Tips for Building better Relationships at Work – With your Boss

I wanted to write for long about a very good book I read. The book ”SAVVY – Dealing with People, Power and Politics at Work”written by Jane Clarke and published by Kogan Page, is an excellent one to read. Couple of topics from this book was pretty good. I wanted to highlight a couple of sections. I have highlighted the content from the book in italics.

First topic I wanted to talk about the reasons for relationship meltdowns, primarily between Boss and a subordinate. However these are applicable to peers as well.

Some of the root-causes highlighted are

1. Chemistry – “I Don’t like you”
• Note: This is subjective to personalities and will be rare to see in abundance in a large organisation.
2. Behaviour/Style – “I Don’t like the way you do things”
• Note: This is again subjective to personalities and egos of personalities involved.
3. Philosophy/Values – “I Don’t like what you stand for”
• Note: This is a tricky one and would be rare to see in a large organisation with well-established policies. It may be visible in small-scale firms built on strong philosophy or a belief.
4. Conflict of Interest – ” I will work to prevent you from becoming successful, because a gain for you inevitably produces a loss for me/us”
• Note: This is the biggest one , likely to result due to styles of working and how relationships are progressing between boss-subordinate or peers.
5. Injury – “I don’t like what you did”
• Note: Again a subjective root-cause attributed primarily to the personalities egos and maturity to take this in stride.
6. Prejudice – ” I don’t like your type of person”
• Note: Attributable to Conflict of Interest and Philosophy/Values and is subjective. Rare to see in a large organization with strong policies
7. Jealousy – “I don’t like you for what you’ve got/what you are.”
• Note: More applicable between peers and subject to personality and maturity. Can be seen in certain boss-subordinate relationship, in case of level by-passing.

Second topic that struck me was very valuable advice on how to ensure you take care of your supervisors well in a professional manner are

• Understand what they require from you and how they like to work.
• Be Proactive.
• Help them to achieve their business objectives.
• Don’t ask questions you can answer yourself.
• Be straight and make your apologies count.
• Don’t react emotionally.
• Go beyond the call of duty.
• Don’t insult your boss’s intelligence.
• Ask for and give feedback.
• Don’t get a reputation for being a whinger.

Once your build a good rapport, you can leverage your supervisor to become

• A Mentor and Coach
  • To help you become better professionally, personally and help career progression
• Advocate
  • To be an evangelist for you and help further your career progression
• Role Model
  • This is to learn by watching and working
• Teacher
  • To train you become better with professional skills
• Sounding Board
  • To discuss things ideas, issues, concerns, innovations and suggestions
• Confidant
  • To be a trusted confidant
• Mirror
  • To give genuine feedback – not annual but genuine, regular, constructive feedback that gives a good perspective about yourselves.

Good relationships can be built by having a

• Win-win
• Respect
• Trust
• Listening
• Empathy

Relationship between supervisor-subordinate or peers.

Again, success in corporate world largely relies on how good you are in building effective relationship. I have experienced this from a personal standpoint and have seen the pluses and minuses by being on both sides.

Additionally one of the key relationship factor is on the performance assessments and outcome. Having a good relationship is very important for one to acheive their goals and outcomes and be a good professional.

Based on a couple of analogies

• Sir Issac Newton's law of "Every action has an equivalent and opposite reaction"

and

• From a verse in the Bhagavad Gita which goes as "Karmanyeva Adhikaarastey Maa Phaleshuu Kadaachana , Maa Karma Phala Hetur Bhur Maa Sangotsvakarmani" - Which roughly translates to "One has right over their own actions but never on the results. One shouldn’t be motivated by the results of actions nor move away from performing the duty’s entrusted as a result of the actions. One has to follow the purpose of life and duty and never be demoralised by the outcome."

You can be certain to have a good relationship and time in office if you believe "Boss/Customer is always right" mentality driven by a servant leadership.

Comments welcome.

Note:- General Comments made in this article are Author's. References are from book referred and generally available information. Translation is self interpretation.