2022 and dealing with the elephant in the room — Depression

Introduction

Ah, California in the spring of 2020 — a time when we reveled in having to stay home yet still feared for our lives by daring to go out and grab some toilet paper. But then again, what else was new? For me, however, nothing seemed to matter enough to make the effort. I knew from the very first two weeks of lockdown something wasn’t quite right. It felt like an invisible wall, blocking my every attempt at motivation and progress and it only got worse as the lockdown continued. It can leave you feeling isolated, helpless, and hopeless — but it doesn’t have to be that way. Days of emotional struggle transformed into long months and then a year-and-a-half journey of self discovery, until I was diagnosed with severe depression. Finally armed with the understanding that what I experienced wasn’t just sadness or stress but serious mental illness — this revelation allowed me to move forward on the path toward healing. Here are the 7 steps that helped me over the past year.

1 — Talk To Someone

The best thing you can do is reach out and talk to someone. Friends, family, or even professionals — talking to someone about your feelings is an important first step. When it feels like no one understands, talking to someone who has been through something similar to you can help you feel less alone in your struggle. Sharing your story with another person can provide you with a sense of comfort and hope that things will get better. In fact, in a?2022 State of Workforce Mental Health ?report by Lyra,?“84 percent of workers surveyed experienced at least one mental health challenge over the past year”?and?“nearly a third (31 percent) of workers surveyed said their mental health has declined over the past year — up from 24 percent at the end of 2020.”?You can find more details on this report?here . So, why do I share this information, it’s because you’re not alone. Even amongst a small group of people, say 10 friends, 10 family members or even 10 co-workers, more than 8 of them have experienced a mental health challenge so while it may seem like it, you are most definitely not alone. Speak to someone and you never know, you might just help them too.

National Suicide Prevention/Crisis Line, 800.273.TALK (8255) ? Available 24/7/365

2 — Therapy

After speaking with my wife, the next step I took was to reach out for help from a professional therapist. This was difficult at first because seeking help is never easy, but it ended up being one of the best decisions that I ever made. I went through Lyra, you can check them out?here ?and see if they’re a fit for you or you can find additional resources compiled by?Forbes Health here . My therapist, Sarah, helped me to understand what I was going through, provided me with tools such as cognitive behavioral therapy which changed my mindset and challenged any negative thoughts towards myself. She was able to provide support and guidance throughout my journey, which made a huge difference in helping me cope with my depression.

3 — Set Boundaries and Solve for Happy

One of the biggest problems when dealing with depression is that it can be hard to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy habits and after speaking with my therapist for a few weeks, I started setting boundaries for myself so that I could focus on activities or tasks. When taking something on, I asked myself, is this going to make me?happy?or is this going to take my?time? If the answer was no to either of these, I simply didn’t do it. Being open with the people around you allows you to take the necessary steps to look after yourself and not offend anyone while doing it. I really like?Mo Gawdats ’ approach in his book, “Solve for Happy ”, where he asks readers to make a list of what makes you happy. Once the list is complete, you should highlight and prioritize what’s most important for you to focus on.

4 — Be Kind To Yourself and STFU, Stephen!

It’s easy to forget when we’re dealing with depression, but it’s important to remember that we all make mistakes sometimes — it doesn’t mean that we are not worthy of love or happiness. Be mindful of how you talk to yourself — Why? “For some reason, our brains defer to the negative. According to the?National Science Foundation ,?80% of our thoughts are negative.” Negative self-talk only serves to perpetuate feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy, so try to shift your thinking towards being more compassionate towards yourself instead! A technique that my coach, Roth, gave to me and one that I still use to this day is to name the voice in your head. Whatever your heart desires, just give it a name. Once you’ve given that pesky little voice in your head a name, the next time they chirp up and try to take you down, just say, “Hey Stephen, how about you STFU and while you’re here, fetch me a happier thought.” You’ll be amazed that by catching it in the moment and training your brain to stop with the negativity and replacing it with happier thoughts that you suddenly stop hearing the voice over time. Practice makes perfect?(Stephen is not real and there were no Stephen’s hurt in the making of this paragraph)

5 — Improving my Fitness for Longevity

One of the best things I did for myself was start lifting weights at least three times a week and going on long and slow runs twice a week, typically ranging from 5 to 8 miles a run. Exercise releases endorphins which have been proven to be effective at fighting depression. It also gave me something new and fun to focus on while providing an outlet for stress relief and improved physical health. In fact, Peter Attia MD, shares in this?Joe Rogan podcast , we can decrease our risk of death by 5 fold with a?VO2 Max ?of an elite level (Defined as the top 2.5% of the population) in all cause mortality. If we layer in strength, we decrease our risk of death by 3 fold from all cause mortality when you compare high strength to low strength. If you’re interested to learn more in this area, Peter shares some additional information about?exercising for longevity here . This has probably been my biggest non-negotiable of 2022 and one that I was most consistent at throughout the year. It’s insane what a good sweat will do for the mind (and body) so I recommend trying to find what works best for you and don’t be afraid to change it up regularly if you’re not being challenged enough.

6 — Combining Meditation, Breath Work and Cold Exposure For a Calmer Life

Another major part of my recovery was meditation. Meditation provides mental clarity, reduces stress levels, boosts your mood, and helps you become more mindful of yourself and those around you — all benefits that are essential for anyone dealing with depression. Taking even just 10 minutes out of your day to control your breathing can make a world of difference! I like to inhale for 4 seconds and exhale for 8. There are many meditation apps out there but I have been using the Elevate Labs?Balance app , which is also offering a free year if you sign up now! As for cold exposure, Dr. Andrew Huberman, mentions in this?episode of the Huberman Lab podcast ?that deliberate cold exposure, anything from cold showers to fully cold immersion in water can lift people’s mood, attention and energy anywhere from 250% to 500% the baseline. As for the physical benefits of deliberate cold exposure outlined in this?Men’s Health article , “It found that ice baths and massages were the most (effective) at lowering inflammation.” Combining all three of these over the last year have massively improved my mood and ensured my body is ready to go again the following day after a tough workout.

7 — Be Open to New Experiences and Have Fun

When you’re struggling with depression, it can be hard to think about having fun. But when I started turning a corner in my own journey towards better mental health, I committed to embracing more joyful moments and making the most of time spent with family and friends. Earlier in the year, my wife and I enjoyed a fabulous visit from the in-laws and my Dad and his wife joined us later in the year. Exploring sunny California together was an incredible experience none of us will soon forget! As for music — I decided to try something new: electronic dance music! This led me down an exciting and uplifting path that culminated in experiencing Tomorrowland alongside some of my closest friends; truly one of life’s greatest bucket list items! When you’re ready, don’t be afraid to explore new experiences and most importantly, have fun while doing it — it could lead to some amazing discoveries!

Final Word

Dealing with depression is no easy feat but it isn’t impossible either! By acknowledging the problem, reaching out for help from family, friends or professionals, and creating an action plan tailored specifically for you, managing your depression becomes much more manageable. Remember that everyone’s journey is different so don’t compare yourself to others — focus on taking one step at a time towards achieving inner peace and happiness! With?consistency?and?patience?anything is possible!

With these tips in mind I’d like to share this message from?CHNGE , one of my favorite clothing brands. To whoever needs it…you are important, you are loved, you are beautiful, you are enough, you are capable, you are kind, you are strong, you are needed, you matter…yes you do.

If you found value in the steps I’ve taken to deal with depression, I’d be grateful if you could share it with your network and perhaps we can help other people who are struggling with their mental health get the support they need. ??