Sentimental or Mental? (when should a piano be dumped)

One of the least pleasant tasks I have to perform, as a piano tuner, is passing the death sentence on decrepit old pianos. Often, the customer has called me in for a tuning or a valuation, hoping for the joyous news that I can poke my screwdriver into the piano, whizz over it with my tuning lever and Bob`s your uncle, a working piano, suitable for use up to grade 8. Their world soon comes crashing down around their ears when I tell them that unfortunately their prized possession is completely beyond repair. Often they come back with "I don't want a concert instrument, just something I can play". Therein lies the problem I retort. Then, somewhat like a doctor telling a son or daughter that their elderly Mum has died, I have to sensitively and politely explain why this 120-year-old pile of junk, with dozens of broken strings, cracks all over it, moth-eaten hammers, a completely seized up action and is hand-painted in gloss white, has no future other than a swift trip to the dump. This is often where the real problems start. What, you mean to say it should just be dumped? Yes. But can't you strip it down and use some of the parts as spares? No. I just assumed old pianos get more valuable with age. No. It must have some kind of antique value? No, and so on. Eventually we get to the question that really bugs me, well how much is it worth then? Otherwise perfectly nice people, they often seem willing to burden another unsuspecting human being with a massive headache, not to mention a large expense. All sense of moral responsibility seems to temporarily go out of the window. I politely suggest that they wouldn't be doing anyone any favours and that the new owners would be having exactly the same conversation, with someone else, just like me, in a few weeks. I even had a callout once, to a piano that I had myself taken to the dump just a few weeks earlier and which had been dragged out and over to the recycling shop after I left and sold to someone else later that week. I told the customer that I had myself dumped a piano just like this one only a few weeks ago, that`s right she said, I bought this one from the dump. Perhaps at least part of the problem is the high level of sentimental attachment individuals have for their old instruments. These old Joannas [rhyming slang] become like one of the family, I often see real tears welling up in the eyes of customers who have just taken on board the sad news. Often elderly customers will say I don't want any money for it, you can have it, as long as you promise you won't scrap it. One man recalled a traumatic journey he had, in the back of a piano-mover`s wagon, saying goodbye to his mother`s old piano, which was on the way to be dumped. "It was groaning and moaning away in the back, for the whole journey," he said, "I`m sure it knew this was the end". We promised not to scrap his old piano and took it away for free. Having done the best I could to make it wag, it was sold cheaply to a beginner, but after having tuned the piano a few times, I really started to ask myself if thiswas the right decision. In hindsight I believe these types of pianos can potentially do a great disservice to a budding pianist They can clog up the system and prevent kids from getting a fair crack of the whip. It can also do the trade a disservice by blocking the sale of a decent new or secondhand instrument. On another farcical occasion I was called to a 21st birthday celebration, for the lovely Galia. It was quite a posh affair, as were Galia and her mum. I was told that Galia would be singing, accompanied on the piano. I soon also found out that the piano was in fact the main birthday present from her loving boy friend. I nearly fainted when I was led over to the most unbelievable pile of junk I had ever seen in my life. A heap of wood and metal that bore no resemblance to a musical instrument whatsoever. The room fell silent, guests stopped sipping their drinks and gathered round. Er, I'm really sorry, I said nervously, but I have never actually seen a piano as terrible as this before. Jaws collectively dropped around the room. Where on earth did it come from I asked, and a young man hesitantly stepped forward. I found it in a skip, he proclaimed. I paused. Well I would recommend you go and put it back, I replied. Galia, who was by now quietly sobbing on her mum`s shoulder could take no more of it and made a dramatic, tearful exit from the room. I am pleased to say she returned shortly after and bravely, still fighting back the tears, gave a rousing acapella performance of `I am your Lady`, accompanied only by her mother`s shouts of encouragement, "Sing Galia sing!" I left with a story to dine out on and fortunately Galia`s mother didn't want to give back the stool she had ordered. All joking aside I think all tuners have to walk a tricky and fine line when making decisions of this kind. Weighing up the pros and cons of trying to fix up old banger pianos against the harm one can do to the development of a potentially budding talent as well as preventing a retailer from making a much-needed sale. Jimi Hendrix learned to play on an old, one-stringed guitar he found in a trash can, so I live in hope. I fear however that most stories do not end so positively. The king is dead, long live the king, or in today's parlance, life moves on and so must we.