Long Distance Relationships; Difficult but not impossible

Having the term “Distance” when describing your relationship becomes a challenge, whether long or short. Anyone who's ever been in a long-distance relationship can testify on how hard it can be to maintain this type relationship. No one intends to end up in a long-distance relationship, but sometimes it just happens. You fall in love with him or her in town and then he/she moves out of town. Or maybe you hooked up with a scrumptious man or woman while vacationing, but who can afford to fly across the country every weekend?

One might be curious as to where I’m going with this; well keep reading. On average, the amount of time for long distance relationship to break up if it’s not going to work is 4½ months. On the other hand, if it is going to work, it can turn out to be a stronger relationship; according to a new study by Mary Carole Pistole, Long-distance relationships can actually be more stable and last longer than close ones.

Why is that? Couples who are willing to travel distances to see each other happier than those who are easily within reach? While they might not spend tons of time together, "long-distance partners have high-quality time together, which might create a closeness not seen in those who see each other every day," explains Pistole. "They have more open communication, fewer trivial arguments, and segment work and relationship time." She also points out that couples who live far apart tend to rely more on email, the telephone and simple notes to stay in touch; partners who live close by don't do this as much, since they spend more time together, which leads to taking each other for granted.

As we all know, everything worth waiting for comes with a price. Having a long-distance relationship results to the fact that you can’t see each other everyday and it costs to see each other, there are scheduling differences, fear that you will grow apart and misunderstandings that would create offensive discussions which leads to arguments. It is understandable that one wants to keep the relationship going while being apart, but one must understand, and accept the fact that a level of emptiness will now exist, some emotional stress might take over the lack or no physical intimacy and some miscommunications will take place in the rushed or little conversations.

Long distance relationships can be very difficult, but not impossible. There are many things a couple can do to make it work; just to name a few, Make conversations meaningful, one must learn to appreciate the precious moments you spend together and not take things for granted. Surprise each other, compliment each other, seek professional help if you feel the need and take advantage of modern technology such as videophones, web cams to not only talk but to see each other.

Relationships are hard work whether it’s long or short distance, whether one should involve in a long distance relationship isn’t for anyone to decide but the parties involved. If they feel strong enough and willing to face the obstacles that will be encountered for the final result of a strong and mature relationship, great; but if one isn’t ready to face the difficulties and would quit at the first sign of trouble, I would recommend to stay local.

Long distance relationships may be difficult, hard to deal with or may not even last, but if you choose to engage in such commitment, as someone who experienced a long distance relationship, a Christian and Behavioral Psychologist, I would say that the communication line with the Lord and your partner is your best chance to make it work.

Peterson Alcide, PhD