2019 - What a Year!

There's a lot of posts out there stating what a year 2019 has been and I'm genuinely happy for those people who have had a great year.......but for me, 2019 has been shit!

Seriously, it has been a big steaming pile of shit!

I made a few mistakes and I can't wait for it to end!

What happened?

Following an impressive 2017 and 2018 in which I earned more money than I 've ever earned (not a huge amount, but significant to me), I was looking forward to 2019.

I was feeling confident but........I made the mistake of putting all my eggs in one basket at the start of this year, turning away other consulting opportunities for one business, which fell through!

I hadn't planned effectively and I had no income coming from anywhere, because I hadn't done any business development; I didn't have any new clients.........

FUCKING IDIOT!

After taking some time to re-evaluate where I was, I decided this year I would close down my business and wanted to get back into the corporate world once again.

Running a business is tough, particularly a consulting business, when in essence, you are responsible for everything, taxes, accounting, business development, delivery.....it’s a lonely time. You’re an outsider looking in when you work with your clients, regardless of how much you become part of the team and ingrained in their culture, you’re still the outsider.

Despite my clarity on my desire to rejoin the corporate world, I felt like my whole world had just fell apart!

I lost my motivation, which affected me personally and I went into self destruct mode, rather than talking to someone or asking for help. I managed to hurt those around me, nearly losing my partner and two daughters in the process and was fighting both a personal and a professional battle.

I was depressed, ashamed of my new found insecurities and it was only with the love and support of my partner (bless her, she's been through so much this year), that I managed to get back on track.

I finally signed over the deeds of my business and started applying for jobs.

It was tougher than I thought at first. There wasn't a great deal of opportunities for an old dog like me. I either didn't hear back from companies, or I was told 'you're too experienced', or 'we can't afford to pay the salary of a more senior person' (despite advertising for senior candidates).

I had some interviews with some companies, who offered opportunities that looked great, but upon meeting or speaking with them, it was clear they were not a good match for me (remember, just like dating, it's a two way thing folks).

Then in the summer it happened, a fantastic opportunity arose, a funded start-up in an interesting field. We talked, I liked them, they liked me and more importantly, they showed me they really wanted me. I had a couple of other job offers in the pipeline, but this seemed to good to miss out on. They were funded, had a strong purpose and vision, talk of big money, huge growth, acquisitions, future plans, everything seemed to be right, so I took it........

Err err err err error! Within two months the CEO and another Co-Founder had been replaced and the interim CEO had the task of saving the company. It didn't go well, the next round of funding was with-held by the investors and the company could not sustain itself. It went bankrupt. Fuck me! Could things get any worse?

Once again, I started hunting for jobs, while I sat on the brink of financial disaster, contemplating whether we would need to sell the house to survive. Cue my hero, my dad! He bailed me out and at least we had money for us as a family to survive. But, again, I pushed that self destruct button, my personal life and my family were once again exposed to my inner demons and pushed to the brink of extinction. God only knows why my partner still puts up with me.

I also started to suffer physically from a bad back, whether it was stress related or not I don't know however, I'd gone from a very healthy, active lifestyle to a limited lifestyle and the weight gain, over just a few months was incredible!

We somehow managed to pull through, even though in my desperation to provide for my family led I took on a couple of recruitment assignments I usually wouldn't have taken and yes, you've guessed it, another few months of failure.

I watched an amazing video from Mark Gaisford watch it here: https://ww,w.youtube.com/watch?v=5vWT-nun5FQ about loneliness and having no friends. Following that, it was only recently that after 11 years with my partner, I felt confident enough to open up to her and tell her how I was really doing. She was supportive, we talked, and talked, and she helped me see that I needed to talk. Apart from herself, she made me realise, I needed to talk to people I could really class as friends and get an external support mechanism in place. The problem was, I didn't really have any, I've always been the support mechanism for others, but never had one myself.

I reached out, to just one person and sent him a message on facebook, I couldn't even bring myself to call him.....I wrote to him, openly telling him what I was going though and his response was just what I needed, non judgemental, no advice, just a 'let's have a chat. do you want a call now....'. Instead I've asked to meet for lunch......soon! He'll be seeing a lot more of me now that I'll be full time in Prague again.......he can take that as a threat if he likes!

As I sit here today, a few days before Christmas, I ask myself what did I learn this year?

1. Not everyone is cut out to be a business owner. I'm proud that I tried it and managed it for a few years, but in the end, it really isn't for me, I prefer being in a team, rather than being a lone ranger.

2. Family is more important than your work, family will always be there, work will not. My family is my rock and means the world to me, I will not risk losing them ever again.

3. Your mental well being is important, ask for help. Hitting the self destruct button could cost you everything. I nearly did lose everything, I'm thankful I haven't.

4. It's okay to be honest. If people don't like what they're hearing when you speak the truth, it's their problem, not yours.

5. Friends are important too, but know who your real friends are, because it is only they who will support you. I have lots of contacts/acquaintances, but there's only a few I can call friends, who I feel I could trust with my deepest and darkest thoughts and feelings, I'm happy for having them.

6. Things can change, go wrong and take you by surprise, stay calm and be reasonable, it will help you to deal with it. It wasn't until I stepped back and took out the emotion of the situation, that I was then able to see more clearly and start to think in a more positive manner

So what has happened in the final few months of 2019

Towards the end of this year I needed to change my mindset, I needed to focus on something.....

I wrote a book!

I wrote and self published a book; Internal Recruitment - Getting The Basics Right.

A lot of my 'contacts' were like, "wow, that's great! I'm going to buy it". Some were even bold enough to make comments like "I'll get you to sign it". To date I know of 3 friends who bought it, and one of those was JC Baudais who pushed me into writing the bloody thing (maybe one day he will let me show you the video of him unwrapping his copy after Amazon delivered it)!!

It's been a slow start, but I have a 5* Rating on Amazon and had some great feedback from experienced recruiters in an international company in Prague that has led to further discussion and sharing of ideas.

My book was also recently recommended as one of the top 12 books to read on recruitment in 2020, so here's hoping it becomes a best seller!

Ok, so it doesn't need to be a best seller, I'm proud because it is something I did for me!

NOIB & NOIBing

Have you ever heard of NOIB or NOIBing? It's a proven methodology that helps managers learn how to deal with any business situation that arises through thinking and acting rather than reacting. It also encompasses a fantastic collaborative learning environment which is great for developing management teams and not just individuals.

I've been helping develop the online App available on both web and mobile (again with JC - I don't even like him, he's French, ok that's a lie, but he is French!).

I have adapted it and written a Jobseeker Journey, to help careers services in universities, better prepare their students for finding a job following their studies. I've also developed the Recruitment Journey for Recruiters and HR Professionals, and the Recruitment Journey for Hiring Managers, to help all parties involved in recruitment, develop their capabilities and efficiency in attracting and hiring talent.

Currently under development is a Journey for Changing Careers.

The updated version of the App is in BETA, and in 2020 we'll be growing our international base of clients.

NEW JOB!

Yes! I got a new job! I'm very happy to announce that I will be joining Molson Coors on the 1st January. I will be their new Senior Talent Resource Consultant.

After a long period of waiting and nervousness, my start date is coming ever closer and I can't wait to start my career in beer! I'll shortly be hooking up with experienced individuals in the food and beverages sector internationally to make them aware of some great opportunities at Molson Coors coming in 2020.

2020 is yet to start, but I can already feel it will be better than 2019! The adventure continues....

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to anyone who reads this!