Social Media accounts and Death.

What a subject to write about, right? Well, spending the summer in the quietest of ways this year – no parties, no islands (not yet at least, and its already mid-August), no adult drinking or hangovers –, I chose to relax and win myself true, rested, meaningful time for the winter to come. The last HR Conference attended on July 4th, noted the dawn of my relaxation, at least up until September, where all important meetings, conferences and client requests will start pushing again. The thing is… that along with my relaxation, another dawn (or maybe nightfall?) started to take place. Three people from my professional network died.

When I found out about the first one, I wasn’t shocked that much at first, coz I thought I didn’t know him. And I didn’t. I saw him once in a conference, was never introduced though or happen to come near him whatsoever. When I saw his Facebook page though, I started remembering his face, I saw his life and surfing hobbies pass before my eyes and then all those comments multiplying even as I write this text, saying how much he would be missed to everyone and most of all, his family. A young person leaving a wife and a kid (I think he had just one) behind. Crashed. Not only because of the death. People are dying all over the world, every day… Crashed, when I found out that he was too young to die out of anxiety and stress that caused his death. The HR Community was shocked… Each and every one, so sure of that, thought that they might as well be in his place. Knock on wood.

The next one to go, around that days, was someone I met just once; he had interviewed me, while in the beginning of my career. A tall, structured, managerial figure, as I recall. In contrast to everything written after his death, all about his rich career track and entrepreneurial strategic moves, unfortunately, bad reputation had more than once reached my ears which followed him as a colleague, manager and an employer… Of course, those were statements during his professional life, which surely now don’t matter; neither to his close ones left behind, nor anyone. Two things tortured me when I had heard of this death – his two daughters and the term “hysterophimia” (posthumous fame, fame after death).

The final “shot” came to me yesterday. Facebook, once again, revealed a “friend” of mine’s profile, full of goodbye comments. Cancer had knocked on the door of some girl I met two years ago at a party. A week ago, she had just flown from Greece to Texas, to proceed with a stronger cure. What's more, she has... had... (totally confused of how I am supposed to write this) a girl, 1,5 years old. So, I spent all day yesterday thinking about her mother that had to arrange her child’s body to be brought back to Greece for the funeral, while carrying her grand-daughter on the plane, all these hours, armed with loads of courage (drawn how?) to act like a clown to make the child laugh and not seek her mother’s scent…

Facebook full of sad comments. Three hollow LinkedIn profiles, full of recommendations and amazing experience. And a short but psychologically-dreadful process to erase those accounts. Well, do you erase them? Who will even care to do it? Or is it the next best thing for those who wanted to stand a bit closer but couldn’t, meet these people but never got the chance, express their admiration but it was too hard to approach? Does it help/hurt, to say one last “Goodbye” and “I love you”, even if it’s going to be digitally, for you and others to scroll on? How can we, the ones who shared with them only a laughter or a handshake, but never got that close, say a proper goodbye when we don't even know when and where the funeral will take place...?

43, 45 and 32. Too young, accomplished, with children so young… Work, work, work… And stress, alive and kicking, devouring our energy, passion and need of leaving history behind. Please, try to relax with your family and rest as much as possible. Please, try to work only to live and not live to work. Please sleep, love and kiss more.

I’m begging you to listen to me, coz only then I, myself, would too be led by example.

Yes, I'm talking to you, and me.

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Ethel Agelatou is a Career Branding Coach & an Executive Search Consultant, as well as an Editor of Career Consulting Journals (online & offline), covering topics on personal branding, unemployment, Social Media and entrepreneurship (businesscoachinglab.gr, wearesocialmedia.gr, kariera.gr, hominumopus.gr, HR Professional, CareerGuide.gr).

But most passionately of all, she is a LinkedIn Trainer & Evangelist, conducting:

• In-house corporate trainings (customized services on clients’ needs/online brand)
• Open seminars (speeches/hands-on workshops)
• One-to-one sessions, improving personal or corporate e-branding

Follow Ethel's work on her LinkedIn Greek Community Facebook page, Twitter and About.me.