2018's Thoughtful Reads List

2018 was full of good reads. Some that I read with colleagues at work, some that I read with family/friends, and some that I pursued on my own. Putting a spin on the “thoughtful gift” framework that many parents I know and respect use, I’m sharing my “thoughtful read” list this year. One I Want(ed to read), one I Need(ed to read), one whose words I Wear (on my sleeves), and one I Read (out loud with others). For each book, I’m sharing a favorite passage. If you haven’t read these and choose to now, I hope you enjoy them as much as I did. Cheers to all that 2019 holds, including more good reads :)

2018 Want(ed to Read)

The book that I’d been really excited to sit down and lose myself in for no other reason than enjoyment:

A Gentleman in Moscow by the evocative and lyric Amor Towles

“Popular upheaval, political turmoil, industrial progress—any combination of these can cause the evolution of a society to leapfrog generations, sweeping aside aspects of the past that might otherwise have lingered for decades. And this must be especially so, when those with newfound power are men who distrust any form of hesitation or nuance, and who prize self-assurance above all. If one has been absent for decades from a place that one once held dear, the wise would generally counsel that one should never return there again.

History abounds with sobering examples: After decades of wandering the seas and overcoming all manner of deadly hazards, Odysseus finally returned to Ithaca, only to leave it again a few years later. Robinson Crusoe, having made it back to England after years of isolation, shortly thereafter set sail for that very same island from which he had so fervently prayed for deliverance.

Why after so many years of longing for home did these sojourners abandon it so shortly upon their return? It is hard to say.

But perhaps for those returning after a long absence, the combination of heartfelt sentiments and the ruthless influence of time can only spawn disappointments. The landscape is not as beautiful as one remembered it. The local cider is not as sweet. Quaint buildings have been restored beyond recognition, while fine old traditions have lapsed to make way for mystifying new entertainments. And having imagined at one time that one resided at the very center of this little universe, one is barely recognized, if recognized at all. Thus do the wise counsel that one should steer far and wide of the old homestead.

But no counsel, however well grounded in history, is suitable for all. Like bottles of wine, two men will differ radically from each other for being born a year apart or on neighboring hills. By way of example, as this traveler stood before the ruins of his old home, he was not overcome by shock, indignation, or despair. Rather, he exhibited the same smile, at once wistful and serene, that he had exhibited upon seeing the overgrown road. For as it turns out, one can revisit the past quite pleasantly, as long as one does so expecting nearly every aspect of it to have changed.”

2018 Need(ed to read)

The book that was on my to I really need read list that I’m extremely glad I actually read:

Inspired: How to Create Products Customers Love- 2nd Edition by the precise and approachable Marty Cagan

“In Products I find it ironic that so many of us in the product world come from science- and business-oriented backgrounds, yet such a large part of what we do every day is really all about emotion and human psychology. Most of us may not think of our job this way, but we should. People buy and use products largely for emotional reasons.

The best marketing people understand this, and the best product people ensure that their products speak to these emotions. In the enterprise space, the dominant emotion is generally fear or greed. If I don’t buy this product, my competitors will beat me to market, hackers will penetrate my firewalls, or my customers will desert me. Or, if I do buy this product, I will make more money, save more money, or stop spending so much money. In the consumer space, the dominant emotions get more personal. If I buy this product or use this Web site, I will make friends (loneliness), find a date (love or lust), win money (greed), or show off my pictures or my taste in music (pride).

You may not have thought about your product or service in these terms before, but if you apply this emotional lens, you can start to view things much more in line with how your users and customers view your service—and potential competitors. Where else can they go to get these needs met? What could be done to the visual design to speak more directly to these emotions? What features can we provide that speak more directly to these emotions? What features get in the way of clearly speaking to these emotions? Keep in mind also that different types of users may bring different emotional needs to the table. An eBay power seller is not the same as a buyer looking for a great bargain, or a buyer looking for the thrill of competing with others to “win” an item.

When you do prototype testing with your target users, after you determine whether or not the test subject can actually figure out how to use the product or service, you should take the opportunity to essentially do a one-on-one focus group to try to learn what emotion is driving this user, and how well your product meets that emotional need. You can hopefully see why user experience design (interaction and visual design) and usability testing play such a key role in coming up with a winning product. Once you have clearly identified and prioritized the dominant buying emotions your customers bring to your product, focus on that emotion and ask yourself where else they might be able to get that need met? That’s your real competition.”

2018 Wear (on my sleeve)

The book that made me most emotional this year (I laughed, I cried, yadda, yadda):

Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give by the brilliant and funny Ada Calhoun

“At weddings, I do not contradict my beaming newlywed friends when they talk about how they will gracefully succeed where nearly everyone in human history has floundered. I only wish I could tell them they will suffer occasionally in this marriage — and not only sitcom-grade squabbles, but possibly even dark-night-of-the-soul despair.

That doesn’t mean they are doomed to divorce, just that it’s unlikely they will be each other’s best friend every single minute forever. And that while it’s good to aim high, it’s quite probable they will let each other down many times in ways both petty and profound that in this blissful moment they can’t even fathom.

But I would go on to say (had I not by that point been thrown out of the banquet hall): Epic failure is part of being human, and it’s definitely part of being married. It’s part of what being alive means, occasionally screwing up in expensive ways. And that’s part of what marriage means, sometimes hating this other person but staying together because you promised you would. And then, days or weeks later, waking up and loving him again, loving him still.”

2018 Read (out loud with others)

The book I discussed most at dinner parties, get togethers, and with strangers at the airport:

Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of Family and Culture in Crisis by the astute and insightful J.D. Vance

“The statistics tell you that kids like me face a grim future—that if they’re lucky, they’ll manage to avoid welfare; and if they’re unlucky, they’ll die of a heroin overdose, as happened to dozens in my small hometown just last year.

I was one of those kids with a grim future. I almost failed out of high school. I nearly gave in to the deep anger and resentment harbored by everyone around me. Today people look at me, at my job and my Ivy League credentials, and assume that I’m some sort of genius, that only a truly extraordinary person could have made it to where I am today. With all due respect to those people, I think that theory is a load of bullshit. Whatever talents I have, I almost squandered until a handful of loving people rescued me.

That is the real story of my life, and that is why I wrote this book. I want people to know what it feels like to nearly give up on yourself and why you might do it. I want people to understand what happens in the lives of the poor and the psychological impact that spiritual and material poverty has on their children. I want people to understand the American Dream as my family and I encountered it. I want people to understand how upward mobility really feels. And I want people to understand something I learned only recently: that for those of us lucky enough to live the American Dream, the demons of the life we left behind continue to chase us.

There is an ethnic component lurking in the background of my story. In our race-conscious society, our vocabulary often extends no further than the color of someone’s skin—“black people,” “Asians,” “white privilege.” Sometimes these broad categories are useful, but to understand my story, you have to delve into the details. I may be white, but I do not identify with the WASPs of the Northeast. Instead, I identify with the millions of working-class white Americans of Scots-Irish descent who have no college degree. To these folks, poverty is the family tradition—their ancestors were day laborers in the Southern slave economy, sharecroppers after that, coal miners after that, and machinists and millworkers during more recent times. Americans call them hillbillies, rednecks, or white trash. I call them neighbors, friends, and family.”