Facebook Fails - 15 Things People Should Stop Posting

With the number of accounts at 1.4 billion and counting, the entire Facebook user base can be broadly divided into two types of people - those who can barely go a day without posting something completely inane and the silent majority who don't rely on it for almost every aspect of their personal lives. Many of us are left wondering where the 'dislike' option is, while the attention seekers continue to bombard our Facebook walls with status updates of varying levels of idiocy. Let's take a look at 15 of the most pervasive of them all:

1 - Drunken Party Photos

A lot of us like to let our hair down on occasion and have a crazy night out with friends, and when a camera is involved, the hilarity of a debaucherous night out becomes forever immortalized in the form of embarrassing photos. These photos should never be published on Facebook, since they will come back to haunt you. Let's not forget that everyone from potential employers to romantic interests tend to scour our online profiles before making a commitment. Finally, don't take your Facebook privacy settings for granted! If you publish something on Facebook, you should assume that it's there for the world to see.

2 - Cardio and Diet Updates

Sure, it's fantastic that you're living a healthy lifestyle, but not everyone wants to hear you boasting about your daily exercise routines and how wonderfully healthy your culinary skills are. Facebook is the perfect platform for the fitness bore, and according to a survey conducted for the British newspaper Daily Mail, over half of Facebook users found fitness boasters to be among the most annoying. In fact, oftentimes, people who post constant streams of fitness- and diet-related updates are insecure and sometimes overweight, and indulging them by way of Likes or any other response is not likely to do them, or you, any favours.

3 - Political Opinions

We all have our political opinions, some of which are more controversial than others. At the same time, most people aren't interested in displays of arrogance and intolerance, and constantly posting your political opinions, particularly if they are controversial, is sure to alienate a large number of your friends. It has long been considered bad form to discuss subjects such as politics and religion with people you don't know very well, and Facebook is absolutely no exception. Maintain common courtesy and keep your opinions to yourself, lest what might have once seemed like a constructive post end up being derailed into a flame war.

4 - Love Life

Most of us have one or more Facebook friends who cannot seem to go a day without posting something about how fantastic (or awful) their love life is. It often makes us wonder if they're trying to compensate for something that they don't have in reality. We don't need to know about how in love you are with your significant other, and we certainly don't need to have our Facebook walls constantly bombarded by the gruelling details of your romantic date night. One's love life is supposed to be a personal matter, and not something which is powered by social media for the entire world to see.

5 - Employer-Bashing

Posting angry updates complaining about your employers frequently backfires, often hilariously, or at least to everyone but the original poster. One sure-fire way to end up on failbook.com is to publish an employer-bashing post only to have your employer find it and sack you on the spot, right there on Facebook. Even if you don't have anyone from work on your Facebook friends list, word spreads fast, and even complaining about past employers can and will reflect badly on you when it comes to seeking out new employment opportunities in the future.

6 - Cheesy Motivational Pictures

There is also the type of Facebook user who constantly shares clichéd motivational posters accompanied by inspirational quotes. If you're one of these types, you should stop right now. These so-called nuggets of wisdom, while sometimes funny and entertaining, are more often unoriginal and highly overused. They're rarely the slightest bit inspiring in reality, and if you want to share something, make sure that it is something which offers some kind of value to its audience. In conclusion, if a quote or motivational picture looks like something written on a Successories poster, don't post it.

7 - Tagging Others in Posts and Photos

Tags are a controversial feature in the world of Facebook, a platform which is constantly being criticised by those who prefer an iota of privacy in their lives. While tagging may have its uses, a lot of people do not want to share everything they do with the general public. By default, Facebook automatically suggests tags for photos and status updates, much to the ire of those seeking some semblance of privacy. Always ask people if you intend to tag them, and if you don't want others to tag you, consider changing your Timeline and Tagging Settings in the Facebook Settings page.

