Here's How to Cancel a Meeting the Right Way

I wrote a version of this post four years ago but given the hectic nature of today's tech markets I thought it was worth revisiting and updating.

Canceling meetings is a part of modern day life. I seem to get so over programmed that if I ever want to have a "break-out" unplanned trip somewhere I seem to have to reschedule meetings. Not fun, but a reality.

People reschedule meetings with me on a regular basis, too. If done correctly I never have any problem with it at all.

When you do need to reschedule a meeting make sure to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Give reflection to what inconvenience you may be causing. Make sure you're mentally aware of whether they might have made special plans around your meeting. Basically, don't be cavalier about rescheduling meetings.

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Let me give you an example. A couple of years ago an entrepreneur had requested a meeting with me to present his business. A friend that I respect had introduced me and asked me to meet with the guy. I always try my best to take meetings like this since my friend had clearly committed some political capital to his friend in saying he could help him get a meeting.

The meeting was set for Wednesday, May 8th at 11am. A few days before the meeting the CEO asked me to change the meeting to 11:45 because "he was going to be wrapping up a meeting in Pasadena at 11am" and it would take 45 minutes to get to Century City where my offices are. "No problem," I replied.

As the day approached I noticed that there was a conference in LA that I wanted to attend. The day before the conference I thought about rescheduling this meeting but then thought, "oh, well. It's too close to the meeting date. I'll honor the commitment I made." So I didn't go to the conference. At 11:15am (30 minutes before our meeting) my assistant got a call from his assistant requesting that we reschedule the meeting. I was furious. Less than 30 f'ing minutes before the meeting! Really?

I wrote directly to his assistant asking why he had cancelled and made it clear that I had not attended a conference in town due to my having accepted this meeting. She responded back that (paraphrasing), "he had gotten stuck at a conference with a very important potential advisor to his company. It was a big industry luminary and he needed to see whether he could meet with this advisor."

They were stuck at the same conference that I had wanted to attend. And that's why he stood me up! He was the one asking me for a meeting to raise money and then canceled me to be at the conference. Aaaargh.

I wrote him the following email

"As an entrepreneur myself I COMPLETELY understand that you wouldn’t pass up on the impromptu and opportunistic chance to meet somebody so important to your business. I would have done the same.

But as a gentleman I would have picked up the phone in advance and personally called the appointment to apologize for canceling at the last minute – no matter whom I was meeting. It’s just professional courtesy ."

And I meant it. I would have totally understood. Customers do come first. And this person was so important to his business that he should have stayed. But to have his assistant call my assistant was chicken shit.

The problem with rescheduling meetings at the last minute is that people plan their calendars around your meeting. They might schedule what part of town they'll be in or whether or not they'll even be in town at all! Last minute changes inconvenience the person with whom you're scheduled to meet. It still happens but always weigh up whom you're meeting with and understand whether that person is likely to be largely impacted by your changes.

Here is how you cancel a meeting:

1. If you need to reschedule an in-person meeting do it a few days in advance - Whether you do your own scheduling or whether you have an assistant, a polite email to reschedule a meeting with a few days notice is usually acceptable. I always ask my assistant to be vigilant about knowing whether anybody has planned travel to attend a meeting with me or our firm. We write that into the calendar entry so that I (and any my partners) know this and would only reschedule if extremely urgent.

2. The day before - This starts to get problematic. You really need to know with whom you're meeting and how big a problem it is to reschedule the day before. There are some people who live locally to you and you know don't have calendars full of meetings every day. If I KNOW it is somebody with whom I can more easily reschedule then we'll reach out to them and see whether it's OK. We usually try to re-slot them in quickly. We try to be very accommodating on timing. Often if they were going to come to my office I'll offer to go to theirs to make it up for rescheduling so late. I assume that I owe them one.

And if we need to reschedule the day before it's usually for a very compelling reason. It's often because I have some last minute unplanned travel. If it really is a problem we'll often stick by our initial commitment.

3. The day of the meeting- It better be a great freakin' reason like travel problems, you're sick or there's some burning issue you can't avoid. And obviously it is far worse if you were the person who had originally requested the meeting. In this case it warrants a personal email (or better yet a phone call) from you and a Herculean effort to reschedule the meeting.

Recently a team flew to meet me. They came from New York. I assume that they also had other meetings in LA but they really wanted to meet me. I had been introduced by a friend. Their plane had to land in Las Vegas unexpectedly to refuel. I had no other open slots to meet them that day and they missed their window. So I ended up doing a dinner meeting because I know what it's like when you travel to meet somebody about fund raising and might not get to have the meeting after all.

4. Within an hour of the meeting - The sky better be falling. You better be eating humble pie. You better not be the person who was asking for the meeting. You should grovel. You should call personally to state your sincerest apologies. If the meeting is first thing in the morning (e.g. hard to get ahold of the person) don't even think of it. They've clearly planned their morning around your meeting.

5. If it's the third reschedule - If you've rescheduled once obviously it's best to try and not reschedule a second time. If done in advance it's manageable. But the third time it starts to get pretty annoying for the recipient. At a minimum you owe them lunch or do something surprising like sending cupcakes to their offices with an apology note.

6. If multiple people are in the meeting - Do your best not to reschedule when meetings involve multiple people. I'm not talking about two people from the same company (like co-founders) or two partners at a VC firm. But when you have a board meeting that has 5 people there or when you've scheduled a meeting with 3 or 4 companies. Board meetings do get rescheduled but when they do it's best to do it as far in advance as possible. Last minute changes with multiple people involved just exacerbates the inconveniences to others.

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