2018 Resolved! A Primer on New Year's Resolutions

New Year’s resolutions are laughable to most people. We all want to lose weight, drink less, save more, learn new skills, and lead better lives. So we make giant resolutions with the novelty of a new year. We start out with passionate excitement; we falter around March or April, and by the time Thanksgiving comes around we forget the resolution we made in the first place.

For the past three years, I have challenged myself to defy the norm of a failed resolution. I wanted resolutions to be a permanent part of my self-development. In 2014, I gave up Facebook for a year to minimize my social media distraction. In 2015, I resolved to train for and finish the Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon in San Francisco. In 2016, I resolved to do 30 days of skiing. I only got to 26 days that year, but to be fair, I did have a search and rescue incident that took me out of commission for a few weeks. Each of these goals were short in term, but lasting in impact. The resolutions changed my behaviors, my behaviors affected my habits, and my new habits make me a better husband, professional, and friend.

In 2017, I made four resolutions. 

a) I resolved to read one book a month; with the help of audiobooks, I ended up reading (or listening) to 22 books. I will write a separate post on this transformation. The depth of thought and perspective I achieved in reading/listening is worth exploring.

b) I resolved to lose 40 lbs. I weighed 200 lbs in Jan 2017. I hadn’t lost a single pound through my family vacation in June of 2017. On the morning before writing this post, I weighed in at 173.9 lbs--a loss of 26.1 lbs. I didn’t achieve my goal weight, and the weight I did lose was painstaking. But I am on the right journey, and I am confident I will achieve my goal in 2018. I will share the methods of success in a later post as well; I believe health and fitness will be the new imperative for corporate professionals in the next generation. Many of the techniques in my success, I learned from the books I read in resolution (a).

c) I resolved to abstain from alcohol between January to July. I made it to my birthday on April 1. But I have managed my relationship with alcohol so that I don’t feel the pressure to drink at each meal or customer dinner. I consider this resolution a success as my behaviors adapted to moderation. Habitual moderation, more so than an actual beverage count, is the ultimate goal in the end. 

d) I resolved to get off my caffeine addiction: No progress made. I’d argue that I had to jettison this goal in order to kick my sugar addiction, imperative for resolution (b).

If you are considering a new years resolution, I’d like to offer some baseline advice having made some major life changes over the past three years.

1. The best resolutions are measurable; they aren’t vague. You must have specific quantifiable goals that require a cadence of activity. General goals like “lose weight” or “limit social media” don’t have the grit to adjust your behavior. Get specific, and unforgiving in the target. Keep in mind that achieving an annual quantifiable goal is only achievable by setting monthly and even daily goals to get there. Find a way to measure your daily progress. Numbers equate to data, and data doesn't lie.
2. Despite needing a quantifiable goal to achieve your resolution, beyond your year, the ultimate goal is moderation. The lasting impact is not a life long measurement of a behavior. That isn't natural or sustainable. The goal of a resolution is to build a new set point for what your body and mind need for normal behavior; a set point that enhances your relationships and lifestyle. The resolution is simply a means to disrupting your set point so you can reset it at a healthier level for the rest of your life.
3. Nietzsche once said, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” This is the most important part of any major undertaking. Before you resolve to do something in 2018, you need to understand to the core of your being why you want to change yourself. That answer rests more than one layer deep. For many, the best question is “who do you want to change for?” Just as you develop the “what” and the “how”, place disproportionate importance on the “why”. When the going gets tough, that “why” will keep you in line. You’ll visualize the people or causes you care about; solidarity will arise from your devotion to them.
4. Failure IS an option: If you pick resolutions that you never break, then you’re not challenging yourself. Only in failure do we discover growth. If you aren’t failing, you aren’t breaking your comfort zones. There is, however, a difference between failing due to apathy, versus failing due to skill set. The former indicates a weak why, the latter indicates a growth mind set and should be applauded. 
5. Don’t keep your goals a secret. Your community is your support group. They will hold you accountable. Share your resolutions with the people in your life; when you begin to slip, their judgement can keep you honest. To that end, I’d like to share with my friends and family my resolutions for 2018: 

In 2018, I have resolved to do the following:

a) I resolve to run 1000 miles. In my weight loss and health goals, I have found running to be a therapeutic addition to my lifestyle. It’s stress relieving, it burns calories, and requires minimal equipment and specialty. 1000 miles of running means about 20 miles per week. For me, that's 6 miles of running (about an hour) 3-4 times a week.

b) I resolve to keep a device-free bedroom (phone, tablets, computer). I have become addicted to early morning and late night digital inputs. Most of us know the feeling...In an REM cycle break, rather than try to go back to sleep we find ourselves clicking the home button on our phones. We check the time, see a notification from a colleague, we’ll open up the device to check email, maybe do a quick scroll through instagram. Check the traffic on the way to the airport for our flight...where am I in the upgrade list? Sleeping away from my phone hopefully means a disconnected night's sleep. I moved all the chargers out of my bedroom. I bought a travel alarm clock for $12. No more Netflix binging before bed; no audio or e-books. I will keep one hardcopy book to read before sleeping...no more excuses for a digitally hindered good night's sleep.

c) I resolve to learn one song a month on my guitar or ukulele. Some of my closer friends know I have enjoyed playing music my entire life. It’s a beautiful and healthy outlet of expression. But recently, I seldom make time to practice or indulge in music. I want to prioritize artistic expression again in my life. My hope is that, in addition to building an outlet for my emotional health, music can help me broaden my intellectual horizons as well. 

So what are your resolutions? To all my friends, I invite you to share your goals with me. Let’s lean on each other for support to get the job done. Best of luck, stay focused, and stay motivated. For the right “why”, there is nothing we cannot accomplish.