2018 Reflections: Sharing My Family's Story

As we enter the new year, many of us find ourselves reflecting on 2018. For me, it was a year full of new experiences, with several exciting life events and important moments shared with family. On a professional level, it was a year of exciting opportunities - connecting with innovative clients who truly care about their people, and partnering with cutting-edge vendors solving difficult problems - all the while connecting both parties together in an effort to find creative strategies to support total employee wellbeing.

For the broader society, it was unfortunately a year of difficult change, a year of unexpected hardships, and a year of extreme life challenges. But it was also a year of advocacy, unlike I believe that we’ve ever seen before. 

These advocates spoke up for better treatment, more support, and improved resources - and not just in their personal lives. At the organizational level, we saw executives speaking up about the importance of mental health, families demanding better parental leave laws, and large corporations challenging a healthcare system that no longer worked for their people – by creating their own.

It was a year in which I was so inspired by the honesty and bravery of people sharing their stories in an effort to bring forth awareness about issues that impact so many of us, yet so few talk about.

In honor of that, and in support for the ongoing advocacy for personal needs, I’m reflecting on 2018 by sharing four of my own experiences this year that impacted myself and those I love. Whether or not these resonate with you, I hope that in sharing such awareness with each other, we will continue to bring change and support, in and outside of the workplace. 

On the Importance of Eldercare & Family Support:

Grandma Turns 90: In January, we traveled to San Diego to celebrate this big milestone of our beloved Grandma Dorothea. Despite her larger than life personality and the wittiest of puns at all times - she's slowing down. She's more lonely at nights. She has tough days. And worst of all - she's far away.

I've seen the toll that finding people to visit her and take her to appointments, navigating her complicated medical bills, and understanding what resources are available in a different city has had on my Mom, who lives over 1,000 miles away in Seattle, Washington.

Why This Topic is Important: My Mom and family is not alone, as a growing numbers of Americans face the immense, and often overwhelming, challenge of caring for an aging parent or other loved one. According to reports, the need to support loved ones will only continue to skyrocket, as 76 million baby boomers move into their 80s and need help coping with dementia, cancer, heart disease or just plain frailty and old age.

"Family caregiving is an issue that affects the vast majority of us. We are either caregivers now, have been in the past, will be in the future or will need care ourselves," said AARP Chief Advocacy and Engagement Officer Nancy LeaMond in Washington, D.C. "Of today's 40 million family caregivers, 24 million are juggling caregiving responsibilities and employment. By recognizing and supporting their needs, employers can improve productivity and foster a stable and healthy workforce."

On the Importance of Parental Leave & Infant Medical Bills:

Our Family Welcomes Jaxon Wayne Markley

In March, my little brother and his wonderful wife welcomed their first son, Jaxon, into the family. The little fighter came into the world early, and spent a week (what felt like a lifetime) in the NICU.

My brother (who had just served the last four years in the United States Army, for perspective) still speaks of it as "the most terrifying days and hours of my life".

While Jaxon, is now a perfectly healthy, and hilariously chubby, baby - the toll that this unexpected stay took on his parents, mentally and financially, was beyond what the majority of people can ever prepare for.

Why This Topic is Important: Over the past 25 years, preterm births have increased more than 35 percent. Today, about one preterm infant is born every minute in the United States. The average price of a natural delivery in the U.S. is $32,093 before insurance; that amount is about $10,808 after insurance negotiations. For a Cesarean section, it’s an average cost of $51,125, prior to insurance contribution. Having a baby in the U.S. costs more than in any other country, and many patients are unaware of the complete cost of delivery and care until weeks afterward.

America lags far behind other countries—in fact it’s the only industrialized nation that provides no paid family leave—in supporting families with parental leave policies. The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) is currently the only federal provision in place. It provides up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave within a single year to companies with more than 50 employees. But, in order to be eligible, those employees have to have been working with the company for 12 months or more. Four states (California, New Jersey, Rhode Island, and New York) require employers to provide some amount of paid leave, and San Francisco is the only city that actually mandates fully paid parental leave. This leaves only 12 percent of Americans with access to paid parental leave.

