Should I Quit, or Wait to Get Fired?

Dear Liz,

I'm in a bad situation at work. I'm 28, and this is my fourth job. This job looked like a step up from my last position as an IT tech. I'm the only IT person for a consulting firm. I was hired to run the network, provide user support and training and write applications.

I've been here for seven months and it's not a good fit. I don't think anyone could do this job. The CEO of the firm hates technology. His assistant prints out his email messages and hands them to him to read. He tells her what to write back.

My co-workers download crazy stuff from wherever and expect me to support all of it. There is no rhyme or reason to hardware or software standards. It's a free-for-all.

The 'custom applications' they wanted me to build are unnecessary because there are off-the-shelf solutions that I could install in seconds. My boss is the Director of Administration in our company.

She could not be less interested in me or my role. She's had two meetings with me in seven months, and I had to practically beg for those.

When I suggested buying two standard applications for the staff she said "I didn't realize you were coming on board to get me to spend money." The total cost for the two programs was four hundred dollars.

Last week my boss talked to me to 'express her disappointment' in me. She basically told me that they're thinking about firing me. It was awkward as hell.

I work ten or eleven hours per day and I'm on call on the weekends without compensation. I don't want to quit without having a job lined up but I don't want to go through the indignity of being fired. I don't see a good resolution.

If I get fired, I'm sure these people will fight my unemployment claim but if I quit, I can forget any chance at getting unemployment, right? I don't want a bad reference. I'm not sure how to proceed. I've never had less than an outstanding performance review at any past job, and now I'm looking at getting fired!

This is all new territory, and it's keeping me up at night. Thanks in advance for your help, Liz!

Best,

Jake

Dear Jake,

Don't worry -- the same thing has happened to tons of people, and they laugh about it now. In the moment it feels horrible. You know you're a good employee. Your job now is to focus on getting out of that place and keeping your mojo level high.

Keep breathing! This is just an awkward, unpleasant and totally unfair step on your path, but it'll all be behind you soon.

You can see the handwriting on the wall. Take control of the situation and go see your manager again. Here's what you say:

"Jane, thanks for chatting with me last week. I can see that it isn't a great fit between me and this job, and those things happen. I'd like to make this transition as easy for you as possible. I'd like to start looking for a new job right away, and keep working hard here until I find a new job or until or six weeks pass - whichever comes first. I can help you hire my replacement if you like.

"I can handle the technical side of screening resumes. You'll get a great new employee who's closer to your needs than I am. (Grit your teeth and keep smiling through this part!). I'll get into a new job and we'll all sail past this unpleasantness. What do you think of this plan?"

Your boss doesn't want to go through the stress of firing you. That's good to know! You can save her that distress. You can start a job search now and bail on this joint by the new year. Even if you take a contract gig, you'll have an income and get out of the pressure cooker you're in now.

We call this approach -- "How 'bout I start looking for a new job, and we agree on a date to part ways?" the Third Path. The first path is to quit and the second path is to get fired. The Third Path treats everyone in the mix like an adult.

If your boss doesn't go for your plan and insists on firing you, you go straight to the unemployment office. Let her fight your unemployment claim. You'll win, because your boss can't show any misconduct. But unemployment doesn't pay much. I'd start a new job search this week, Jake, because you're going to need a new job either way.

You will bounce back from this situation and be stronger for it, because you'll recognize an unsuitable position the next time you see it. It is very hard for many people in the business world to say "We made a mistake -- how can we make it right?"

They have to stick to the traditional frame, I'm the Boss and Therefore If Somebody Screwed Up, It Wasn't Me. They have to come from fear. It is sad, but it's okay because are on your path. Up and outta there, Jake! There are better things waiting for you.

We can feel sorry for people like your boss and the CEO who can't handle email, but we don't have to waste any more time with them. Off you go!

You are young and your amazing journey is just beginning. Get these folks in your rear view mirror as fast as you can and be clear about what you want in your next job.

Before you send out a resume, decide what you want and need in your next assignment. Only the people who get you deserve you, Jake!

Best,

Liz