8 - Facebook Game Invitations

There is a reason why there is a Facebook community named 'One More Farmville Invite, and I Will Kill Your Animals and Burn Your Crops'. A lot of people have absolutely no interest in Facebook browser games, particularly those of the pay-to-win variety, and all the spam that comes with them. If you're a victim of a never-ending stream of game invitations and irritating updates about someone's progress in Mafia Wars etc., you can block app invites from the Settings > Blocking page. Your Farmville- and Candy Crush-loving friends won't even know - you just won't receive the invitations to play anymore.

9 - Baby Photos

Every parent thinks that their baby is the cutest in the world, but having a child is not meant to be a competition whereby proud parents constantly post ultrasound images and baby photos. Not only does it get intensely annoying for the average Facebook user - it can reach the point of being taunting to those who are still single and wanting to have children themselves. Worse still are parents who irresponsibly keep on posting photos of their children, often without even giving a second thought to their privacy and security settings. Again, keep your family's private life private - your children will thank you later when they don't have to worry about their embarrassing baby photos being plastered all over the Web for the world to see.

10 - Vanity Posts

There's another type of Facebook user who thrives on fame and fortune, even if they don't actually have either. Regardless, however, no one likes a boaster, and the vanity posts showing the world that you're enjoying a first-class meal in the VIP lounge of an airport before embarking on a high-powered business trip across the world are downright cringe-worthy. People do not want to hear about how brilliant and wealthy you are, and let's not forget that a little dignity and modesty goes far further when it comes to earning respect.

11 - Cries for Help

We all get down on occasion, and some suffer real depression, something which is no laughing matter. However, posting about your personal demons and suicidal tendencies on Facebook is likely to have the exact opposite effect. If there's one terrible thing that social media has done for the world, it is that it has made many of us socially awkward and less able to interact with people in real-life scenarios. Instead of crying out for help and begging for attention on Facebook, try phoning a friend or meeting up for a face-to-face chat in the good old-fashioned way.

12 - Health Statuses

Similarly to the previous point, it is also considered by many to be exceedingly bad form to constantly post health updates. Some people even go so far as to post images of themselves in hospital or after an operation. Many find it distasteful, undignified and downright obnoxious, and it's unlikely to garner any sympathy. It might seem old-fashioned in this day and age, but keeping such things between yourself and close friends and family is actually far more dignified and respectable than plastering it all over the Internet in the hope of getting attention.

13 - Excessive Abbreviations and 'Leetspeak'

While Facebook is primarily a platform for everyday online social interaction, it does not mean that you need to come across as completely illiterate. Common and widely understood abbreviations are fine in moderation, and understandable given that many people now use Facebook on their smartphones, but excessive use and 'leetspeak' often makes status updates almost unreadable. At least try to use correct spelling and grammar, lest your post end up being in the wall of shame that is Failbook. Also, constant mistakes often end up reflecting badly on you.

14 - Mundane Posts

There is such a thing as outright Facebook addiction, and some people literally cannot go an hour without posting. The fact is, that for most of us, our typical days are rather mundane and not particularly interesting. While drama is supposed to reflect real life with the boring parts omitted, the Facebook addict will often post the most routine things, such as what time they woke up, what they're doing at work and what they had for breakfast. The fact is, no one is likely to be quite so invested in someone's everyday life, and all it is a reflection of the poster's narcissism, and in many cases, loneliness.

15 - Begging for 'Likes'

Begging for likes is an apt way to wrap up this article, since it applies to everything that has been mentioned previously. Some Facebook users even go so far as to make subliminal threats to those who don't pay enough attention to them by way of 'likes,' while others, often with good intentions, share causes and ask for likes in the hope of promoting them. The fact is, that 'likes' aren't going to change the world, cure cancer or eliminate third-world debt. On a related note, people should also stop 'liking' bad news, although perhaps posters should also keep bad news to themselves rather than posting it on a global platform.

Comment, Share, Stay in touch via linkedin Lukasz Zelezny, via twitter @LukaszZelezny or join #SEO4STARTUPs Workshop -14th October 2014, 6:30pm in London (Desklodge, N1 9UZ)