Do You Have "True" Thoughts?
Eric Wettstein
Couples Counseling/ Substance Abuse/Addiction Counselor, Group Therapist/ Licensed Mental Health Counselor, FL #14617 at Constantly Healthy
"The best of all true things is a true heart. Without truth no happiness, though you try a million tricks." Kabir
Truth often feels ethereal doesn't it? (no, not the solvent diethyl ether)
Truth is like you're looking for it in the Periodic Table, where you believe it's there but it's not there--that elusive element that "makes up stuff". And just when you think you've got it nailed down, it fleets around like the randomness of electrons of an atom.
You know the truth is in there somewhere, but you can't quite figure out if it's between Strontium and Plutonium, or if it has ever even existed at all. But it certainly feels real, and seems it would be something we all need like oxygen (O) and hydrogen (H) just to live and survive on as we seem to have been chasing after 'the truth' for millennia.
Maybe it's even beyond Ununoctium 118. What's out there after that anyway?
Maybe it's Tr 119? Talk about the Uncertainty Principle! Geez!
Why don't we do an experiment with our chemistry set to see if we can find it, shall we?
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “The ancestor of every action is a thought.”
So what happens if your thoughts are debilitating you and preventing you from becoming the Best You --- You Can Be? What if those thoughts aren't true? Hmmm?
Famous author of The Work, Byron Katie, created a fantastic way to help you with your own internal "Truth O' Meter" by taming negative thoughts, such as those that make you feel depressed and anxious or filled with hatred and fear.
Follow these steps and you can never go wrong by asking yourself:
1) Is the thought true?
Pick a thought, any thought. We have lots to choose from as we can have upwards of 100,000 thoughts per day! Just imagine if we acted on all of them! Just imagine if we believed all of them?!
Whatever the thought you may have that's creating a feeling of unease, you need to question it. In fact, the first part of your experiment if you've never done it before is to question every thing and every thought!
Researchers have found that only 2-3% of our daily decisions are based on fact! Odds are in your favor to question it because it's most likely untrue and not fact...what have you got to lose except an untruth? Is Un-truth in the Periodic Table...hmmm?
Even after this, if you're still fighting question #1 a bit, try the next one on for size.
2) Can you with 100% absolute certainty, without a doubt know that thought is true?
Now that you've first questioned it in #1, question it again, and figure out how you know that it's true.
Based on what, and on what evidence? Is it because you've always done it that way?
Well, sorry that ain't evidence. That's just monkey see, monkey do, follow the leader kind of stuff. Is it because mom and dad said so and they're still sayin' so? Your boss says so? Your spouse says so? "Experts" and pundits say so? And what if their thoughts and beliefs aren't true? What then? How do you know for sure? How do they know? Have you ever asked them or asked yourself?
This reminds me of a little story involving a young bride who was having her mother-in-law over for dinner for the first time.
The young bride was baking a ham and before putting it in the oven, she cut off the two ends. Her mother-in-law asked her why she was doing that, to which she replied that's what her mother had always done. Intrigued, the bride called her grandmother, who said "Well, when your mother was young, we didn't have much money for fancy pans, so I had to use the same old small pan for everything. A ham didn't quite fit in it, so I always had to cut it down to fit my pan before I could put it in the oven."
Based on YOUR very own thoughts, do you know why you do what you do? Is it based on fact, learned behavior, blind acceptance, rote or something else other than the truth?
Let's just assume you still want to hold onto that precious little thought anyway.
3) How do you react or what happens when you believe that thought?
What happens to your body when the thought comes to you? Do you fall to pieces and feel lethargic? Does it make you feel nervous, agitated, irritated, afraid or angry? Or are you energized, vibrant and feel alive with that thought?
Does your thought serve a particular purpose, and does that purpose benefit and serve you well or does it harm you or hold you back?
Now that you might be feeling a little icky after working through #3, let's dream a bit here.
4) Who would you be without this thought?
Some people like to call this the "magic wand" question. What does it feel like to you when you don't have this thought? How about if you never, ever had this thought again, what would your life be like?
When I ask this question of clients, 100% of the time my clients say things like: It would be Awesome! Great! Fantastic! Super! Relieved! Blessed! and on and on. Do you want to feel like that? Do you feel like that now with your thoughts?
To seal the deal...
5) Now do a “turn-around” of the concept you are questioning.
This means when you are always having that incessant tape playing over and over type of thought that doesn't serve you or make you feel good. For example:
"I'm worthless!" Go through steps 1-4 first and in this step you instead turn it around on it's head and say to yourself "I'm priceless!" And you continue repeating "I'm priceless over and over until...
Whatever that pervasive thought is such as: I'll never be any good... is now... I will become good at something. I'm fat is... I'm svelte/thin; I'm stupid, turns into I'm smart; I'm ugly turns into I'm beautiful; my marriage is hopeless... to... my marriage has hope; my boss is a jerk--well that one may or may not be true, but you get the point. Everyone, including "jerk" bosses, have something to teach us about ourselves and truth. Whether we see past the "jerk" disposition to allow us to learn or not is an entirely different issue altogether.
Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right as Henry Ford once said.
Always remember: Your thoughts lie to you; they can lie a lot! Those ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts) can get in your pants to where you never get any place, any peace or any truth!
Don’t allow your music (authentic self) inside you to perish by succumbing to thoughts that do not have your best interest at heart. You deserve better than that and you’ll thank yourself for it!
For those of you who don't know who Byron Katie is, she once had an epiphany one morning back in February of 1986 where she created and used these questions to pull herself from the brink of suicide, paranoia, rage, and self-loathing all while "living" in a half-way house.
Here are her words:
"I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment."
“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger – but recognize the opportunity.” John F. Kennedy (1917 – 1963)Speech in Indianapolis, April 12, 1959
Whether the Truth is ever found on a "Periodic Table" matters not. The truth is all around you and inside you. You have to be willing to see it! Willing to believe it! Recognize the opportunities! And the truth shall set you free!
To help stop the nonsensical suffering from those ANTs check out my article on "Suffering--It Doesn't Have To Be This Way".
Feel free to contact me to help you with YOUR truth. Let's find out the element of "Tr" together! Let's use fission to destroy those lies so we might create a whole new world for you!