Are YOU Happy, Really?

This morning over coffee we shared an article on People and Pleasure from NY Times and Dr Vikram's Reputation and Character from LinkedIn. In a round about way this conversation touched a few deep points.

Happiness is and Unhappiness are not on a scale where each are the opposite of the other. We both agree that Happiness comes from within and you are either happy or not. We understand too that at the same time as being Happy about somethings, we are Unhappy as well. The article goes into the math of Happiness=X and Unhappiness=Y. Our overall Happiness is determined when X>Y, or truly Unhappy when X<Y. This state can be mapped over time to show the trends and patterns in your life. By evaluating this plotted information, we can reflect and adjust to bring our state of X>Y to a higher constant.

What comes into play is finding out what makes you Happy and what makes you Unhappy. Chasing things (sex, money, reputation, success, material things) to fill Happiness externally sooner or later looses its luster and we are dissatisfied again becoming Unhappy. This is the Simulacra (Tsarion) that I speak to all the time. We chase the substitute hoping it will satisfy the longings in the soul. They never do. Then we seek escape to be happy (drugs of choice) or chase of the multitude (more is better). The result still returns to Unhappiness.

The NY Article speaks to the formula Love Things, Use People as being the root of Unhappiness where Love People, Use Things actually brings about Happiness.

This brings in the topic of Reputation and Character.

Reputation is the outward appearance of success. The judgment of others value the presentation of being displayed. This is an arduous and continuous task to maintain the position over time. This Simulacra presents a version of yourself reliant on judgment and approval. You are successful when you are the "coolest" "hottest" "funnest" "sexiest" "richest" "best" at anything or all things. External things support this position making you look like the best to other people. Others decide they want what you have and are willing to take it. This pedestal manufactures a never ending hole. Everyone fights one another to gain that position. This skewed presentation is incoherent and not authentic to all of who you really are, thus leaving the shadow side buried and hidden. The cost of creating this outward mask is a heavy burden. Your Reputation of success makes you temporarily Happy. Then something happens or someone better comes along stealing that Happiness. This Survival of the Fittest continues our Unhappy cycles. Ultimately, we are Happy as long as we are on top, and Unhappiness returns when we fail or our position is stolen. Thus, we steal and fight to keep our place stepping on those in our way.

Character is the inwardly alignment of core beliefs creating the life you lead. Others may not see this as success and no claim to fame might stem from this lifestyle, yet there is a core sense of Happiness attached because you are authentic and coherent in all you do. Your offerings and givings are real, and the people you touch are changed for the better. This does not mean you will not achieve success or gain a good Reputation. This just means that your core definition of self and your happiness is not reliant on your Reputation and what others think of you or the position you hold. Your Character gives you the yard stick to measure all your decisions, thus you do not act against your beliefs to uphold any external illusion that is not real and connected to your who you really are deep inside.

We all have both within us. This is easily plotted out as X and Y, the algebra you claim to never use is actually disguised and used every day. Charting this information about what makes us happy and when we are happy give us a new perspective on our lives. We see what brings Happiness or the causes of our Unhappiness.

The correlations between yourself and your life, your appearances and your deeper self including the shadow, your reputation, your character, your value of people, your experiences, your relationships, your belongings, your career, your success, your value of things (the list is personal and can be endless) equals your overall X>Y or X<Y. Again the patterns over time show you your over all state of being. This information empowers our choices. We can choose what is important to us, what we want to do and can now be proactive to successfully our ultimate goals of Happiness.

The truth is that when we love ourselves and we love those around us, we build a life we love and we are Happy. Life events rocks our world, yet we hold onto our core values and beliefs (Character) as the judgments and views of others (Reputation) fluctuates. The real connections ride out the storms supporting the fluctuations and allowing for success to return when the calm is once again realized. Happiness is not about being good or fitting into anyone else's model. Happiness in our lives is defined by the path we lay and the connections we make.

Ultimately, Happiness comes when we firsts realize Who We Are, What We Do and Know How to Give Back, and then we create a circle of friends that we can share these realizations together each day riding out the Good and Bad times together.

MONEY does not make anyone Happy, it UNMASKS them to reveal what is inside.

Think about your X and Y and realize how often it is (>) greater or (<) less than. Build a life that supports X>Y through Loving People and Using Things, or at least understand your ruling formula and work with it to your best end.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/07/20/opinion/sunday/arthur-c-brooks-love-people-not-pleasure.html?emc=edit_th_20140720&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=31264665&_r=2&referrer

https://www.dhirubhai.net/today/post/article/20140720031917-304967524-character-and-reputation?trk=hb_ntf_MEGAPHONE_ARTICLE_POST