2021: The year I belonged - Failures, wins and lessons learned

As 2021 is coming to an end, many of us reflect on the year, the goals, wishlists and accomplishments.?

2021 has been a significant year for me, from scrambling to get all my book pages written to ending with burnout and digital anxiety. I have transformed from a naive business person to a confident and in command businesswoman, building, becoming and pushing boundaries.?

I can start this dialogue with the wins, but only one side of the year's story. I have failed, faced rejection and even got myself into situations where I feared missing out; discussions, events and business opportunities. My confidence was questioned, and I asked myself - is this where I belong?

Why are we so reluctant to discuss what hasn't gone to plan?

I am a big fan of talking about failing. Failure is a great teacher. For me, it is merely a temporary disruptor that helps you find new solutions to a challenge.??

The truth is that we are not talking about failing enough. Instead, we see all these success stories on the media or LinkedIn, which make you doubt your path or make you feel like you are doing things wrong.?

This 'always winning' narrative can impact people's self-confidence and sense of worth, triggering imposter syndrome in so many professionals. Imagine, I published an 11 chapter amazon trending bestseller and yet found myself having cold feet when writing. I STOPPED ALTOGETHER when I couldn't find the "right" words to pen to paper.?

It was a sense of - who would want to listen? What do I have to say? If I write it down, it will become true - and they will know the "real" me. The version of myself who sometimes wakes in cold sweats before a deadline, asks her team to sense-check her emails, so they aren't deemed "aggressive", and the one who leaves her phone at home when going for a walk to resist the urge to scroll.

I have made it a personal goal to encourage honest and open conversations around what we don't see: the hardships, the challenges and the things that failed. This has been true of my 2019 Ted talk , my 2020 year of winging it, 2021 of belonging and will be for 2022 - the rebirth.

So, with that in mind, I want to present a realistic view of how my 2021 went. Each month I will share what I planned - and how I failed - what I learned, and the win of the month.??

January

What didn't go according to plan: I started 2021 with the big goal of applying to be a news presenter at the BBC Asian Network. They had opened an application round, and many directly messaged me to use. Outwardly, I was determined and excited about doing it, but the reality is that curating an audiotape startled my nerves; I got too scared and didn't pursue it anymore.

Win & lesson learned: While I felt a bit disappointed in not following through on my goal, I took it as an opportunity to concentrate on one of my most significant projects: my book Unprepared to Entrepreneur . So, I took all that energy and channeled it into finishing the book. That month, I revised the book front to back twice and established 11 chapters instead of 12.?

February?

What didn't go according to plan: Even though I prioritised the book over any other endeavours, it turned out writing a book was more complicated than I thought. I realised that, while I was making progress, it wasn't enough, and I was running behind on my deadlines, and it seemed I wasn't going to finish it on time.

This led to creating a strict timeline, little social presence, scheduling writing into the calendar and asking people around me to hold me accountable.?

Win & lesson learned: On the other hand, I also realised that I balance my hat as an author and founder. While I was determined to finish the book, I ensured that our second LMF Network mentoring programme cohort was launched and operating smoothly. I am glad I did that because it was a huge success. We had over 600 participants from 14 countries, making it the most extensive digital mentoring programme by a not-for-profit in the UK .

March

What didn't go according to plan: When people interact with me, they see an energetic, social and enthusiastic person. But, sometimes, I am faking it. During March, I started to feel social anxiety but was unsure of what that meant. I mean, LMF and one of my core services require public speaking. How could I feel like this when I had to be a 'happy person' for my clients?

Win & lesson learned: I was asked to participate in several International Women's Day campaigns, including Monki, Rens and LinkedIn. It made me renew my commitment to empowering and enabling women to achieve their measure of success. Such experiences were also my first time dabbling in "influencer" led campaigns, which were less about me speaking and more using imagery or video content to present a message. Video campaigns are complex, but I am glad I could give it a go! Furthermore, Steady confirmed a three-month DE&I project under my business, and I wrote an article for The Telegraph on workplace bullying.

April

What didn't go according to plan: April was not a good month. I received many rejections from pitches I had done of DE&I training and workshops. I started to doubt whether my proposals were good enough, and I worried about keeping a sustainable business. I thought of quitting and even started scrolling LinkedIn to see if any jobs were available in the DE&I field.?

Win & lesson learned: After much reflection, I knew what I was offering was valuable and necessary to change the workforce. So, my lesson was to be patient and keep my eyes on the goal. I knew it was a slump, and I just needed to keep working and reaching out to potential clients. So, I revised my workshop decks, asked my team to lend a hand in navigating different experiences, repriced my deliverables and reached out to past clients for testimonials. Eventually, Babbel came back to confirm that they were happy to go ahead with a 6-month DE&I programme led by my team. This newfound reflection helped me finish my book and hand it to my publisher, Kogan Page .?

May?

What didn't go according to plan: I got rejected from my PhD application. For a few years now, I have been very keen on contributing to the understanding of attrition of women - particularly South Asian women - in the tech sector. However, my goal to pursue postgraduate studies got shot down. I was one of 5 applicants going for a full three-year scholarship, and I must admit, I thought I would get the chance.

