2017 Mentor of the Year Musings

Preamble: I was honoured last week to receive the 2017 Women in Industry ‘Mentor of the Year’ Award. To be acknowledged with this award for doing what I love and enjoy was simply amazing. So now I must give thanks in return: to those I have mentored, I sincerely offer my thanks. You allowed me the privilege of getting to know you and the opportunity to impact your work and/or life. The magic of being a mentor is the people we meet and what we receive from them in return.

Many people disregard the role mentoring can play to workplace success. Success in any role is a combination of many factors, from your skill set and knowledge, to business acumen and how you engage and build rapport with stakeholders. One area that can also assist with achieving goals, and one that I know works first-hand, is to have a mentor.

A great quote that resonates deeply with me is by a gentlemen names Jackie Robinson – the man who broke the colour barrier in baseball: “Our lives are unimportant, except for the influence we have on others.” Whether it be teaching, coaching, mentoring or providing friendly advice, this is certainly one of the greatest joys I have had in my career to date – the ability to enrich and make a difference to peoples’ lives. And one of the greatest gifts I can receive in turn is to be provided the same by another.

Throughout my career, I’ve built my own advisory board, or what I refer to as ‘my tribe’. Whether it is a personal or professionally centred topic, I have ensured that I have had a group of go-to advisors that are able to help me move forward. Sometimes, this is as simple as bouncing my ideas back-and-forth with these leaders so that I can see a clearer picture of what I may not have comprehended previously. Other times, it is getting encouragement and advice on how to take my next steps. This is the benefit of having a mentor: a good mentor can help you be your best self.

In partnership with some amazing women, I founded and now Chair an organisation that aims to empower and advance women, and I belong to a number of already existing programmes that hold similar aims. I invest a lot of time and energy into these programmes because it serves a purpose that I truly believe in: the idea that mentorship matters in helping to nurture and assist rising young adults. My goal is simple: to expose the younger generations to fields that they would not normally be aware of and to ensure they can be the biggest and the best version of themselves.

But what is mentoring?

A mentor is someone who has the experience or knowledge you seek, and can help in your current role or assist with future opportunities. Normally, the mentor is also someone you respect and who holds a position you aspire to, or is in field you seek to enter, but it can also be someone that you admire for how they conduct their job, and balance it with family life. A mentor’s role is to share ideas and guide you through daily workplace issues.

When I mentor anyone today, I try to highlight the strengths I see, strengths that they may not see in themselves. A mentor who inspires self-confidence can help another achieve heights that they never dreamed possible.

But, a mentor must always be honest and authentic, which can mean expressing a truth that the mentee might prefer not to hear. I strive to be as truthful and real as possible. I have found that feedback, if shared with sincerity, will often be embraced and valued.

What advice would I give to mentees?

§ Don’t be shy! Successful people are generally pleased to be asked to share their knowledge and expertise so seek mentors. As they say, ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get’!

§ Look in different places for mentors. Not all good or appropriate mentors will be available within your organisation. The key is to find someone who can provide perspective and guidance on areas that matter most to you.

§ Be prepared. Always contact a prospective mentor in writing first so you don’t put them on the spot, and ensure you explain what kind of advice you’re looking for. Outlining your plan to a mentor is important – this helps you both work towards common ground and also sets clear guidelines and expectations on the role each of you will play in the relationship. It is also helpful to set scheduled meetings, if possible.

§ Choose wisely and well. You can have more than one mentor. Different times in your career may call for different mentoring relationships. Or your multiple goals may require seeking a mentor to guide you with each.

§ Be receptive. You’ve chosen your mentor because they have knowledge and experience. This means, listen to their advice. Build a relationship of trust and openness. Listen to what they have to say, and be open to suggestions – even constructive criticism. Having an open line of communication will be advantageous to you both.

§ Be considerate. Too many calls or too-frequent requests for assistance or advice could be tiring to mentors. If you have to, build up a list of questions for the next time you meet and ensure questions are grouped into discussion topics.

§ Be willing to share in return. Mentor others who may want to learn from your experience or draw on your expertise.

§ Express appreciation. When the mentor/mentee relationship has come to an end, ensure you thank the mentor for their time, attention and advice – and do this in writing via a letter. Thanking those in your network for their contribution towards your professional growth is always an appropriate business practice, and it can go a long way. In saying this, one of the best ways to show your appreciation for mentoring is to choose to become a mentor yourself!

What is my advice for mentors?

§ Align expectations. Make sure that the mentee understands their role and your role, including the dedication of time required by each party. Ensure the mentee is dedicated to the time you will spend on them and make sure you have the capabilities and experience the mentee seeks.

§ Be realistic. The worst thing you can do is overcommit yourself so ensure you don’t promise too much time to mentees or take on too many mentees at once. If you are too busy to deliver, you will feel pressured and will not provide your best ‘work’ and the mentee may feel disappointed and/or dissatisfied.

§ Practice good communication techniques. Mentees must be given the opportunity to learn from their mistakes so try not to intervene too quickly. Try not to take sides when discussing a conflict which involves the mentee and instead, prompt them to think through the problem with the use of open questions. Let your mentees know that you are always available for further occasional consultation if required.

§ Be gracious. Mentees will feel the need to stroke your ego and pay regular compliments. Take the compliments on board, but do not let them detract from your role in the mentor/mentee relationship.

§ Know when to let go. At some point you’ll need to move on and mentor others. Your mentees’ priorities will also shift, and they may need to seek guidance from other people.

Be aware that your mentor is your confidant who gives you direction and options; however, at the end of the day, YOU have to make your own choices. Your mentor isn’t there to tell you whether you have to go into this direction or that direction. You need guidance and that guidance will only help you down the path you choose to take.

Penelope is a motivational and technical speaker, CEO, Chairwoman, author and Ambassador. Penelope uses her expertise in her fields and personal experiences as a road map to empower people and help them find their strengths, pursue their dreams and create success.