How Going Viral Changes The Way You See The World

When LinkedIn challenged us today to write about our most memorable 2014 moments (see #My2014Moments), I stopped to ask myself this question, “Of all the things that happened this year in my life and work, what is the most memorable event that changed the way I see things?” What popped into my mind was the experience of being a relatively new writer and going viral, first on Forbes, then on LinkedIn.

The posts that went viral and changed things for me were these:

7 Crippling Parenting Behaviors That Keep Children From Growing Into Leaders (Forbes.com, 6.4 million views)

6 Toxic Behaviors That Push People Away: How To Recognize Them In Yourself and Change Them (LinkedIn, 2.8 million views)

The Top 5 Things You Should Never Do At Work (LinkedIn, 1.4 million views)

Successful People - The 8 Self-Limiting Behaviors They Avoid (Forbes.com, 386,000 views)

People have asked me, “How’d that happen, Kathy? What specifically do you think made these posts explode on social media, and attract so many readers?” After writing almost full-time since September 2011, I have my hunches about what makes a piece of writing work. But as hard as I’ve tried, I can’t arrive at a fixed formula that guarantees it will reach millions. There is, however, a particular “energy” to very popular stories and articles -- an authentic rawness, an emotional punch, a realness, a crazy, unique way of seeing the world, that allows the words to reach deep inside of us, and grab hold (or slap us across the face).

Going viral has changed how I see the world too, and how I operate in it, in a number of key ways, and these shifts make me even more excited to devote my time to writing.

The five critical ways it’s changed what I know about the world and people in it:

1. People are so ready and eager to look more deeply at themselves, if you create a safe, accessible way for them to do it.

As a career coach for women, I thought I knew a lot about people and life change. But The 6 Toxic Behaviors post floored me, because in it, I’m asking people to look hard at themselves and identify how they’re being toxic. Who would have guessed THAT would be a popular request? But this post revealed to me a surprising fact – that millions of us are keenly aware of when we’re behaving badly, and the pain it causes. And most of us desperately want to change that. We just need a safe and simple way to begin to shift ourselves out of toxicity, and toward positivity.

2. Serving as an expert (or acting like one) can be a real turn-off, if you can’t be open, candid and real about your own flaws.

Every post of mine that’s reached a huge audience has shared some raw (and not pretty) truth about my own behavior. It’s clear that, as writers, if we stay aloof and disconnected to what we’re sharing – as if we’re a know-it-all – we can be a complete turn-off. Nobody likes to listen to someone who thinks they’re all it. And this aloofness will mean we won’t be able to connect in the way we want to with readers.

3. Millions of people have important messages they are desperate to share (and that we can all learn from).

I realized too after hearing from hundreds of would-be writers (and professional ones), and in reading the stories and articles on this platform, that millions of us have messages we’re longing to get out there. These platforms allow us all to be messengers – to share our unique slice of life and our worldviews, hopefully to be of service to others. Spend a day on this platform, and you’ll see an amazing abundance of talent, giftedness and richness in the world, if you’re open to seeing and learning from it.

4. Great writing is about one thing only – giving.

Writers, coaches, experts and thought leaders have reached out to me, asking how they can “go viral.” I’ve seen that if you’re writing from a perspective of “what it will do for me,” you’re just not going to get there. Great writing doesn’t come from the motivation of making money and getting business. It comes from the great need to give. If you’re doing it solely so you can build your reputation or your business, expand your media platform, get more clients and make more money, readers can tell. It all just smacks of promotion. With that motivation, you won’t become the writer people want to follow. (BTW, I learned this only after years of doing it wrong.)

5. Sharing your thoughts in a big way requires grit, courage, and powerfully-protective boundaries.

The reality is that great writing, and sharing messages about what matters to you most in the world, brings great friends AND huge detractors. Going viral has shown me that putting your messages out there in the world in a big way requires an immense amount of courage, tenacity, self-confidence and very strong boundaries. I like to say in my coaching work that as you spread your wings, you’ll inevitably bump into more stuff in the world and create some big waves. Often, that “stuff” comes in the form of people who absolutely hate what you say and what you stand for (and that’s really hard to stomach sometimes). There are times I have to pull away from my desk and go take a walk, just to slough off the hate.

If you want to write and reach a large audience you’ve got to:

• Find your authentic voice (and you do that through hundreds of hours of writing).
• Know yourself down to your toes, and understand what you really think and believe (not what you think you should believe).
• Select each and every word you use in your writing with the greatest of care, because: 1) that's what makes your writing better, and 2) if you don't, people will jump on any word or phrase that you didn’t articulate well, and have a field day with it.
• Be extremely comfortable with people hating what you say

When you can do that, and when you come from a place of wanting to share your messages to be of help (and connect with others who have that motivation too), you’ll start seeing the world differently.

Check out other writers' most memorable 2014 posts (see hashtag #My2014moments). And share below YOUR post about the most memorable learning experience you had in 2014. I'd love to read it.

(For more about building a rewarding and satisfying career, visit kathycaprino.com and take my 6-day Amazing Career Challenge!)