2022: Are we there yet?

If 2020 was hard, 2021 has been brutal – physically, mentally and spiritually. The pandemic highlighted even more how unequal a world we live in. Those living in poorer countries, or even the poor in high income countries, the young, the lonely, the homeless, the mentally vulnerable, the neurodiverse, those with disabilities, and so many more have been dealt devastating blows this year. For so many, coronavirus is yet another thing to add to what was already a long and grim list. It has been heartening to see so many people devote their time, effort and skills to serve their neighbours, communities and those most in need over the past couple of years.

Studies show that in times of crisis rather than putting everything on hold, in the hope of better times to come, or continuing to ask “is it nearly over now?”, it is far better to accept the adversities we find ourselves facing. The old maxim “This too shall pass” can be encouraging but can also be unhelpful if it doesn’t allow us to fully accept and live in the present. We cannot live with blind optimism. We also cannot live in fear and worry – it is paralysing. We have to choose hope and maintain our energy to fight, and we also have to find moments of kindness, intimacy, laughter and joy even in the depths of our suffering. “Learn to enjoy the battle of life” – the late Pandurang Shastri Athavale (Dadaji) used to say.

I believe suffering is an essential aspect of life. There is so much we gain, feel, experience, learn and develop through adversity, pain and suffering – if we can fully embrace it, accept it and be present in it, rather than waiting for it to be over. Our suffering can be the source of huge strength, resilience, creativity and hope. Clay Christensen wrote that we need to design adversity for ourselves and our children in his book "How to measure your life". For a generation of young people growing up in developed nations, the pandemic maybe their first experience of such struggle and adversity. As Brené Brown explains in her awesome new book ‘Atlas of the Heart’ – hope is born in adversity, it comes from getting through crises and building the confidence, strength and resilience to know you’ll get through them again. I closed my blog last January with the statement “Happiness cannot be the goal of human life. Happiness and suffering are relative and two sides of the same coin. We cannot pursue one without accepting the other as well… there is more we learn from suffering than we can ever learn from success.”. I feel I am learning so much through these difficult times; I know the same is true for many.

We need to rethink some of the messages we tell ourselves and our children. The single-minded pursuit of happiness is what we’ve been taught and had reinforced since the day we were born. We were also told that we can consume indefinitely without any concern for the state of the planet we are leaving for our children. We were told that we can pursue profits without any thought to the externalities, casualties and consequences. We rarely tell our children that the more we consume the less we leave for others, that the more we emit the more we destroy the very planet that sustains us, the more time we spend connected to our devices the more disconnected we are from ourselves and our relationships. These lies are amplified on social media creating false expectations that everyone else is happy, beautiful and having a great time all the time – making all of us more miserable. Like in Netflix blockbuster “Don’t look up” we have a remarkable ability to remain willfully blind and unmoved even in the face of impending disaster (to avoid pain). However, I have also experienced first-hand out innate ability as human beings for change, transformation and adaptation – that gives me hope.

Personally for me 2021 has been a time to let go: I’ve let go of daily ‘family-time’ (as my kids sat me down and told me it was “a bit needy” and an unreasonable expectation), let go of strict screen times (as we spent more and more time in the house, with less and less social interaction), let go of my need for control as my children become young adults (in favour of greater freedom, connection and trust), let go of the comfort of a job, a team and a purpose I have served for nearly a decade (in search of new challenges and opportunities) and let go of my need to fix everything, as I come face to face with the silent mental health crisis unfolding across our homes, offices and cities (and the state of our health system, structures and communities to deal with this).

Over the past two years many have all had to let go of people we love, relationships we value, our familiar offices, our habits, travel, weddings, conferences, sports, concerts, and more. It is incredible to think how much we have had to learn to let go of in such a short space of time; and yet there is so much we have gained. It does make me wonder whether there is even more we can do without, that we have not yet let go of? There are so many things in the developed world that we think we cannot live without, that once we fully consider the cost/impact/sacrifice, we may be surprised how well we can manage without. I know the more I have let go of, the more lighter, connected and open I feel.

