Emotions Drive Decisions (And How to Use That to Your Advantage)

Are you Managing Up And Hitting a Wall?

You’ve crafted the perfect proposal, laid out the benefits, and meticulously backed up every point with data...

But when you finally pitch your idea to upper management, it doesn’t land the way you’d hoped.

Maybe they’re nodding politely, but their faces say, “Not convinced.”

You’re left wondering, What am I missing?

For many leaders, this scenario is all too familiar.

We spend hours preparing our rationale, believing that the strength of our logic alone will win over decision-makers.

But even the most well-constructed arguments sometimes fail to break through.

That’s because there’s an often-overlooked layer to influencing others—emotions.

The Hidden Factor: Emotions as Decision Drivers

As much as we like to think of ourselves as rational beings, research has shown time and again that emotions play a huge role in our decisions.

In fact, studies from neuroscientists emphasize that emotions are not just influencing factors but critical elements in our decision-making processes.

Our brains receive information through the old brain, the part that governs survival instincts. It filters through the limbic system (our emotional brain), and only then does it reach the prefrontal cortex, where rational analysis occurs.

By the time we reach a logical decision, we’ve already had an emotional response. If an idea feels right, we’re likely to pursue it; if it doesn’t, even the most data-packed argument can struggle to win us over.

The Role of Emotions in Decision Making

Emotions act as data points that tell us how we and others are experiencing a situation. Emotions can signal caution, convey excitement, or spark curiosity, all of which are important in shaping our decisions.

By ignoring or bypassing the emotional undercurrents in conversations with upper management, we risk missing an entire dimension of influence.

To manage up effectively, leaders need to become emotionally aware—both of their own emotional cues and those of the people they’re trying to influence.

3 Tips to Leverage Emotions When Managing Up

Here are some practical ways to tap into the emotional side of decision-making and strengthen your influence:

1. Acknowledge Their Priorities and Concerns Before you dive into advocating for your idea, take a step back to understand your decision maker’s emotional landscape. What pressures or concerns are they juggling? By empathizing with their current state, you’re not only building rapport but also setting the stage for them to be more receptive to your proposal. Try phrasing things like, “I know the focus is on X, and I believe this idea supports that by…” This signals that you’re in tune with their emotional drivers, not just the logical arguments.
2. Appeal to Shared Values and Vision Decision makers are more likely to get onboard when they feel an emotional connection to a proposal, especially if it aligns with shared goals or values. Instead of only focusing on the “what” and “how,” touch on the “why.” Why is this meaningful? Why does this help the company or team? By tying your idea to a shared vision, you’re creating an emotional bridge that makes it easier for them to connect with and champion your ideas.
3. Be Mindful of Your Own Emotional Cues Managing up is as much about managing your own emotions as it is about understanding theirs. Before a big pitch or proposal, do a quick check-in with yourself. Are you feeling nervous? Defensive? Excited? Understanding your own emotions helps you stay calm and focused, rather than letting nerves or defensiveness impact how you’re perceived. Decision makers are more likely to trust and listen to someone who appears grounded and self-assured, even if they’re presenting a bold or challenging idea.

Real-World Influence Through Emotional Intelligence

In my coaching program, The Executive Edge, I work with leaders like you to develop the emotional intelligence skills that make influence easier.

Take one client for example, a senior manager, had struggled for months to get buy-in from her executive team on a new initiative. She’d presented the data countless times, but it wasn’t sticking. Through our sessions, she learned to use empathy and emotional insight—tuning into her executive team’s fears about budget and their hope for long-term growth. By aligning her pitch with those concerns and aspirations, she finally got the green light and earned her team’s trust in the process.

Ready to Build Influence That Sticks?

Influence starts with more than facts and figures; it starts with connecting on an emotional level, then harnessing and leveraging emotional energy. If you’re looking to elevate your influence by understanding the full spectrum of decision-making, send me a DM.

Let’s discuss how we can equip you to navigate complex conversations and help you lead with both heart and strategy.