Have you ever been frustrated because you are not getting the salary you are worth, not being promoted when you thought you deserved to, and had promises from employers broken?

There have been many letdowns in my life and valleys along the way. I was promised promotions from managers that never eventuated, pay raises that I never saw, and opportunities that never came.

Today, however, I am so happy and where I wanted to be. I am financially blessed and in love with life. However, life was not always so happy. What are the keys to reaching your goals and being where you want to be?

1. Commit to give 100% in all you do.

From the first time in Grade 1 when teams and captains were chosen at school, I wanted to be the captain. I have always wanted to be financially successful and be a leader. Maybe it is because we were so poor as a family that I had to ride my old bike every morning to the bakery to buy 20 cents worth of 2-day-old chook (chicken) bread, which we ended up eating, or maybe because we could not afford real milk or butter.

Something has driven me from within to excel in whatever I do with a desire to be financially successful. Whether it's business, speaking, tennis, surfing, kayaking, golfing, fishing, cooking, guitar playing, gardening, photography, or writing, I do not accept anything less than 100% of myself. That is my commitment.

2. Stop blaming everyone else.

We can all look around and see people who have let us down, ripped us off, broken our hearts, and taken what was ours. What do we do? Do we fight? Do we take them to court and remain unforgiving and resentful? A good lawyer friend of mine always tells me, “Chris, you will make more money investing your energies going forward and being positive than you ever will fighting people in lawsuits.”

Who is to blame for where you are? Are you looking for someone to blame? Have you asked yourself, “Who is letting me down? Who is my enemy? Who is not performing, not meeting deadlines, not making the grade?”

On 10 September 1813, after defeating the British fleet in the Battle of Lake Erie, Oliver Hazard Perry, commander of the American fleet, dispatched one of the most famous messages in military history to Maj. Gen. William Henry Harrison. It read: "Dear Gen'l: We have met the enemy, and they are ours, two ships, two brigs, one schooner, and one sloop. Yours with great respect and esteem. H. Perry."

"We has met the enemy and they is us." Sometimes the enemy is ourselves. The old blame game, where did it start? I remember hearing an old preacher talking about ‘blame’ one time. He said, “God goes to Adam, “Adam why did you eat the apple?” Adam replied, “It wasn’t me, it was that woman you gave me!” God goes to Eve, “Eve why did you eat the apple?” Eve replies, “It wasn’t my fault, it was the Serpent.” God goes to the serpent and he doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”

Who are you blaming for where you are financially? I have blamed many people through my life for my situation, friends, family, wife, kids, managers, parents, and teachers. One day, I realised that I must stop blaming everyone else and take ultimate responsibility for where I am. I alone can change my future, and I did.

3. Set your goals and write them down.

When I was 24 and earning a pittance, I went to my first ever training day on Goal Setting. That day, my life was changed. I wrote down my goals and stuck them on my mirror in the bathroom and above my bed so that I would see them every day. My goals appeared so impossible that I was embarrassed to tell anyone about them: a new four-bedroom brick home, a new silver car, and a $100,000 yearly salary.

I lived in a rental house, drove an old car, and earned $18,000 per year when I was working for a nonprofit organization. I thought that I was limited to a certain salary because of my job, my employer, my education, and my abilities. It seemed impossible, but within four years, I had the goals that I had written down that day.

Years ago the great Houdini was offered a lot of money and publicity if he could escape from a new jail. He loved both, so he took the gig. They put him in the jail and shut its big steel door. Once they left, he took from his boot a piece of steel, very strong but also pliable, and he worked on the lock as he had so many times. After five minutes, beads of perspiration began to show on his brow. After one hour, his upper body was sweating profusely, and finally, after two hours, he collapsed in exhaustion by the door, which opened. You see, the door was not locked, except in his mind.

You hold the key to your finances worth and future, not your job, employer, or education or any other outward thing.

Goal setting is like an air conditioner. Whatever temperature you set it to, that’s what it will reach. If you set it to 80 degrees, then it may go up a little and down a little for a while, but it will always settle at the temperature you have set it to.

Twice in my life, when I stopped goal-setting and lost faith in my goals, I almost lost all I had. However, once I started goal-setting again and began to have faith, I have always bounced back to where my air conditioner is set and began earning what I was worth.

If you were to set a goal that you are going to earn $250,000, believe it and look at that every day, and imagine that you have it now, then soon circumstances will begin to change. Your goal will sprout like a seed germinating in the soil and begin to grow. If you keep watering it and nurturing it, one day your goal will be realised.

At the start of every year, I write down my goals for that year, and I always reach them. Even during the GFC, we had one of the best years ever. Goal setting is a powerful thing. Writing your goals down and keeping them in front of you (I have mine stuck on my computer right now as I write this) is even more powerful.

