Ever Content, Never Satisfied

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” – Lao Tzu

I have a very close friend who’s an example to me in a lot of ways, and we talk a lot. He’s recently begun a new venture and is doing quite well. That’s an understatement. He is kicking major butt, and I’m really proud of him. He told me the other day that he is now making double what he did in his last job. He’s leading his office, and is number 14 on the national leaderboard for the Fortune 500 company he works for.

We celebrated that victory for a little while and I congratulated him on a job well done. Then he told me about his next goal – “There’s no reason I can’t be number one in the country! All I have to do is sell 3 [widgets] a day, 5 days a week, and I’ll easily be number one in the country and making over $1MM a year!”

Well, that certainly sounds exciting.

I asked how his wife felt about that, and a little air left his balloon. “She’s a little frustrated and doesn’t understand. She thinks I’ll be working too much and says we don’t need to make that sort of money.” He then told me his plan for getting to his goal while not working any more than he is now. It was pretty aggressive stuff.

My friend has some pretty high aspirations professionally, and that’s great - It’s important to set your sights high. My alarms really started to go off when he talked about how upset he was with his last paycheck. In the two-week period he had made more than he had in most months at his previous gig. He was mad that it wasn’t much more. He has a problem. He’s not content.

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.” -Socrates

That’s so true. So how do we strike a balance between our healthy goals and our happiness (or the happiness of those we love)? We become ever content, never satisfied. Maybe I’ll write about not being satisfied in another post. For now, I want to express my thoughts and experiences about being content.

Becoming content

There are a few things we can do to become more content. This is of course not an exhaustive list. Here are some of the ways I stay content with where I am:

Take a minute to enjoy the view

I used to do some hiking. One of my favorite things to do was to pause at a rest point, turn around, and survey how far I’d come. I would breathe in deep and congratulate myself in getting to this point before grabbing some water and beef jerky, and heading onward.

Life is full of peaks and valleys. It’s important to celebrate and take joy in your successes, no matter how small. While you’re enjoying the view, think about where you started. I personally started as a kid emptying trash from the offices of salespeople at the local Ford dealership. I got paid $3 a day, and I had to ride my bike 2 miles to get there. As a nine year old kid I didn’t think much of it – I got to buy basketball cards every week!

I think back on that and smile. It was super gross – some dude’s tobacco spit dribbled on your hands will make you dry heave, I promise! But I learned the value of consistently showing up and putting in the time. I learned some humility.

Plan to Pay it forward

Tony Robbins tells of a Thanksgiving when he was just a small boy when they didn’t have anything to eat. His father taught him that nobody cares about strangers. Then someone they didn’t know brought them a Thanksgiving dinner out of the kindness of their heart. It was a complete surprise for their family.

Tony says that this moment changed his life, and he embarked on a journey to pay that forward. He’s been feeding families for years, and this year he will feed 50,000,000 people. He is always stretching himself to get to the next level, but he is so excited with where he is now because he gives.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I pay a 10% tithing to my local congregation. And when I can I also donate a generous offering to the poor and hungry. I’ve been on the receiving end of this charity more than once – that motivates me to give.

Give Spontaneously

My family and I were driving through Las Vegas not too long ago and decided to drive through a McDonalds. As we pulled up to the drive through a man approached my window to ask if we had any money to spare. Being a protective father (with a tendency of being selfish), I waved him on.

My sweet wife Becki confronted me with the $20 bill I had in the cupholder. “But that’s for the toll roads!” I retorted. Thinking that was the end of it, I ordered our food and pulled up to the window. She was apparently pretty hungry, because she ordered a Big Mac and super-sized it. That was odd, but not as odd as when she insisted that it be put in a separate bag. Very strange, but I didn’t think much of it (I’m a little dense, too). You probably already know where I’m going with this.

When we were handed our food, she told me to drive around front and let her out. She walked up to the man and offered him and his companion the meal. He took it very gratefully and blessed her for it. I’m pretty humbled by the caliber of person I married. It was a lesson for our kids and me. I often travel with cash in my pockets now, in case I run across an opportunity to give.

Become "OK" With Me

Not me, you. Yourself. I was talking to a colleague earlier this afternoon. He's a bit of a philosopher. I respect the heck out of him. He told me that part of happiness is to get up and look in the mirror and be ok with the guy looking back at you. That's really true.

It's not about having external beauty. It's about living in such a way that you can stand to look at yourself. You can be proud of your track record. When you have no skeletons in the closet waiting for someone to discover them, you can be "OK" with you. Live a life of integrity and you will always be able to stand with your head high in any audience.

I would love to hear your thoughts on becoming content.

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Steve Underwood is a technology sales professional with 13 years of experience. He is currently focusing on large account acquisitions for AtTask, Inc, and is based in sunny San Diego, CA.