12 months ago I set goals for myself to build bridges for those that are being left behind, work towards more equality in the workplace (after decades of talking about it there is not enough tangible progress being made), play our part in making the transition to net zero GHG emissions and lead systemic change across the hundreds of firms we work with and thousands we invest in on behalf of our clients. Overall I wanted to start to become a better ancestor – leaving my family, Redington, the industry and the world in a better place that it is in today. I am pleased with the many small steps and some big steps we have made over the year. It feels like we are at a tipping point, though there is a long way to go.

On New Year’s Eve, in my last few hours as CEO of Redington, it was announced that I was to be awarded an MBE in the Queen's New Years Honours list. It is awesome to have this important work we have all been doing at Redington, and across the industry recognised. I think we have a huge responsibility as leaders to play our part, to start by changing ourselves and our organisations and to work together to bring about systemic change. I am so grateful to all those who have played a part in this and am inspired by all those that strive everyday towards making a more sustainable, equitable and inclusive world for everyone. I feel blessed to be surrounded by people who care, who challenge me, who support me, make up for my shortcomings, hold me to account and push me to be better everyday. Thank you. I am especially grateful to Dadaji who taught me (and millions of others) that we need to change ourselves before we can change the world, to conduct experiments everywhere, to see the goodness in humanity, and to always build bridges so no-one is left behind.

Businesses will need to figure out how to deliver remote working, hybrid working, fairly and without favouritism. There is a risk hybrid working will exacerbate existing inequalities in the workplace rather than reducing them. Many studies show that given the choice, more women, ethnic minorities and parents will spend less time in the office. Only time will tell what price we might pay for this, as managers value physical presence even if subconsciously. Many of the barriers to progress are human in nature, subconscious and entrenched. We have to be careful not to polarise and shame. I remain optimistic that we can make changes intentionally, systematically and by design, with proper diagnosis, balanced research, more experimentation, and sharing of best practice.

2022 will likely bring more change and adaptation as we will adjust to new realities – hybrid work, changes to travel, lower carbon emissions, higher inflation, social anxiety, rebalancing our relationship with technology, our mental health and maybe even our spirituality. We can look at that with fear and dread or with hope and curiosity.

As I look to 2022 personally, it’s a fresh start which is a little scary but also exciting. I want to work towards achieving greater physical health, emotional understanding, mental resilience, deeper connections and spiritual strength for myself and my loved ones. I want to spend more time, develop more compassion, and build more understanding of the mental health challenges young people and other vulnerable people in our families, communities and society are left facing with limited support.

I want to build on what I have learnt this year – to listen, to be present, to hold space, without overlaying my judgments, without projecting my ideas, without trying to fix/solve or control situations. I want to be present without diving in to save the day, recognising that all human beings are incredibly strong, resilient, adaptive and innovative. I also want to remember in the process of change that we cannot make someone do something they don’t want to do or are not ready to do. We have to empower those we love and care about them enough to help them find their own strength and chart their way, in their own time, on their own terms whilst giving love and support selflessly.

Like in the Disney movie Frozen, which was on TV again this Christmas, we have to let go of our masks, our fears and worries about what others will think, and how they will judge us. We need to be a little bit braver and let people see us as we truly are, with all our imperfections. By doing this courageously, we liberate others to be themselves too. It’s the exact opposite of the filtered, rose-tinted and curated versions of ourselves that we post on instagram. With each passing year I am even more convinced that we all just want to be seen, accepted and loved for who we really are, with all our faults and shortcomings. This is terrifying but maybe some of the most meaningful work we do.

I remain optimistic for the future given our incredible capacity to deal with suffering, to grow from it, to reflect, learn and adapt. Wishing you all the best in embracing change, letting go, opening your eyes, ears and hearts, inviting adversity, peeling back the layers of the onion, loving without expectations and building deeper connections.

Happy New Year!