Win & lesson learned: Of course, this rejection brought me down for a few days, but in the end, I decided to dedicate my energy to my next project. I genuinely believe that something else is coming along when things don't go to plan. And I was right; within the hour of being rejected from the PhD, I was announced as the new presenter at BBC Asian Network as the host of The Everyday Hustle . This opportunity came to me through Audio Always and the BBC Asian Network. They discovered me through my brand, website and video content. In January, I was too scared to give it a try, and it all fell into the plan in May.

June

What didn't go according to plan: I wanted to take a break since I had been working non-stop since the end of 2020. But, unfortunately, it just wasn't possible. New projects that required me to be on all the time though I felt I didn't have organisational support.?

Win & lesson learned: I decided I needed to build a team that could delegate tasks and help me lessen my workload. That is how I brought in new colleagues to support with communications and PR, project management and client management. I am delighted to take this decision since it has allowed me to keep LMF and my business growing. Delegation is often hard for first-time founders, but I encourage everyone to identify their gaps and fill them with people more talented than yourselves.?

July?

What didn't go according to plan: I had lined up several workshops, and the attendance was … well, non-existent. It was a blow, and I was not expecting it since LMF workshops were well received the year before. It made me wonder, "What was happening? - should we carry on or stop right here?"

Win & lesson learned: I used this situation to rethink LMF's offering and what we could be doing differently to continue upskilling and empowering the community. During that month, I started working and filming the promotional material for an incredibly inspiring campaign: the LinkedIn #Changemakers initiative. Through my constant voice online, championing the community and sharing my actionable views on diversity & inclusion - I was fortunate enough to be asked to be one of 8 changemakers in 2021.

August

What didn't go according to plan: I imagined a summer off, running around the fields and drinking lemonade and meeting old and new friends to iced tea whilst discovering the hidden gems of London. None of this came true. Instead, it was full of invoices, admin, which I had procrastinated on and figuring out where the next six months of income were coming from.

Win & lesson learned: The LinkedIn #The Changemakers campaign went live ! I was honoured to be one of the eight changemakers selected and proud of being the only South Asian woman to be recognised with this distinction. This campaign highlights the extraordinary work being done to ensure inclusion.

September

What didn't go according to plan: I felt honoured that I was asked to do a blog - which I will go into more detail about in 2022 -, but all I could feel was that I was an imposter. Why were they asking me to do it? Who was I to be 'preaching' about this topic? I had not experienced imposter syndrome in a while, so it surprised me.?

Win & lesson learned: Imposter syndrome is not a one-time thing that will not happen again. On the contrary, this event made me realise that working on your confidence and being your best self is something you must work on every day. I was also asked to become a lecturer at Coventry University helped me reaffirm my skills and expertise and provide the opening keynote for Rec Fest's most significant conference in Margate. In addition, I started to voice record rather than write and narrate content through LinkedIn rather than focus on delivering a newsletter. This ensured slow steps but constant commitment.

October?

What didn't go according to plan: The lack of a proper break-in of almost 18 months finally caught up with me. I had a 15-day migraine during October due to overworking and not prioritising my well being enough. This meant that I had to step away from my computer for several days and work the minimum amount of hours as possible, leaving most of the day-to-day to my team.?

Win & lesson learned: That migraine episode forced me to put myself first and take a week-long break to recover and focus only on my health. I have once been reminded of the importance of having a good team and being a leader who is honest and authentic. My book launched worldwide and quickly rose to Amazon's bestsellers, which brightened up my month. I was invited to Amsterdam to deliver an in-person workshop for Polarsteps (the first trip aboard post-pandemic).

November?

What didn't go according to plan: I had to let go of two interns we had hired to support LMF's activities. I won't lie...it was a tough decision because I am passionate about helping young professionals upskill to pursue their careers. But, I knew it was a decision that made sense for the whole team. They came to all guns blazing and passionate but were often distracted or delayed communication—this cost the business financial losses and morale.

Win & lesson learned: Though my team was not growing as fast as I wanted - or needed - I realised that I needed to find solutions to make our operation more manageable for everyone. News about LMF's plans for 2022 to come. We started working on the 2022 streamlining mission, focusing on our core areas of mentoring & confidence building, which was also my message through the LinkedIn Changemakers campaign. However, there is a new venture that has me incredibly enthusiastic. Along with my co-founder, Deborah, we have begun working on LaunchEDI , the first operation management software in the world focused on equity, diversity and inclusion. Stay tuned for its launch!

December?

What didn't go according to plan: I lost business proposals that I thought were solid. I had moments where I wanted to quit, and even days, I did not turn on my laptop due to anxiety. That is not how I expected to finish my 2021 since I was pretty keen on working with these clients, and I was already thinking about how to deliver a great DEI programme. But, this is the life of an entrepreneur. Full of wins and losses.?

