2021 Will Not Be My Year

If 2020 taught us anything, it is that there are very few things we can take for granted in life and 2021 will be no different.

For me, every New Year's eve would include some proclamation that the new year will "be my year". Sometimes this meant professional success, other times it was more personal because "my year" could be achieving a health goal, going on THAT vacation, or driving my business to new heights. If setting an impossible standard was a competition, I would've won gold every single January 1st.

The problem with making such a definitive pledge is that you are all but certain to not achieve it because, what does "my year" really mean? If I earned X, would I feel on December 31st that I could've earned X+1? If I finally visited the island from Lost, would I be remiss that I didn't take the time to also visit Gilligan's island? Making such declarative statements is almost as futile as making New Year's resolutions.

2020 was a transformational year for me and not just because I run a live events business that found a way to persevere through a global pandemic, but more importantly - and impactful - I was finally able to slay my depression, PTSD and anxiety through MDMA assisted psychotherapy. If you're interested in that story, feel free to read my post, "My Long Shadow, Slayed". There are many lessons this treatment taught me, but perhaps the most relative is that there are no guarantees in life. Tomorrow is not a given, and all we really have is this very moment.

As the momentum (no pun intended) continues to build to provide greater access to a variety of behavioral health treatments including psychedelics to help combat the coming mental health pandemic, it has never been more important to provide those who are curious, access to knowledge about the healing powers of these medicines. Part of this knowledge will come in the form of patient stories, such as the ones I've shared on my passion project website, Balanced Trail, and part will come from watching how those who've had treatments live their lives.

I'm not here to preach and know far too well how hard it is for someone to admit they need help, yet alone take the leap of faith psychedelics warrant, but I do know that this is the first new year of my new life, and I will not waste this opportunity to live better.

So 2021 will not be my year, but that doesn't mean it won't be a good one. Country star David Nail put it best when he sang this chorus from Good at Tonight:

Yesterday's history,

tomorrow's a mystery,

Go ahead and guess all you want,

There's no rhyme or reason,

For wasting time thinking 'bout,

What's gonna go right or wrong,

I'm a straight shot, no chaser,

One chance-in-hell taker,

But you can come along for the ride,

I should come with a warning,

Yeah, I've always been good at tonight

So 2021 will not be my year, but today will be my day. If you knew this was the last year you would live, how would you live it? The answers are perhaps less important than just thinking about the question.

**