2020 insights from an extravert: 4 things to carry into the new year

What a year it has been! We have been through SO much and have learned so much as well. As we do on the last day of a year, I have been reflecting on this past year, what this has mean for me as a communicator but also as an extrovert. 

All my life, from summer camps, to school, to the business world, I have been using my interpersonal skills to build relationships, to maintain engagement with teams, and to inspire. I have been doing this naturally, as a pure extrovert who thrives on meeting new people and making new meaningful connections.

For many reasons, this year has been quite a reset for me. I have had to learn to continue to maintain this momentum and spirit, while being isolated behind a computer, and while walking around with a mask, hiding my smile which I use to communicate my enthusiasm and interest in those I meet. It has been a fascinating shift.

Here is what I noticed, as we turn the page on 2020:

1) Be present, even if you are not

You do not need to be 'live' in front of someone, to truly connect! If you treat those Zoom or Teams meetings like a coffee chat at work or a serious business meeting with an agenda, it works. It is not about being present physically, it is about being present emotionally and having the intention to TRULY connect with the people on the other side of their screen. 

2) Your team, Your team, Your team

Looking back, I totally took for granted the moments when my team members and I got a chance to talk, whether it was in a cab on the way to a client meeting or a pitch, in the kitchen making a tea to refuel or in the hallways of our office. Those 15 minutes are so important, we get to be away from our phones and connect, often not about work but about what makes us human. I failed early this year at taking enough time to connect with my team members. I was jumping from one meeting to the next, one client task to the next. I did not allow enough ‘soft’ time in the agenda for those discussions. A few months ago, after I finally understood my shortcoming, I booked 15-minute one-on-one chats with individual colleagues and I called them ‘just for fun’. The truth is, I connect even better now with them then I did when the office was open! I see their kids, their cats, their partners, the art they like and the real them. It was beautiful. 

3) Use your eyes

Communicate with your eyes; non-verbal communication is powerful. Our eyes can do a better job at communicating then our words. Especially during in-person communications when we are wearing a mask, use your eyes! Do not look away, make eye contact with those who are speaking to you and go within your soul to use your eyes as a vehicle for what you are feeling: empathy, admiration, interest. If you tell your soul what you want your eyes to communicate, trust me (and a ton of researchers on this one), the person you are talking to – despite your mask- will feel the power of your intent. Also, I think we tend to talk too much! So, let us use this ‘mask time’ to learn how to listen better, and to show our emotions differently.

4) Choose yourself

Ouf that is a tough one for those of us who are so career oriented that work is play and play. But the truth is, before the lockdown, that was my life. I always put time for the gym in my schedule, yet every time a client or a colleague needed me at that time, I would push the gym away. That was a bad decision. For 9 months now I have booked time in my agenda for me and my health. A first in 25 years! I am open with both my clients and colleagues who need my time and share some version of: “I am sorry I cannot do a meeting at that time as I am going to train and get fit!” Not everyone may approve of my approach, but I feel a genuine sense of respect for those who I have shared this with, as they have been understanding to the fact that that they are important to me, but that I am also making my health a priority. I have a 7-year-old son (the love of my life), a family I adore, a career that is fantastic so if I want to keep this going for a few more decades, I need to start taking care of the engine that allows it to run. My final thought here is, do not be scared to embrace your values, and to share them with those around you. Most will respect you for it and you will benefit immensely.

To all of you who read this post, I hope you have also taken a moment to look back at your new habits this year. Life as we knew it will come back, we don’t yet know when and what it will look like. Until our new normal arrives, whatever we were able to get out of this chaotic year, we should share it, write it down and making sure we hold it closely to our hearts so the wonderful tsunami of life does not wash it away from us.

Best to all of you, happy new year, I hope you and your families are safe and thank you for being part of my community here on LinkedIn!