4. The storm can destroy or develop us.

As much as I set my goals, there are times that I cannot seem to hurdle to the next level of success and performance. There are times that I seem unable to “beat the dragon and save the princess.” However, one thing I learned from the Nintendo game Super Mario Bros., which I played incessantly when I bought it in 1988, is this, "If you persist, adapt and develop, you will improve and eventually win!"

In those moments, when all is not going well and there seems to be a bottleneck, I have come to realize that I can’t keep doing the same thing. That is stupidity. I need to do something drastic. I press the STOP button in my life and pull over for a checkup:“Whoa big fella, time to have a look under the bonnet and see what’s happening here.”

I like what Zig Ziglar said: “You need to have a checkup from the neck up to get rid of that stinking thinking and avoid the greatest catastrophe to man, not hardening of the arteries, but hardening of the attitudes.”

Years ago when my family was growing, and I needed a bigger car, I bought a new Toyota Landcruiser. I had it for a few years, and then one day, I started hearing a knock, knock, knock in the engine. I took it in for a checkup, and they took the engine apart and found the oil was no longer liquid, it had congealed into a rubber ball!

You see, I had been so busy working and striving on one part of my life that I had failed to see the oil light was on in my car. It was trying to tell me, “I need oil”, but I never noticed; I was too busy doing other things. Thousands of dollars and a new engine later, I learnt a big lesson. Keep a lookout for the red light, it’s trying to tell you something for your own good.

There are times as a leader when the red light comes on in your life. We often think that this is a negative and ignore it, but actually, it’s a positive; it is trying to help you. “Something is not right, and some part of your life is requiring attention.”

If you don't stop and have a check up, things will get worse, and it may not be pretty.

These are some of the questions I ask myself during personal checkups. I score each one between 1-10. 1 = pathetic; 10 = guru.

1. How are your stress levels?
2. How would you rate your people skills at the moment?
3. How are you getting on with your subordinates?
4. What level coach are you?
5. How is your overall performance?
6. Have you been organizing your week well?
7. How many cylinders are you running on?
8. How is your relationship with your spouse?
9. How is your relationship with your children?
10. How is your relationship with your parents?
11. How is your weight and fitness?
12. How are the finances going?
13. What is your debt level?
14. What thoughts are constantly on your mind?
15. What is your greatest fear?

Once you can analyse what part of your life requires some adjustment, then you can begin to strengthen that area with encouragement, support, or coaching to get you back on track. This way, you can reach the next level of performance and success in your life, and begin earning what you are worth.

5. Fill your mind with positive role models

When I was younger, I knew I had to study and learn the keys to success. For years when I was earning very little, I budgeted money each week to buy books - business books, autobiographies, and biographies. I have read thousands of books of great leaders. Men and women who have achieved greatness in their field overcome adversity from within and without, to make a difference with their lives.

In searching for leaders I could emulate, one of my great heroes is Captain James Cook. Captain Cook was a man of faith and courage, fighting against overwhelming odds and adversaries in his quest. He would set out on his great journeys from Whitby, a small fishing village in England, famous in those days for shipbuilding.

I love the fact that he named his ships with such positive and powerful names: ‘Adventure’, ‘Resolution’, ‘Endeavor’, and ‘Discovery’. These names exhibit the steady hands that guided Cook, who never faced a mutiny. What a leader he was.

In those days, a crew rising up against its leader posed a captain’s greatest hazard. Seeds of rebellion existed on every vessel as sailors became lonely, afraid, and crazy from being at sea for months at a stretch. After Cook’s death, Captain William Bligh—a navigator on the Resolution—experienced the famous mutiny on the Bounty. But this never happened to the leader, Captain Cook.

In that little fishing village of Whitby today, there stands a statue of the great Captain Cook overlooking the bay where he would sail. On the side of that statue is a plaque with one of Cook’s favorite quotes: “To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

I have endeavored to live by this motto from the great man, “ to strive, to seek, to find and not to yield”.

Strive to give 100%, seek to stop blaming others, set your goals and don’t yield to the frustrations that try to push you off course. Then eventually, you will find that place of true happiness.

--Chris Gaborit is a serial entrepreneur who has built three successful companies without seed funding. For most of his life, Chris has traveled the world inspiring ordinary people to achieve extraordinary things. He believes that within every person is a destiny and calling that can be realized, released, and remarkable. He is cofounder of The Learning Factor, an outsource training company that delivers leadership training to Fortune 500 companies globally. Chris regularly writes for The Sydney Morning Herald, LinkedIn, and FastCompany. Find him on Twitter and LinkedIn.

Photo:Alan Rappa Flickr