2021 - A Year of inquiry about work

I woke on 4th January, immediately thinking about the start of the working year. I was supposed to still be on holiday and yet here I am thinking about work. A memory popped up of me receiving 360 feedback when I was late 20’s. I received a 100% top score that I was ‘driven to deliver’. That was in 1993 and here I am 28 years later still struggling with this drive. 

Of course - it has served me in many many ways. I am really happy to be able to do fulfilling work which I hope makes a positive impact. However…. I have also struggled with work for years. My entire working life has been about helping people have a better time in their working lives - but I have not managed to get mine right! 

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”  Carl Jung

I am not, as Jung suggests, irritated with others about their work, I really want to help them. It’s just that all along I might have helped myself by finding a greater understanding of myself. I haven’t taken the opportunity to inquire into why I find work so hard. I haven’t looked for real solutions. 

This months marks 20 years since I founded Bailey Balfour. I can hardly believe this. One of my intentions of going out on my own was to live a more balanced life. I had always blamed my bosses for my extreme workload and wanted to escape that. Guess what? They weren’t the problem - I was!!!!

20 years on and it appears I have leant very little. 

For me it is a conundrum. I am driven, ambitious. Not ambitious to climb the ladder or even to build a massive business. I am ambitious to be my best self and to do as much as I can. This means I think about work and business on holiday and weekends. 

On the other side I regularly over commit, to myself and others. I set difficult to achieve goals and then I end up working longer and harder than is good. Then I get tired, irritable. Then I just long for weekends and holidays - so that I can think about work! My strong drive to ‘please people’ doesn’t help and I find it hard to say no, especially to those close to me.

I read extensively on how to help others and myself in their lives - yet I still haven’t found the answer to my own working story. 

Prior to Covid-19, at least holidays were in different and often very beautiful places. In 2020, these holidays were at home, the same place as my office. As I have written about, this in part led to me having a very difficult year in my working life. 

For years now I have been trying to break this cycle. I dream and talk about writing more and having more space to create and then never get there. 2021 is my chance and my commitment to myself. I won’t be travelling for most of the year, so now it is time to not only help others enjoy their working life, it is time to help myself. 

I intend to take 2021 to inquire into the nature of work and see what I can learn and change. I will share my own learning, learning from clients and from books and podcasts I listen to. I aim to try and make sense of my conundrum. Hopefully this in turn will help you think about your own working life.

One way I am aim to do this is by Journalling a lot. This is something I love doing and not an additional chore. This year I will be asking myself weekly questions like - 

‘What have I done this week that has been good for me in my working life? 

‘When was I happiest at work this week?

‘When was I the most grumpy?’

‘Where did I sabotage myself?’

‘What do I notice about my internal drives and triggers?’

‘What did I read that is helpful to me and others in our working lives?’

‘What am I learning about the nature of work and how to create a more fulfilling and balanced working life?’

Here’s to a year of awakening. 

I’d love to hear from you about your own challenges at work, and maybe we can together look for ways to take charge of our working lives.

If you are interested in also doing your own inquiry in 2021 and would like to be part of a group doing this, please send me a direct message.