My Indebatable Hope for All Dudes

This is a freestyle / stream of consciousness post I'm writing on my way back from Las Vegas, where I traveled to see the best band in the land, which happens to be my favorite band, and to hang out with one of my favorite friends. I apologize in advance of both my writing and your reading for both (a) offending you, and (b) apologizing before I even know what I'm planning to write as I'm making it ethically conflicting for you to accept my apology given you know it's not sincere as I don't even know what I'm apologizing for. And with that ... off I go.

May you love a band so much you will drop everything to travel to a show. And have a wife who understands.

May you date your wife (or husband though I did just read that many people who live in Ohio don't seem to like the idea of men marrying other men) as if she's yours to lose. And never stop treating her like she's still making a decision to spend the rest of your life with you. If I were writing this in the popular "Fortune Cookie" style, I would have finished the last sentence with "in bed."

May you two create a child who tells you you're a good dad. And not just in an attempt to get something she wants.

May you prioritize your relationships in the following order (after, of course, making sure your physical and mental health are in order): your wife, your kids, your closest friends who you consider family, the rest of your biological family, your closest friends who you don't consider family and then bucket everyone else in "Other." And remove all people (though each person often shares all these qualities) who are toxic, take more than they give, make you feel like a bad person, aren't genuinely happy for your achievements, however big or small, or compassionate about your failures, unless, of course, they can score you prime seats to see your favorite band or make you look cooler than you actually are.

May you treat all women as equals, and the most important ones in your life as superiors as they do all the shit in your life that you don't even know about since you've taken it all for granted since the 21st day after your honeymoon (it takes 21 days, I'm told, for new habits to form). And go out of your way to do your part to make life easier and better for them. And if you don't know what I'm talking about here, you need help and may want to start with this advice from a divorced man riddled with regrets.

May you do meaningful work that combines your passions skills and values for its at the intersection of what you love, what you're good at and what will support the life you want where the real magic happens. And may you live wishing each day would slow down rather than speed up.

May you believe in something bigger than yourself. And never stop believing despite what the cool kids or your parents or Joel Osteen says.

May you write down 5 really big, hairy dreams, 2 of which must truly scary you. And have at least one turn into a reality before you die.

May you spend more time managing your health than your finances. And not just after your first heart attack in your 50s.

May you be present. And not just when you need/want something.

May you learn to value experiences more than stuff. Stuff gets thrown away when you move. And the rest is tossed a week or two after you die. I doubt my great grandchildren will care much about Black Smurf or Skeleton Gummy man or Stubborn Iccarus. It matters not what Odysseus had (the AMG, C-Class or M-Class ship?). But generations have loved sharing that time he almost died chasing hot women (the sirens) or that time he cheated death by blinding the Cyclops or that time a crossed-dressed Hermes (no joke, she was dressed as a man) gave him the magical herb moli, which ended up protecting him from the harmful spells of a lady friend. (Pretty sure I saw the same happen between sets on Saturday night.) Live your own Odyssey, rich with stories large and small to be told among friends and family for years to come. Or just do what most Americans do ... buy a Honda Odyssey. Whatever. Your choice.

May you overcome your biggest fears. And never let them do what they always do ... lead you to decisions that are not in your best interest.

May you your life be filled with more words that start with "fore" - forevers and forests, more clear forecasts than foreboding ones, forecaddies to help with the lost balls of life as we all have shots that just get away from us, foresights that forward you to the future faster and, of course, plenty of foreplay, however you choose to define it. And it goes with out saying, stay away from foreclosure, provided that it's even foreseeable. And the sooner you cut off the foreskin, the better. Trust me.

May you take risks. And reap and enjoy and share the profits of those risks.

May you make mistakes. And apologize when you realize the horror of what you have done to the people who were hurt the most.

May you choose happiness. And always realize it's a choice. Not a condition that you contract from others. You are responsible for your own happiness. No one can create it for you. And no one can take it away. It's a choice. You either choose it. Or you cede it to others. And I have found that "others" rarely choose my happiness over their own. Don't believe me? Read this book, one of my favorites that I was reacquainted with recently thanks to my friend Adam Braun.

Speaking of books, may you spend less time reading. And more time doing. Less time reporting and more time creating. Less time on the bench and more time in the game. Less time gossiping and more time debating substance. Less time regretting and more time hustling. Less time talking and more time listening. Less time obliviously oblivious and ignorantly ignorant and more time connecting. Less time looking down and more time looking up. Less time thinking of you and more time thinking of us or them. Less time seated and more time standing. Less time silent and more time standing up for others. Less time withholding and more time sharing. Less time alleging and accusing and more time applauding and complimenting.

May you remember that you are unique ... but never alone. And embrace the weird in others as if it's your own. And that guy over there who seems so normal ... he has the weirdest fucking thoughts ever and is miserable trying to hide his weirdness.

May you die sometime after year 80 ... quickly, painlessly, with no regrets. And not from cancer, which is much more likely but we're working hard trying to figure it out.

May you live the life you want. And not just the life you have. Unless you are Sheryl Sandberg, who seems to have masterfully closed the gap between the life she had and the life she wanted but I doubt she is reading a story about one dude's hope for other dudes. (And if she is, hi Sheryl! Loved your conversation with FORTUNE/Alan Murray a few weeks ago).

NOTE: I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO UPDATE THIS WITH NEW HOPES IN THE FUTURE. FEEL FREE TO SHARE YOUR HOPES BUT I'M PRETTY SURE I NAILED MOST OF THE MAJOR ONES!

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