Networks: It’s All In The Way That You Use It

If I imagined “networking” was a topic which audiences had heard quite enough of, I have once again been proven wrong. On Friday I was the keynote speaker for the Morris County Chamber of Commerce at a luncheon organized by their Women In Business (“WIB”) Committee. The ballroom at The Westin was filled to capacity: the topic of networking had attracted the largest turnout for a WIB event, ever. And before this audience of CEOs, executives, business owners, managers and consultants I made a networking confession:

I hate walking into rooms filled with strangers

and I am deeply suspicious of anyone who says they really enjoy it….if you really, I mean really enjoy it, then you’re likely a fine-tuned heat-seeking sales machine and I’d rather navigate the scent spritzing gauntlet of the perfume department at Saks than be cornered by you at a networking event.

I didn’t set out to be a “networker” or “connector” – titles which I have been anointed with by others who have observed the unfolding of my career. “Master Networker” only with the benefit of experience and reflection. Each career move and opportunity for me (particularly since moving to New York City in 1998) has come about as a result of a connection - that is, as a result of a real, human connection aka personal relationship versus the random acts of strangers or help wanted ads. And it is only with the benefit of hindsight that I can observe how the networking patterns unfolded and strategize on how to enhance not only my personal relationships but also future networking outcomes.

So what were the networking pearls of wisdom I shared with the WIB luncheon attendees? You could say the theme of my remarks were taken from Eric Clapton’s 1986 hit “It’s In The Way That You Use It”. After my “I hate networking” confession, I asked the 220+ attendees this question:

Does anyone know who William Dawes is?

One person raised her hand.

I continued with a follow-up question: does anyone know who Paul Revere is?

Every hand in the room was raised.

Two men rode out on the evening of April 18, 1775 to spread a message, and we only really remember one of those two men because he understood how to activate his network, quickly and effectively - and changed the course of history with the help of his network. Dawes and Revere were from comparable social circles, so the imbalance in their results from undertaking the same networking task cannot be attributed to education or wealth or influence or profession – it can however, be attributed to an understanding by Revere of how to use his network.

In 2001/2002 I needed to start purposely building a new, professional network. I say purposely building as I was looking to change careers (from corporate attorney into attorney training and development) at a time when my skills were not valued in my new, chosen profession. I can honestly say my skills were “not valued” as I had talked to recruiters who were actively filling the types of roles I desired. As I had no skills (aka I had not done this particular job before) the recruiters could not consider placing me in a role or even sending me on an interview. Time to turn to Plan B:

1. build a network of connections in professional development (both people in law firms with hiring authority as well as those who had gained the trust of the people with hiring authority),
2. network my butt off (so that these people knew me, understood my capabilities and kept me top of mind when positions open up), and
3. tap into this new network regularly (create a two way information flow of thought leadership, insights and opportunity).

Plan B produced the desired result. I landed the newly expanded role of Manager of Professional Development at White & Case as a result of my new network. I was the only candidate the firm interviewed. I came highly recommended. I knew all the issues having attended the conferences and networked with my professional peers at competitor firms. I’d never done the job before or had any “experience” however I overcame that through my networking efforts. And it was an effort! A tremendous 18-month effort to purposefully build, activate and engage a new professional network.

But the networking was not done just because I had landed the job.

For my next networking trick was to network within the firm – the New York office, national as well as global offices (all the while continuing to grow and engage my external network). The internal network was vital: I was in a role with big responsibilities and limited resources (and yes, for once, I’m being f’g polite). Here was my challenge: How do you execute on an ambitious mandate to build a world-class training program for associate attorneys when you have no budget or really no “staff”? Answer: You network your butt off getting to know your peers in other departments (marketing, paralegals, finance, HR, recruiting) plus other offices and hope to hell you can find a common bond and mutual professional self-interest for them to help you out on your bold mission. And you thank your lucky stars that the part-time legal assistant who has been assigned to you is crazy and dedicated enough to stick with you. And you keep doing this networking tango for 4+ years until you finally have adequate staffing and annual budget then hit the glass ceiling, leaving you with two options: (a) turn to your external network to move into that next professional development position or (b) turn to your internal network to expand into a new function. The internal network reacted first, so I leapt into marketing where I was handed a big, audacious mandate to build a world-class alumni relations program and once again found myself with no staff or budget….but this time I had a mature internal network, some pretty good networking insights including an understanding of how to use my network, so I could take on this role with some confidence of career success.

So how are the ways to use a network? Here are the four tips I shared with the WIB luncheon attendees:

• Stop Googling
• Remember it is always about PEOPLE
• Network for the opportunity you want
• Embrace Disco

Stop Googling. We live in a world of instantaneous expectations. Immediacy of results takes precedence over curiosity, inquiry and consideration. If we could all stop googling our friends, contacts and connections with every inquiry (“Hey, does anyone know a real estate lawyer in Baton Rouge?”), hit the pause button to consider our networks for a moment, as in all likelihood by doing so we’d come up with the right door(s) to knock on to get the desired outcome (like Paul Revere).

My three P’s of networking are: People. People. People. No, it’s not about the platform (or association, organization, group or event)! Networking is always about the people – who they are, how they engage, how they want to be engaged, how they cluster – and until you truly internalize that (People! People! People!) your networking efforts won’t be effective.

Networking for the opportunity you want falls along the same lines as the sage career advice of dressing for the job you want. You are in control of your presence, visibility and persona (dare I say it, your “brand”) and if you’re networking for that next role or opportunity keep that next desired next role or opportunity top of mind in every networking encounter. As I said to the WIB attendees, I consider all of these “things” networking opportunities:

• An email signature line
• Email vacation/out-of-office autoresponder
• Voicemail
• Website bio
• LinkedIn profile
• The headshot on your social media profile (or website)
• The bio you provide for a speaking engagement, or award or appointment

How you present yourself in any of these networking encounters is as important as your handshake or finely practiced elevator pitch introduction.

Now, what does disco have to do with networking? No, I can assure you it has nothing to do with Studio 54 or sequined spandex but it does have something to do with ABBA. Members of the Morris County Chamber of Commerce, like similar professional associations, organizations and groups are looking for business connections and referrals. Instead of focusing on referrals, I suggested that they find collaborators, just like the Dancing Queens did. The Dancing Queens are a tight cohort of women attorneys (5 or 6 in total) who are in complimentary practice areas at competitor firms. The Dancing Queens met a women’s offsite organized by a mutual corporate client/industry contact. Realizing they had professional synergies and could do more for their individual success by collaborating, the Dancing Queens created a niche networking cluster for the sole purpose of helping each other get more business (or negotiate a higher salary or book deal etc.). The deal was sealed on the dance floor to the tune of ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”.