Win & lesson learned: After many months of feeling drained and on the verge of burnout, I took a well-deserved break. I deleted my social media apps from my phone and limited the time I spent online to 1 hour per day - some days were more straightforward than others. However, it gave me room to start thinking about my goals for 2022. I have written about this on Medium .

2021 - The year I knew that I belonged.

So, you see. My 2021 was not just accomplishments and successes. I struggled with migraines and mental health; I had moments where I thought things weren't working out and made me doubt what I was doing and how I was going to keep my business running. I wanted to quit, run away and chill. But, I didn't know how to ask for help or help myself.

I call 2021 life-changing because opportunities slowly fell into place once I started to focus on myself, the value-added and decreased noise. There was less social comparison and more supporting the community. I started this year unsure and ended it secure in my position - I belong here, I deserve to be here, and I am ready to launch. It was the year I cemented and knew that I belonged.

This recap has shown me that I learned and grew so much, and I am excited about what 2022 will bring. I recommend you do this exercise, especially if you feel like you didn't 'accomplish' anything significant this year.?

What did 2021 teach me?

• PRIORITISE your mental health and wellbeing or make sure to balance work and personal time ARE WINS.?
• INCLUSION starts from the I - What are doing to change the narrative, share the truth and work towards a better future?
• Focus on THE USP - yours and the business. And let this lead your decisions.
• PASSION triumphs all - If you follow your passion, you will wake up daily happy with the decisions you have made. If you have many passions, find your top 3 and give them a go.
• ASK for help - from your friends, family, colleagues, strangers and business clients.
• SPEAK out loud your fears and failures - once they are out there, they can be managed, and others can learn from them.
• Take a BREAK - be reasonable in yourself so we are good for our business.
• ENJOY the journey - like any journey, there's a chance you will have roadblocks, your fair share of weather change and be redirected; often, this is the fun.

There's so much more I could have shared from working with brands such as Google, Financial Times to HP, Patch Plants, and being interviewed on RT News and writing for Startup Mags. There is always more to say, but we can save that for zoom or virtual coffee :)

A big thank you to the community and cheerleaders who have supported me and reminded me of my position, faith and power. Many people who ordered my book followed LMF Network and listened to the radio show - that one engagement makes the most significant difference. And to my family, friends and the team, who have no doubt had to deal with the reality of building a business.?

Moving forward, I will aim to write an honest newsletter covering thoughts and truths around entrepreneurship, inclusion and life. I have titled this Unprepared to Entrepreneur to carry on from the narrative which started this whole phase.

Please share and comment, so we continue to change the narrative about success and failure.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SONYA BARLOW IS AN AWARD-WINNING ENTREPRENEUR, FOUNDER OF?@LMFNETWORK ?&?LaunchEDI , TEDX SPEAKER, LINKEDIN CHANGEMAKER 2021, BBC RADIO HOST AND AUTHOR. IN 2021, SONYA PUBLISHED HER DEBUT HANDBOOK ON ENTREPRENEURSHIP, BUSINESS & BECOMING YOUR OWN BOSS TITLED:?UNPREPARED TO ENTREPRENEUR ?AND WAS ANNOUNCED AS THE HOST OF?BBC ASIAN NETWORK’S THE EVERYDAY HUSTLE.

IN 2020, SHE WAS NAMED AS ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL WOMEN IN TECH (COMPUTERWEEKLY), WINNER OF THE WOMEN IN SOFTWARE CHANGEMAKERS (MAKERS AND GOOGLE), TOP 50 BAME ENTREPRENEURS (TECHROUND), FUTURE SHAPER 2020 (MARIE CLAIRE) AND FORBES 30 UNDER 30 SHORTLIST RUNNER UP 2021. SHE HAS DELIVERED TWO?TEDX TALKS ?AND IS ACKNOWLEDGED AS AN INTERNATIONAL KEYNOTE SPEAKER. SONYA HAS HAD HER ARTICLES PUBLISHED IN METRO NEWSPAPER, SIFTED EU AND THE TELEGRAPH.

As you know, LinkedIn Changemakers is a force-for-good, always-on campaign, spotlighting individuals like yourselves, whom each represents causes that impact the world of work; Mental Health, The Future of Work, Gender Equality, Racial Equality, LGBTQ+ Equality, Equality for professionals with Disabilities, Sustainability, and overcoming Unemployment/Career Setbacks. With LinkedIn’s vision being “to drive economic opportunity for every member of the global workforce”, the Changemakers programme is just one of several initiatives by LinkedIn to show their stance that everyone should have equitable access to opportunity and work. In the UK, LinkedIn is also partnered with?UK Youth ,?10,000 Black Interns , and?MyKindaFuture’s ?Connect ?programme. Find out more here

This article was written as part of the LinkedIn #Changemakers campaign – a campaign shining a spotlight on individuals using LinkedIn to drive genuine change in the world of work. To find out more about the partnership, read more here. And if you want to join the conversation, share the one thing you’d like to change about the world of work in a post on LinkedIn with the hashtag #ConversationsForChange.