Should we be ourselves at work?

I do not think we could achieve a consensus on what being yourself actually means. Being is a verb, not a noun. How a person acts in a given situation is how that person acts in a given situation. To the extent that this is true, people are always "being themselves". I think when people say that they want to feel as if they are being themselves, what they mean is that they want to be acting in such a way that “self” does not enter into it. They do not want to question themselves. They do not want to examine themselves. They want to be-in-the-moment, or be authentic or not be concerned or worried. They want to just be able to act without concern or compromise. They want a job, that is, where they feel as comfortable as they feel around friends who know them well. A job where they can act and react without worrying about how others will perceive them. And that would be great – only I doubt it is realistic. Unfortunately, being in public involves compromise. Working with others involves compromise. Compromise is often uncomfortable. Thankfully, most compromise is minor. Meeting social norms is often minor. However, even minor compromise is often not authentic for large portions of the population. As an extreme example, most jobs do not allow a person to come in whenever he or she wishes, hung-over and wearing pajamas and yet there are people who would do just that if there were no consequences. Some people are so confident in themselves that they may not question themselves and, therefore, always feel as if they are being themselves. It is arguable that there are some few who pull this off but, for the most part, the rest of us use derogatory terms to describe these people. No one has a job (or a life) where he or she can respond without thought to every circumstance (psychopaths aside). I doubt anyone has a job where he or she gets to respond authentically to every situation. Does that mean that no one is being his or her self? Of course not. You are the compromises you make just as much as you are the immediate reactions. You are your fa?ade. You may want to claim that you are not that person, that you are less nervous, more laid back, better with deadlines, better with people. You may want to say that you would be such a different person if you were just in a job where you could be yourself. I think what you really mean is that you would be a different self if you were just in a different job.

I think you are most probably correct Tim. Most of my good friends tell me I'm nearly at the "I'm going to go into business for myself stage". So they must know something about me that I have yet to fully commit towards. Maybe I could write an article "When you are truly determined on being 100 percent "you" at work it's time to buy the company". Thinking about it , even owning a company wouldn't enable a "true reveal". Still have to comply with various laws and regulations right :) Nice article btw.

Pete: I agree that some people are better and some are worse at being themselves at work. Lisette: I agree that most employers don't reward people for the diversity that results when they are their unique selves. But despite the first point, and because of the second, I maintain that almost all of us put up some facade in the workplace. And, according to the last link I gave in my original article, we are not necessarily any happier if we're ourselves.

Seriously we spend too long doing it to be anything but ourselves. About the only thing I fake nowadays is my dress sense. Truth told I'd much rather be warm and cosy in loungewear. It absolutely does my head in to hear employers bang on about being "genuine and authentic" and then do everything in their corporate power to make you into one sad, boring, homogenous pot of generic corporate nothingness. Normally the Manager who does that to their employees have their own personality traits to rewire. I love genuine "genuine and authentic" personally.

Nicely written, Tim. But may I offer the observation that whle there are people who are able to present an idealised version of themselves, there are also those unable to do so. On a scale of 1 to 3, the happiest (1) will be those who can be themselves at work, and who are appreciated for who they are, the next (2) would be those who present a "more acceptable" version of themselves, and the last group are those who are incapable of not being themselves, but for whom being themselves is somehow denigrating. I have been been in positions 1 & 3......1 is better.