Relationships Are Critical To Personal Brand Effectiveness

Show some care and attention to the people important to you.

Carl Jung once said “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” While I struggled to complete Chemistry class in high school, I’ve learned that Dr. Jung could not have been more right in his assessment of relationships between people. When you take time to really connect with others, you can achieve amazing outcomes! Your personal brand grows stronger and those around you (e.g., friends, significant others, managers, peers, direct reports, customers, and vendors) benefit by your continued presence in their lives.

While relationship building is certainly not as complex as neurosurgery or the construction of the international space station, it does take a little finesse and imagination to trigger that important catalytic reaction that can make them seem almost effortless. Based on my experience, I offer you the following suggestions.

Demonstrate Genuine Curiosity

Whenever I come across someone with an interesting background on LinkedIn, or through an article I’ve read, I make it a point to contact that individual to learn more about his or her work, interests, and point-of-view. I usually do this through email, but if we’re both in the same city then I may invite the individual out for coffee or lunch. Most often these meetings are with other HR professionals or HR consultants, but I’ve met great people in the arts, journalism, science, and business. The goal isn’t to land a job or nail a business deal. It’s about getting to know others and learning about their passions and professional aspirations. It increases your knowledge beyond the scope of your job which serves to make you a well-rounded person who is able to speak about a variety of topics.

Remember to capture notes about the people you meet. I make notations on the business cards I receive about the date, venue, people we might know in common and the main topic discussed (don’t worry, I write small). Some people use the contact features in their Outlook address book to do the same thing. It will help you remember the contacts you make and what’s important to them. This creates opportunities for follow-up or sharing items of interest that will nurture the relationship over the course of time.

Ask Questions, Then Shut Up and Listen

Sometimes relationships are squashed before they have the opportunity to blossom because we may not give the other person a chance to speak. If you’re the kind of person who tends to be extroverted and really enjoys speaking with other homo sapiens, keep in mind that a good conversation is a two way street. People want to be heard and they need to know that the person they’re speaking to is really interested in what they have to say. Demonstrate you’re interested by taking time to be silent. And when you ask questions (and you should be prepared to ask questions), give space to allow the other person to answer. Don’t become the person with the reputation of talking too much as Ellen describes in this YouTube clip.

Regardless of your area of expertise, being a good listener is a great way to make your personal brand distinct. The people around you will often seek you out to bounce an idea off you or look to you as a confidant who will keep sensitive information to yourself. You’ll find this practice will help sustain relationships for years.

Don’t Let Too Much Time Pass Between Contacts

We all lead busy lives. Lack of time is the number one reason that my clients give me for not touching base with people in their personal and professional networks. While they know that relationships are like plants, pets, and property (they all suffer greatly from neglect), it’s all too easy to put off reaching out. The corollary to allowing gaps in touching base is only reaching out when you need something from someone. Again, it will hurt your professional image and people will eventually cut you loose. I also find it helpful to leave three or four days open on my calendar each month to have meetings that either I initiate or that get initiated by others. By doing this consistently, it has become part of my routine and allows me to avoid being “too busy” to invest time in building and sustaining the relationships important to me.

I also use my electronic calendar to remind me when it’s time to connect with colleagues and associates or to set up an appointment for breakfast or lunch. If that’s not your cup of tea, then use a system/process that works for you. Leverage your social media platforms (e.g., Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest, or media of choice) to acknowledge birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, promotions and other life events. And don’t neglect the old school approaches. Some people still appreciate letters or hand written notes. In this technological age, it shows that you’re really willing to take the time to stay connected.

It’s Still Better To Give Than Receive

When I was six, I wouldn’t say that I agreed with that notion, but I’m older and wiser now (at least I think I am). It’s not a sin to want to meet someone because you believe he or she can help you find a job or do something positive for you. But if that’s all you want, then you’re robbing yourself of a golden opportunity to build a long lasting connection. Many people err because they treat relationships as one off transactions instead of developing them over time. Think about it. You may have gone to a conference recently and came home with lots of business cards. But how many of those people are you interested in getting to know or to help them be successful? You may be thinking that you’ll contact these people when, and if, you need them.

Instead, it’s better to utilize your understanding of the people in your network to find opportunities to solve their problems or help them grow in their careers. You can easily do this by sharing your insights and expertise. Your contacts will greatly appreciate articles, books, links, candidate referrals, consultant/vendor recommendations, technology suggestions, and process improvements or any relevant information they can put to good use. When you put their needs first, individuals in your network will remember. The payback may not necessarily come from the person you helped. But I believe when you do good things, for the right reasons, God honors it in delightfully unexpected ways.

It certainly takes time to achieve a winning relationship, but it would be silly not to make the investment. Great relationships when properly developed, open doors that enable you to achieve greater visibility and expose you to new opportunities. After all, your personal brand is only as good as the company you keep.
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For more insights on developing an effective personal brand, please visit my blog www.thepersonalbrandprofessor.com.