2019 in review: Questions to ask yourself to get ready for 2020 ??

Tomorrow 2019 is coming to an end, and so is the timeline for the goals, visions, and ideas that we entered the year with, hoping to achieve or kick-off in 2019.

In recent years I have taken some time in the holidays to dive into some deep reflection. On my goals, accomplishments, the mistakes I made, obstacles I overcame, the things I learned and the way I prioritized my time, relationships and work. And most importantly: The why behind each one of them.

This has led to clarity on where I desired to go in the following year, what or how I wanted to change and has let me anchor my goals with a strong and motivating "why" behind them.

So they don't become yet another New Year's resolution:

This year I thought: Why not share the process so others could get something out of it as well?

So that is what I have done here. In 5 steps. I hope it can be of help, or at least spark a bit of inspiration and reflection, so you can feel at ease with closing the door to 2019 and enter 2020 with excitement.

Did 2019 turn out the way you hoped?

If yes, why? If no, why not?

We were there a year ago as well. Standing on New Year's eve, all dressed up with a glass of bubbles in hand, wearing a very fancy glitter hat that definitely goes well with the dress or tox, wondering what the coming year will bring. Some entered the new year with dreams, goals, and visions of how 2019 would turn out, and others maybe didn't give it much thought.

No matter how the year started, we all jumped into 2019 with some kind of idea for what we would achieve professionally and personally, which people we would meet, and what impact we would have in the following 365 days of our lives. And now we stand here again, either delighted about our accomplishments or disappointed in ourselves - or something or someone.

The beginning of a new year is a good time for slowing down and reflecting on the year that passed and how the decisions we made throughout the year ultimately led to how our lives look and feel today, the career we have, our financial situation, the people we're surrounded by - at work, in our network, privately and so on.

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So here we go...

?? Go through the questions one-by-one, pause, think and reflect - then write down your answer. The answer can lay within all of your life areas and not just career and professional life (e.g. family, financial, fun & recreational activities, social life etc.)

Step 1: What am I proud of?

People, especially in Denmark (which is what I'm most familiar with), are terrible at recognizing themselves. "Yeah, it wasn't that big of deal *shrugs*", "Oh that thing, noooo no no, it wasn't just me, it was...".

This makes me think that we're probably all walking around with huge imposter syndrome, anxiously waiting for someone to call our bluff, and for the love of God not telling anyone else about it. Just kidding. But I do know many people that have a hard time truly acknowledging and feeling proud of their achievements, myself included. Something might seem like a big deal on the outside and in the press, but oftentimes the story behind the curtain and internally for a person experiencing it, can be very different. And that should change for the better.

So here are some nicely uncomfortable questions to kick this off ??

1. What have I done in 2019 that I am proud of? (Start with your top 3 and continue the list beyond if you want to)
2. What am I grateful for or excited about in 2019? (Start with your top 3 and continue the list beyond if you want to)
3. What obstacles or major changes have I overcome in 2019?
4. What was the most meaningful thing someone did for me in 2019? What was the most meaningful thing I did for someone else?
5. What is most important for me to be acknowledged for in my life so far?

Step 2: What have I learned?

1. Which mistakes have I made in 2019, and what did I learn from them? (Start with your top 3 and continue the list beyond if you want to)
2. What was my single biggest time-waster in 2019? What could I do to decrease it or eliminate it altogether?
3. What piece of wisdom or lesson has become crystal clear?
4. Which one change could I make to my lifestyle that would give me more joy/peace/energy?
5. If I could change one thing from the past year, what would it be and why?

Step 3: What am I willing to let go of?

Often, we carry around stuff that would like to do, like to identify ourselves with or would like to accomplish, but that we did not yet do anything about. These things tend to pop up from time to time, taking up our brain capacity for just a second here and there, but always lurking in the back of our minds. And it can leave us feeling guilty or annoyed that we haven't taken action. Like a bad conscience always rubbing it in our face. This could be unfinished projects, things we "should", resentments, regrets, angers, people that we can't forgive, ideas that we haven't taken action on and so on.

Now could be the time to let go of those things and give yourself the peace of not having to think about it. Ever again. And be okay with that. Like this guy:

1. What am I willing to let go of?
2. What is most important to let go of and why?

Examples:

• Old projects and goals
• Resentments, upsets, angers (towards yourself or others)
• Limiting beliefs or old stories you keep telling yourself (that is not true nor useful)

Step 4: The life wheel

Besides stating the fact, that I am apparently insisting on only using extremely pixelated images, the purpose of the wheel (image below) is to get honest and gain clarity on how you feel in each area of your life by rating each area from 1 (the center) to 10 (outer circle) and thereby getting an overview of where you are at and where you can improve.

It might be a cliché, but it does help to dissect the areas and go in-depth to figure out why we either feel like a rainbow-farting unicorn or is in a down period - and gives clarity on what we might be able to do about it.

?? There are plenty of different versions with different headlines, so feel free to search for "wheel of life" and find one that resonates with you. Print or draw the circle and areas, and give each area a headline.

1. How does my life feel from 1-10 in each area?

Now look at the areas with the lowest scores:

1. Why did I give this area such a low score?
2. What could improve the score? What would a 10 look like?
3. Which small action can I take today to improve it?

When you have done this, you hopefully have clarity of your current situation and can direct the last step towards what matters the most.

Step 5: Coming up: 2020!

1. If there was no chance of failing, what is the one thing I would do in 2020? (a project, business, idea etc.)
2. What are my top 3 most important goals for 2020? Why are these the most important?
3. What would I need to learn/do/experience to get there? What person would I need to become?
4. What would be my ideal career - if I could do anything? (And the title of a job was not linked to social status, self-worth, salery)

Ending note: "Are you happy?"

This is quite an overly simplified question if you ask me, and one that is way too nuanced to give a clear one-word answer to. I just stumbled upon a Ted Talk where the speaker argues that that "happiness" is a short-lived state of mind triggered when something we perceive as positive, happens to us. A promotion, landing that big client you have worked on for months, buying a new house and so on. But just as quickly as the feeling of happiness washes over us, it disappears. Getting replaced by our everyday life where the new becomes the standard and we yet again aim for new things, goals or experiences.

The speaker argues that we should not be looking for happiness, but joy. When we chase happiness, we chase ego-centric things in the illusion that these will make us feel happy, more successful, worthy, or even loved. "When I get this, I will be ____". There is always a focus on the future of achieving, getting and succeeding, and no focus on the present and everything we experience and enjoy already. Many people live this way, putting their energy and priorities towards their exterior visible world in an attempt to find the "happiness" everyone is raving about, by achieving and getting.

Joy, on the other hand, is feeling content when you do something you really enjoy. And it's the feeling of getting so consumed with what you do, the task at hand or a conversation you have that you forget the time, forget to eat, you feel inspired and your inner voice shuts the hell up. For me, this is flow and an almost meditative state where thoughts disappear and I focus solely on the thing I'm doing, and nothing else.

So you could say that happiness is the destination, and joy is the process of getting there.

For me, reaching the state of flow, or joy, has become a goal in itself. I always work towards specific, measurable goals, but I always try to do so in a fashion that lets me enjoy and have fun in the process of getting there. And having been in a place in my life where the destination was more important than the process, I would, at any day, prioritize the process over the destination. The destination is important, but not so much that I'm willing to sacrifice the joy of getting there. For me at least, this is more sustainable and longlasting, and it just so happens to be where I progress most towards my goals.

So on that incredibly long, ending note: Happy New Year and may 2020 be the year you want it to be and so much more (with a ton of surprises thrown in on top!)