Lead With Love. It Beats the Alternative

There is a one minute video clip from a Jim Carrey commencement speech making the rounds on the Internet. In the clip, he says "...you can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love." It's a great message, and I got a whole lot of inspiration watching the full speech, but what resonated with me the most comes in the first 15 seconds.

Every moment in your life is an opportunity to choose either love or fear. This is not just an inspirational platitude, it's a reflection of the way our brains work. We are hard wired to see the world in terms of threats to avoid and rewards to pursue. We evolved this way over millions of years, and it's a pretty useful model when you're living in a hostile world of sabre toothed tigers trying to eat you. But today, the dangers of sabre-toothed tigers have been replaced by mostly phantom fears. We humans have well developed egos that are afraid of an amazing array of things, whether we are willing to admit it or not. It sounds like this... "If I let my guard down for a minute, they'll walk all over me." "I don't want to look stupid." "I would love to do that, but it will look bad on my resume." "I can't say that to my boss, even if it is true." "I can't take that risk, I might end up penniless." "I can't let them get away with this; I'll look weak." "I'd do that if I knew I wouldn't fail, but I don't want to fail."

What we're afraid of are thoughts. We're afraid of what we believe others might think, and we're afraid of what we think might happen in an imagined future. But those thoughts don't exist in the real world, they only exist in your head, and as such, they are always a choice.

You do not control the Universe, but you have unfathomable power in how you respond to, and therefore create your Universe. Everything you do, think, feel, and believe is a choice, and your Universe reflects all the choices you make. All choices are based in either fear (avoiding, resisting, fight or flight) or love (pursuing, giving, allowing, encouraging). When Jim Carrey says ask the Universe for what you want, he's not talking about a traditional pray and hope strategy. He's saying what you get is what you ask for, and what you ask for is reflected in all the choices you make.

As someone who has spent much of his life with fear just below the surface, always lurking at every decision point, I have begun to change. I can tell you from first hand experience, there is far more power in love than fear. If you seek to change your life, choose love over fear. If you seek to change your organization, choose love over fear. If you seek to lead people, you absolutely must choose love over fear. You can manage people through fear, but you can only lead them with love.