3 Reasons Introverts are the Best Networkers

I'm an introvert. Sure, I "do" extroversion quite well at social events. And yes, I'm a professional speaker, which is a highly extroverted job. Why do I say I am an introvert, then?

People typically think introverts are shy. Some are. I'm not. The hallmark sign of a true introvert is that we need quite a bit of quiet time alone in order to recharge our batteries. Doing the extroverted thing drains our emotional and physical "batteries" and we need to recharge quietly and alone after long bouts of extroversion. Whenever I have a speaking or teaching gig that requires me to be "on" in front of an audience, I always schedule about three low-key days after the event for personal recharging. That means no important appointments, no big social activities, no back-to-back speaking gigs.

As an introvert in a largely extroverted profession, I was terrified at my first National Speakers Association conference in Philadelphia last year. How would I network with the "right" people in such a short time? How would I make myself heard above the din? How would I present myself as a competent speaker worthy of large speaking fees?

I've always been a great networker, online and off. Despite my "disability" (because introversion is often seen as undesirable in our culture), I have identified three reasons why I believe introverts are great networkers.

1. We are good listeners because we're not talking all the time. This one comes from my friend Thom Singer at this year's NSA conference. I resonated with it passionately and found it tweet-worthy. Isn't one of the cardinal rules of networking to give before you expect to receive? Giving the gift of actively listening to a colleague's story and reflecting it back in your own words is far more powerful than prattling on about yourself endlessly. This works for both social media and in person networking.

2. We don't need to be the center of attention. Here's what I do at a conference when everyone is clamoring around the keynote speaker or famous author to get an autograph or snap a selfie. I hang back. I watch. I observe. I connect with the person after the event offline via social media or email. "I saw you at XYZ conference and I really loved what you said about monkeys and circuses. I think monkeys are grossly underrated and I enjoyed your viewpoint because it helped me solve a problem I've been having with my own monkeys and circuses. Thank you so much and please let me know if I can ever be of assistance to you."

3. We are slow to speak. Introverts often take a little longer to verbally formulate an idea or thought, but when they do...watch out! It's usually a doozie. Well, this is true for this introvert anyway. That's why I like social media so much. I can take a lot of time to think a problem or idea through - on my own terms before I spit it out. I do it in person too. Often this is mistaken for shyness or confusion, but what I'm really doing is buying time so I can can find the right words that are unlike all the other words you've heard. I rarely blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Sometimes I worry that it comes across as uninterested rather than as thoughtful as I intend it (#IntrovertProblems). The kinds of people with whom I want to network tend to appreciate it as thoughtfulness and those who make quick judgments aren't really my peeps anyway.

Are you an introvert? If you are, perhaps you have more thoughts about why introverts make great networkers. Please share them. Or perhaps not. Perhaps you think introverts are just big wusses. Sometimes we think that about ourselves (I'm using the royal "we" here, but I'm really talking about me). So we find quiet time and we figure out how to make it work to our advantage.

We're not wusses. We're a powerful force.

Quietly powerful.

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Ann Zuccardy is a two-time TEDx presenter and keynote speaker who challenges conventional ideas about what makes us smart.  A brain injury survivor, she uses her TBI story and neurological research she discovered during her recovery as a platform to train others to think about how they think - resulting in improved innovation, creativity, and productivity. 

Watch Ann's first TEDx talk - How a Brain Injury Made Me Smarter.

Book Ann to speak at your next event:  [email protected]

Follow Ann on Twitter:  @annzuccardy

 

Jeffrey Walker

CEO, Content Carnivores. Executive Creative Director, Geletka Plus. Plenty of elbow grease to manage the dual roles.

9 年

Love the idea that extroverts leave an event energized and introverts need to re-energize--which is that time to reflect that let's us consider the best next steps.

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Dr Angela Smith

Forensic & Behavioural Psychologist. Where Science & Wisdom Meet.

9 年

Hi Ann, absolutely loved this post, it takes an introvert to really be able to get it. And, point 2 is something I do all the time. I have worked with so many clients who have been diagnosed as having depression, when they are simply introverts - big difference. Because they do not understand that it is stressful not having quiet time, they end up very stressed. Its an amazing experience when I point out they are not weird or even depressed, they are simply introverts. Once they understand the change is dramatic, and that includes becoming more confident and assertive. Thanks for this post will tweet it

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Seggi Mir

AI, DATA, and People | ex MIT & Looker

9 年

Hey Michael, do you still plan on visiting West Coast this winter?

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Michael Adams

Senior Brand Strategist + Media Director

9 年

Well said, Ann. I love this. I've become introverted after graduating from college. Time to myself is what I need to think & plan, but it's essential to getting the most out of a networking event. I spend my time with people who matter. That means I make a handful of solid connections and don't seek to know everyone in the room.

Carlos Mu

??? Licensing Officer - Hospitality and Racing, DCITHS

10 年

Great find James

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