Christian & Anastasia (I SUBMIT TO YOU - Snippet #2)
Yet leave me not; yet, if thou wilt, be free;
Love me no more, but love my love of thee.*
* Algernon Charles Swinburne (from his poem – EROTION
My gaze is fixed, my eyes unblinking; focused, unwavering. My glare is charged with command and Leila’s eyes are locked with mine. She grips the gun tighter in her hand. It’s now or never. My gaze turns completely cold, and absolutely dominating. Leila briefly looks like she’s been caught doing something she’s not supposed to – like a child who's hand is caught in the cookie jar. My gaze is the glare of a Dominant seeking absolute obedience. She knows this stare. This is my stare demanding “as if” from her. Leila’s previous Dom trained her as a slave. Demanding “as if” from a slave adds to slave’s feeling of helplessness in controlling his or her own behavior. She is aware that “as if” position is required of her with my gaze which is something she has seen many times in the past and she has absolutely no power to alter the behavior I require of her at this instant.
She blinks a few times to break the surging power of my gaze, of my will over her – submissiveness is ingrained in her all through her previous trainings; and the charge between us grows, gets stronger like the time she had first became my submissive. I keep my steady dominance over the entire room, it’s palpable, touchable, strong, and charged with surging power. Power to dominate, power to conquer. My gaze pushes Leila down to her submissive mode, seeking that switch to turn it back on, make her submit to me like she had for many months: first she remains motionless, and I finally find that switch in the eyes of Leila’s mind. The initial connection that made her submit to me, to my will, to my desires, and to my mastery over her. Her head dips slightly, and she gazes up obediently through her long lashes and tired, agonized brown eyes.
I can feel Taylor getting jumpy behind me when Leila is like this with a gun still pointing towards Anastasia and while I make my way in trying to use my body as a shield to protect Anastasia; he’s extremely nervous. However I can’t let Taylor jump the gun, and have him spill blood here. I want to help Leila. I hold my hand up to halt Taylor so he suspends his every instinct of shooting Leila to take control of the situation. I know that Taylor is trying hard to rein in his military training instincts. I can take control of her without moving a muscle. Though I don’t dare to move my gaze away from Leila, or even blink. I see a woman who is a fraction of what she was. Disheveled, dirty, lost, half out of her mind. This was not the Leila I remember who walked through my door. She was lively, vibrant, active, mischievous, and all of a sudden I feel pity for her. I care for her, and seeing her in this state makes me feel guilty. But I can’t let those emotions surface now. My primary goal is to subdue her. My worry that she might hurt Anastasia resurfaces. I can’t allow that to happen. I’d rather die than her. The silence in the room is dominated by my exuding will to master Leila. Everything and everyone else is disconnected from my thoughts. If I waver, Anastasia will get hurt. I can’t let that happen. Silence is masterful. Silence is loud. Silence is dark.
She is in her “as if” mode. As the intensity of my gaze focuses on her, taking charge of her, conquering her body and mind, I mouth her, “kneel”. It is a voice command which a slave must immediately obey upon hearing, bringing the slave/sub on her knees. She was first trained in Gorean submission. The voice command in Gorean for that is nadu. Nadu is the first slave position taught to a new slave. A kneeling slave or submissive is directed to straighten her back while sitting on her heels and lifting her head while her gaze is downcast. She is to place her hands palms down on her thighs. But I’ve never used the Gorean commands on her. Nadu means kneel, and I’ve only used it on her in the standard form. Kneel voice command is still the first and most used of all slave and submissive positions as it is in Gorean. Leila immediately drops to the floor on her knees, her head bowed, and finally the ominous gun she’s been holding falls off her hands and skitters upon the floor.
My first goal is to collect the weapon so I remove the danger from the room. I lean down and pick the hand gun up, and look at it in disgust and finally deposit it safely into my pocket. My gaze goes over Leila again to make sure she is obediently kneeling by the kitchen island. Now that the primary danger removed from the room, I need to get Leila proper help, and I can’t bear Anastasia watching me.
“Anastasia, go with Taylor,” I order her. Taylor finally walks into the apartment, and goes by Anastasia asking her to come with him with a pleading look.
“Ethan?” Anastasia ask in a small voice.
“Downstairs,” I state, my gaze still on Leila. Anastasia doesn’t move from her spot. She’s motionless. I look at her in the same commanding way, but she can’t obey jack shit! Once, for God’s sake Anastasia! Do as you’re told! For once!
“Anastasia...” I say in a warning clipped tone. She just blinks at me, unable to comprehend. I find myself automatically moving beside Leila. I hover over her protectively as if Taylor is going to shoot her any minute, or to protect Anastasia as if Leila is going to produce another weapon. I’m the divider between the two poles in the room. Anastasia’s gaze is fixed on the sight before her, bewildered, shocked,scared, and utterly, and completely sad.
I can’t take her gaze anymore, and I have to get Leila some help. Please, Ana! What do I have to do to get you out of here?
“For the love of God, and everything holy Anastasia, will you do as you’re told for once in your life and go!” I hiss at her in a cold, icy tone with my eyes locked on her with of course no effect! I’m angry that she’s still here, that she’s looking at me with those disappointed eyes. She needs to go! I need to take care of Leila, and fix her, and remove the danger she might create to Anastasia’s detriment once and for all! Can’t she understand that? But, this is Anastasia we’re talking about. Of course she has a mind of her own.
“Taylor! Take Miss Steele downstairs. Now!” Taylor nods uncomfortably, but determined.
“Why?” whispers Anastasia.
“Go. Back to the apartment,” I stare at Anastasia with frosty eyes unblinking. Will you fucking do what I ask you to do without questioning? “I need to be alone with Leila.” I say. I need to speak with her, and get her help.
Anastasia’s gaze goes down to Leila.
“Miss Steele... Ana,” Taylor asks her imploring Anastasia, holding his hand out to her to go out of the apartment. Anastasia is unable to move. Her mouth is open, her eyes are wide, completely shocked, and I can’t bear the look on her face. I have to deal with it later, but now, I have to take care of a problem I have created with Leila. I need to get her the help she needs. I’m not completely made of ice! I need to fix the damage I’ve caused with her. That’s the least I can do. But Anastasia doesn’t get it.
“Taylor!” I bellow once, and finally Taylor understands, and leaning down he scoops Anastasia into his arms, and removes her from the apartment.
I stroke Leila’s head gently and affectionately and murmur, “Don’t worry Leila... I’ll help, I’ll have you taken care of.”
......