What I learned from death

A couple of years ago my father passed away after a short but extremely intense sick bed. To say I was a ‘daddy’s girl’ would probably be an understatement. He and I were thick as thieves and had a sense of humour and a connection that made others around us sometimes feel excluded from the party.

Reactions to a life

My dad was an international tour guide and when he passed away we received emails from all over the world from people letting us know how much he impacted their lives and how much they appreciated him as a person and a mentor. I remember feeling incredibly grateful and overwhelmed to read all these reactions about someone who apparently wasn’t just the most important person in my life but also made a difference for others. And then something hit me; my dad never knew he meant this much to people or that he had an impact on their lives.

A definition of success

For as long as I can remember, my dad measured success in the amount of money you make, your social status and the job you have. While he was probably the hardest working man I ever met, he made some bad business decisions and suffered the consequences. As a result, he always felt he failed and his main goal in life was for us, his kids, to do better. It never even occurred to him that success can be measured through other things too.

Two things I learned from his definition of success and the reactions after his death:

1) You need to tell people what role they play in your life. Not just the people nearest and

dearest to you but anyone who has a positive impact on your life. Don’t ever assume they know!

2) Success is so much more than money, status and your job.

And then there’s the life definition of success

Death returned in my life when less than a year later, one of my best friends got hit by a car and died. Now she was successful in every way my dad would have liked to be. Not very happy though. The last conversation she and I had was about her desperately wanting to get out of the ‘rat race’ and do something she was really passionate about. She was taking some great steps towards that goal when her life ended much too young.

Again, I felt I had to learn something from this and came to the following conclusion:

1) You can be hugely successful in business but if it isn’t in a field you are passionate about, it will leave you feeling unsuccessful and unhappy.

2) Don’t assume you have time enough to follow your dreams later on in life. The time is now.

Every morning before I start my day I meditate and end my session with the following words: “Today I will be loved, today I will make a difference, today I will be the best version of me I can be”. I think of my dad, of the impact he made on other people and I think about the person I want to be for the people I interact with.

The other day I got an email from someone I work with. His email was rather simple (it was a response to something I sent him) and read “you are a really good person, you know”. Those words meant more to me than any business successI have ever achieved, or potentially ever will. In the end, I do believe this is what life is about; being a good person and making a difference for the people around you.

What about you?

So as you start your day today, think about what success looks like to you. Who do you impact and who impacts you? Who in your life is making a difference? Tell them now, don’t wait!