Connecting or Smarter Networking?
J. Kelly Hoey
Design your future around the relationships you're building today // Author + Coach + Speaker + Strategy ???????? focused on high-achieving networks along with the networking strategies women need for success
I've just re-read an old post on Entrepreneur.com - "Forget Networking: How To Be A Connector".
It caused an "Hmmmmm" the first time I read it and it is causing an "Hmmmmm" again this time.
Connecting. This is something I've thought about a lot - as I've been described as a connector. I don't have an exact definition, but I do know that it involves more than simply knowing a lot of people or knowing where to mix & mingle (aka network) to meet people. Understanding that you make your best connections at the YMCA or PTA or Girl Scouts vs a "networking" event is simply being smart and observing your surroundings. It's connecting as in connecting to the best networking opportunities for you (aka proactively putting yourself into the right room), but I wouldn't label someone a 'connector' for recognizing their best networking happens on the treadmill or at yacht club or during nursery school pick-up.
As I often say to networking neophytes or more often than not, to those with a phobia of networking - 'stop committing random acts of networking'. Recognizing where you meet a lot of people who feed you professionally or personally is smarter networking.
Opportunities can come at any time, from anyone, anywhere. Such as the time I was asked by a tourist for a referral for a dentist in a midtown Manhattan, Starbucks. You never know when helping out a head of HR (Europe) for a global investment bank will come in handy. But for me, that chance encounter was serendipity or simply old-fashioned courtesy. It's not connecting or even it's forlorn cousin networking (even though we're now connected on Linkedin).
A connector may know who you need to meet and have that person's contact info in their rolodex. They may also know the type of person you should seek out even if they don't have name. Or (even before Linkedin) they knew an introduction to one person would bring you closer to the second and third degree connections you really needed. Better yet, they may have gut feeling that you should talk to someone they know or have met, and while they're not sure why, they strongly feel some magic will happen when the two of you connect. A connector may also say to you 'have you thought about' or 'if I was you' and then set you off in a direction which you hadn't thought of before (the "Eureka!" moment).
It's not simply "you should know" it's the 'why' and the intuitive knowing.
It is strategy, combined with nuance, alchemy and wiring.
Behind all this mental pinball wizardry, the connector never stops thinking about you, your needs, the needs of the other person, the needs of your business or project, how and when the connection can and should be made (if at all). Connecting is about ensuring there is mutuality and reciprocal value in the connection being made.
An introduction without a "why" spark is merely an introduction - it's not a connection.
The ability to make the right connection is the reputational capital of the connector. Is it a skill which can be learned? Frankly, I'm not sure. However, I do agree with Entrepreneur.com, connecting is a skill most people have to work hard (really, hard) to understand let alone appreciate when they ask a connector for an introduction.
Seasoned Creative Professional, Writer, Artist
10 å¹´This is super interesting and something I am relearning at this present moment seeing how I can cash in on the value of my connections which are many! I have the personality : ) which helps and Rocky Dhir you are totally correct is it about brevity and that perfect elevator pitch cause then people glade over and you lose them! thanks for posting!
AR is the UI for AI.
10 å¹´Great article Kelly. Part of the inspiration for creating my first TEDx event was seeing a data-visualization of my Linkedin network by Linkedin's own LinkLabs called LinkMap (it's still live). The two largest clusters consisted of one group of advertising industry relations, mostly in 'digital', the other cluster was mostly tech startup founders. Though they use many of the same skill-sets and on the development side, many of the same tools and software, there was almost no overlap between people in these two groups. So I held the event in a lecture hall at GREY Advertising, hosting a collection of speakers from New York tech startups. When I meet somebody new, a natural thought process is, 'Who do I know that they may know?' It's just a natural conversation starter to find common ground. If it turns out they don't know this person, perhaps they should. I make a lot of introductions. Thank you for sharing. cheers
I specialize in LAW, LAUGHTER & LANGUAGE. Let’s shake things up!
10 å¹´Good point, Kelly Hoey. The flip side of this concept is that we must all be able to articulate what we do in a clear fashion so that others know who to connect us to. By being a connector, it forces you to think deeply about what you yourself bring to the table. Just my two cents. Thanks for posting.