Six steps to becoming a Writer Wannabe

The rise of the internet has opened up so many doors and given chances for everyone to become a writer. No more pesky editors getting in the way correcting grammar, suggesting improvements, checking facts, staying on subject. And why should there still be a role for someone to stop wannabes starting a new sentence with a conjunction. Or why is it that an editor feels deemed to choose. Who are they to say what articles are good or bad. If a wannabe wants to boldly create a whole new word, grammatical structure or language then who has the right to stop them ?

So here is my 6 step guide to writing an article for the new media. What do you call a fly with no wings ?

1) Always start with a brief introduction. This has to be brief but interesting.

2) Throw in some humour into the introduction. Oh I had better correct my introduction and add a joke. A walk.

3) It is ok to go off on a tangent. This reminds me of the time my brother in law broke his tooth. He was trying to unscrew a tube of toothpaste which was on too tight. There’s proper irony for you, Alanis.

4) Always try to break the standard Grammar rules. If Hardy or Owen can break them then why shouldn’t you be allowed ?

5) Include a numbered set of points. They are easy to remember and break the article down into something the reader can skim through without the boring introduction and ending.

6) End the article with a few lines and links to your other articles. Or your books that are for sale on Amavoidtax.com

7) Use lots of highlighting, underlining to emphasise words. It is more efficient than actually trying to write well.

So there you have it. How to write like a professional writer wannabe. Of course I only jest and you can read all about how to become a proper writer by buying my book “How to become a proper writer”. Or my other book “Writing like a proper writer”.