How To Squeeze the Most Happiness Out of a Single Moment

A key to happiness is squeezing out as much happiness as possible from what happens to us. Unhappy people don’t have fewer happy experiences as happy people, they just think about them less.

To get the most bang for the happiness buck, I’ve realized that I should complete four stages of reveling in a moment of happiness:

• anticipate it with pleasure
• savor the moment as I experience it
• express my happiness to myself or others
• reflect on a happy memory

(I wish that I could get these four stages to spell out LIFT or GRIN or some clever mnemonic – any ideas?)

I’ve already done quite a bit of thinking about reflecting on happy memories. Nowadays, I spend more time on things like making photo albums and organizing mementos, because I realize what a happiness boost these reminders can provide. (For 6 tips for using mementos to keep happy memories vivid, look here.)

But I hadn’t thought much about anticipation. If anything, I think I discouraged myself from anticipating a happy moment – either out of some kind of superstitious fear that I’d be “jinxing” it, or by trying to keep myself from feeling disappointed if the anticipated moment didn’t happen.

That’s foolish. First, “jinxing” is superstition. Second, why squelch present happiness from some attempt to manage my future feelings? Such a disappointment wouldn’t be a crushing blow, and I’m depriving myself of the joys of anticipation.

I now make an effort to have something to look forward to each day. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

In my work for my book Better Than Before, about how we can change our habits, I've found that . So giving ourselves (healthy) treats can help us stick to our good habits. (To hear when the book goes on sale, sign up here.)

By looking forward to a treat, I get more enjoyment from it -- also, savoring, expressing, and reflecting.

How about you? Do you find that anticipation is an important part of a happy moment? Though of course good surprises make us happy, too.

• Of everything I've ever written, I think this one-minute video, The Years Are Short, resonates most with people.

  +++
  
  Gretchen Rubin is the author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. She writes about happiness and habit-formation (the subject of her next book, Better Than Before) at gretchenrubin.com. Follow her here by clicking the yellow FOLLOW button, on Twitter, @gretchenrubin, on Facebook, facebook.com/GretchenRubin.

  Photo: swgn, Flickr