Looking for inspiration to change this? Here are 15 Companies With The Best Parental Leave Policies,

On the Importance of Community & Natural Disasters:

The Northern California Fires

In July, we got a call from my husband's mother that the Carr Fire in Redding, CA, his hometown, was spreading rapidly and they were ordering the evacuations throughout the community. Belongings were quickly packed up, and his family, like thousands of others, spent a very scary few days waiting for firefighter crews to get the fire under control and to learn the fate of their homes. While his mother's house was thankfully sparred in the end - neighbors, friends, and countless others lost everything.The Carr Fire, which killed eight people and destroyed more than 1,000 homes, is the seventh most destructive fire in California history.

Why This Topic is Important: The 2018 wildfire season went on to be the deadliest and most destructive wildfire season on record in California, with a total of 8,527 fires burning an area of almost a million acres, the largest amount of burned acreage recorded in a fire season, according to the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (Cal Fire) and the National Interagency Fire Center (NIFC), as of December 21.The fires have caused more than $3.5 billion in damage.

The good news? Organization began to take on relief efforts as their own responsibility - they pulled together, got creative, and made a difference. Tech companies — including Airbnb, Google, Facebook and Microsoft — devoted resources and provdied digital tools to assist first responders and people affected by the ongoing wildfires - offering homes to those displaced by the fire, updating crisis maps to find loved ones, and matching Facebook donations.

On the Importance of Family & Mental Health:

Celebrating Our Marriage & Disconnecting:

In November, we got married! We had a beautiful ceremony in St Helena, CA, and quickly jetted off to Chile and Patagonia.

In the months leading up to our big day, it wasn't what I would call a walk in the park. As someone not exactly known for "disconnecting", the stress leading up to this series of events - planning every detail of a wedding and international vacation, all while staying on top of work during our busiest time of the year with Open Enrollment Season (whose idea was that??), took a big toll on my mental health. I was tired, found myself extremely pre-occupied with worries, and flat out needed a break.

And, thankfully to the wonderful culture that has been built at my company, I got it. My husband and I both did. The moment that Out-of-Office went on with my "with no access to email or phone for the next two weeks" (not partial, not limited, not periodic... NO access -- have I ever written that??), my team and colleagues stepped up big time to enable me to enjoy my honeymoon completely care care. Not having service in a foreign country, being out in the fresh air of Patagonia each day, and getting to spend one-on-one time with my new husband was more than I could have asked for, and allowed me to end my 2018 with a new, refreshed state of mind, ready to take on the challenges of 2019.

Why This Topic is Important: We all go through life events, whether it be marriage, birth of a child, loss of a loved one, or buying a home. The mental stress surrounding such events takes a toll on even the strongest of people, and unfortunately, juggling them while pre-occupied with work and technology doesn't help. Here' some scary statistics:

• 84% of cell phone users claim they could not go a single day without their device.
• 67% of cell phone owners check their phone for messages, alerts, or calls — even when they don’t notice their phone ringing or vibrating.
• Studies indicate some mobile device owners check their devices every 6.5 minutes.

Even when we're trying to take a break away from technology and the office, we're not. Despite unlimited time off vacation policies, robust leave of absence offerings, or attempted one-off breaks from the office, recent studies found 70% of respondents ages 18 to 34 said they would maintain some contact with work while away from the office, compared to only 39% of those ages 55 and older. And while 52% of women surveyed said they would not check in with the office at all while on holiday, only 34% of men said the same.

How Workplaces Can Help Support Employees Better in 2019:

• Create a Culture in Which Employees Can Take the Time They Need to Recharge, Repair, and Refuel: Whether it be taking off a few hours for a therapy appointment, an overdue vacation, or a weekend to deal with a family emergency, make employees aware of your policies, and even more important - make sure managers show clear support for the mental health needs of their employees.
• Get Involved in Your Community: While the fires discussed above may be over, natural disasters, shootings and attacks, and other unexpected tragedies are unfortunately likely to continue to impact our nation. Have a plan or appointed teammates in place to enable your company to respond quickly to impacted employees and their families with necessary resources and tools, support systems, and fundraisers. Get involved in local organization to keep abreast on any new ways to help both prevent and support these causes.
• Continue the Advocacy: Read articles, view statistics, share your personal story and your voice surrounding the topics that matter. The more awareness that is brought the topics that impact your coworkers, friends, and families, day in and out, the better we can live, cope, survive, and flourish.

I hope you all have a very happy New Year, and continue to share your own stories in 2019 - it matters!