from societal expectations - and some may say just having a good old mid-life crisis. With experience comes wisdom (apparently), enabling better decision-making (though Kate may disagree) and a more profound understanding of one's priorities. This age often accompanies stability in personal and professional aspects - in hindsight I can’t complain about what I have achieved by my 40th, reducing the uncertainties of earlier decades. Health-conscious choices become integral - or rather a necessity, leading to a more proactive approach to well-being. Overall, reaching 40 brings a sense of empowerment and a richer perspective on life. And that sums up 2023 really well.

This has been about celebrating all things 40th! And that means my beautiful wife Kate. Not only leading the charge at work but alongside being an amazing mum and wife, Kate has also found time to work on her Masters. For anyone that thinks life in the NHS is easy think again - severely underpaid yet focused on caring for the patients who find themselves there. This year we have done a fair bit of “us” time, and something we really should continue to do - and are very grateful for grandparents and others helping us achieve that. There have been many memories from Michelin Star food in Oslo, the Lake District and York, to getting pampered in the hills of Millhouse Green. We’ve found a fair few new walks (to torture the children with) and spent time with family and friends. As always Kate has been my partner in food, the dark times and above all my rock in stormy waters. Can’t wait to spend 2024 with you.?

Count to ten and back again. Wilks is an enigma - I’m sure a teenager early. Doing really well at school, yet hating it. Smashing it at football in his new position, but not feeling he’s good enough and surrounded by friends, but rotating them like a carousel. For the avoidance of doubt you make me and your mum so proud and we wish you could see the amazing boy that we and others see. Seeing you smile on the football pitch and giving out a hug just for the hell of it brings joy to us both. Yes you’re loud as hell on the X-Box, you enjoy a good stomp around the house and need reminding about everything, yet you are caring, funny and we absolutely love you to bits! Nice to have someone to share a green tea or avocado with too.

Euan. My little man. You are a bundle of joy that shows such empathy for those around you, whether a friend at school or a player on the pitch. Whether a walk to school or our Saturday morning “us” time over a coffee and a Euan special! You bring a smile to everyone’s face. We have enjoyed some good times this year and they have clearly rubbed off on you as you started to learn Swahili. You certainly top the table for stropper of the house. Whether on Fortnite or evening doing your homework - wow you can make it a big deal! You are smashing it at school and so ready for the challenges Year 7 will bring this year, you’ve grown as a football player and moved onwards with your team - a decision that you spent time thinking about - and have grown friendships at Cubs (as you make the move to Scouts in January). You have a better social life than me! Keep being you Euan.?

How do you make a 10 and 12 year old appreciate how lucky they are? We are very fortunate. This year has been no different with weekend breaks, family trips and of course our African adventure. This was three years in the planning - reaching a milestone of 40 deserved to be celebrated and with the boys at a good age, 2023 was the perfect year to do the safari. We got to see the Big Five. We stayed in four amazing hotels and tents. We ate well. Laughed a lot. Got ill together too. 2024 will be a good year for holidays too as it is the people not the location but still 2023. Brilliant.?

This year has been a big one for football. A very successful FY22/23 season for Wilks and Euan leading to promotion for both (a double for Wilks). Cup final game for Euan. They just make it look easy and I’ve got to the point where I miss watching them on a sunday. Wilks has now cemented himself as a left winger - using his speed and skill to boss the left side, crossing in for many goals. Euan took the hard decision of moving teams in the Summer. A decision that he took weeks to work through. He has been welcomed with open arms into Cawthorne and settled well with goals a plenty. They both make football enjoyable to watch with great parents at the side lines.?

One thing I’ve done less of this year is grow my own. Knowing it was going to be a busy year I decided not to do too much with the garden and just let it tick over. Even so, it has surprised me with its colour and evolution with little effort. I was treated to a greenhouse at home which has now given me a space to potter in (without consuming the conservatory). 2024 will see me return to growing more but in a more limited way. Onions and garlic are already in and on the hunt for plants that require no/little watering. I have installed more water butts around the garden to help reduce water consumption so fingers crossed the garden adapts to the changes being made.?

WilkoCooks has continued in 2023, though I’ve not cooked as much as I wanted (what with 40ThingsAt40!) but 2024 will see that change. Being in the kitchen is a great way for me to unwind. Whether following a recipe or creating something fancy gives me a boost. My WilkoCooks (@lawilks1983) on TikTok is getting more traction - any tips are welcome. I have a new Indian cookbook to start in 2024 and am going to try some varied Yorkshire Pudding recipes. So here is to more cooking and baking in 2024.?

And lastly to our home in Penistone. A community we love so much, yet 15 years on we are still outsiders. Shout out to Cafe Creme, whether for a quick post school run coffee or the weekly therapy sessions with Euan, they make you feel welcome. So many other shops and market stalls that just make you feel welcome. Continuing with Round Table during the year, from serving beer jugs at the Oktoberfest event for Sheffield Children’s Hospital through to the annual Santa Sleigh runs - bringing community spirit all year around with a great bunch of people.?

So 2023 is signing off. A year of reaching the milestone of 40 for us both. A year of taking more focus on self-care including myself. Across the year I have lost 10% of my body weight. I’m still obese but that’s big for me and has come from focusing a little more on myself. I have taken the time to draw and do lego and read plenty of books. I have spent time with loved ones and given my time to community and charitable events close to my heart, and for this I received a nomination for a LandAid award. So all in all it’s been a good year. 2024 will allow more focus on what matters. Continuing my swimming and walking. Spending time with Kate (with and without the boys) and evaluating the balance of life and what is best from a work perspective. Happy New Year to you all from my family to yours.?

Cheers to 2023! And bring it on, 2024! The year of self-care and friendships