"Daddy, your boss is a lady?"

I'm blessed with a beautiful daughter, Lilliana. She's remarkable to me. Just 4 years old, I watch with endearment as she grows and develops each and every day. I have no sense of what she will do when she gets older, but I know that I will encourage her to realise her dreams and potential, as my parents did with me before.

That's why a single moment last week brought me crashing down to earth with a bang.

"Daddy, your boss is a lady?"

Lilliana blurted out the question, disguised as a statement, without a care in the world. Curious, yet confused. Typical of the innocence of a 4 year old.

She had joined me at work for a Company day, one of about 20 children (including my son) who had just enjoyed a variety of activities in our main office. Between the loom band making, animal presentations (NB. I work for an Animal Health Company) and DVDs, Lilliana had been able to meet - and dare I say charm - many of my colleagues. These colleagues included numerous members of our Executive Leadership Team, including the Head of HR (my boss) and the General Manager, both of whom are female. Shortly after one of these meetings came Lilliana's revelation, "Daddy, your boss is a lady?".

My response was immediate and not that well thought through, "Yes Darling, she is. What makes you say that?". If Lilliana's first question had surprised me, her follow-up statement floored me.

"Because daddy, I thought all bosses were men."

Wow - in that moment I was horrified! I've spent all of my career in HR. From my very first job, I've experienced first-hand the importance of diversity in the workplace. More than this, I've been lucky enough to have worked for great Companies who have actively championed talent development - without boundaries. I've personally been privileged to coach some truly great individuals, both male and female, on the basis of their individual capability and potential. So, all told, my daughter's statement floored me.

A week later, and after many conversations, I have somewhat reconciled Lilliana's statement. What I have come to learn is that how Lilliana may have formed this view doesn't really matter. It would be silly (if not na?ve) to try and control the external influences in our modern world. What is important is that she has been given the opportunity to share her thoughts and explore her own (unconscious) limiting beliefs. Critically, she has had a first-hand experience (i.e. meeting some female senior leaders) that has helped to reshape these limiting beliefs - an experience that I hope will remain with her (and my son for that matter) for their lifetime.

This moment has also enhanced my understanding of unconscious bias and limiting beliefs. Specifically, it's clear to me that unconscious bias has an even bigger impact than I had previously acknowledged...and at a much earlier age. Furthermore, I now also recognise - much more fully - the critical impact that role models can have on shattering limiting beliefs. Both of these insights will guide my future work, particularly in terms of leadership development and coaching.

In closing, who would have thought that a Company day would have been so profound for me and my little ones?!

Julia Carter BPharm

Enhancing Performance & Leadership in Technical & Pharma Organisations | Blended learning training programmes | Executive Coaching | Insights Discovery

6 年

Great article Kieron that I didnt see 4 years ago when you first posted it. I'd be interested to hear what other insights & learnings you have had from your children since then - children are such great teachers, aren't they?

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Jacqueline Yocum

Business and Computer Technology Instructor at Chester County Career Center

6 年

Missed this when you first posted it. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it now! Going to share with my network on this side of the pond. So relevant to where we are today. Thanks for re posting!?

Chloe French

Associate Director (Transportation) at AtkinsRealis

10 年

This is a brilliant article Kieron, and eloquent as ever. I agree wholeheartedly about role models breaking down barriers of (even unconscious) belief. I hope you don't mind, I'm sure you don't, but I am going to share this and celebrate your insight.

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Wendy Stone

Director @ The Global Academy | Board Advisor | Digital Transformation | Driving commercial, data-driven financial, technical & business strategies for Social Enterprises

10 年

This is going to send me home to check some things with my not-so-little girl and, perhaps more importantly, my horde of adolescent nephews.

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Wonderfull article Kieron! Thanks for writing and sharing it!

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