Father's Day (by a Divorce Lawyer)
Randy Kessler
Family Law Attorney, Media Contributor, Emory Law Professor, LinkedIn Influencer (400k followers)
Father's Day. Lots of things come to mind, but for me, as a divorce lawyer, it sounds more like "Parent's Day". All parents should be celebrated and hopefully able to be with their children on this day. Rather than single out one parent, why not focus on one, but maintain the importance of both? And yes this applies to Mother's Day as well. Two loving parents are better than just one. And in fact, California has recently authorized judges to designate three legal parents (think same sex couples plus the other sex parent whose semen or egg was needed). Generally we must all agree that the more people loving, caring for and supporting a child, the better. Of course there are exceptions and of course (and unfortunately) there are bad parents. But when all parents love and support a child, doesn't that increase the child's chances for happiness, success and a good future?
In my line of work, every day I see people fighting over kids, each convinced they love the child more and know what is best for the child. But today, Father's Day, should be a day on which we stop and say "let's be sure our child knows we all love and support him or her, that we can cooperate, that if we are not together as parents, we can at least exchange the child agreeably and with kind and soft words".
For a child to know that his or her parents love each other, or at least that they respect each other and can get along, is one of the greatest gifts a child can receive. And this is not just for divorced, or never-married families. Marriages and intact families should also strive to offer this gift to their children. This would not only help children, it would reduce the need for lawyers to be , and I for one, think that is a good thing
Photo: BlueOrange Studio / Shutterstock
Solicitor at Hollies Solicitors & Advocates Ltd
10 年If one is loved then one would know how to love and give love in return.
Group Head Legal & Corporate Affairs | Certified Director
10 年Thank you for the post, as a single parent i respect the value of your comments.
Communication Designer | Developing creative solutions to complex issues in communications, design, content management and community engagement. | Renewable Energy
10 年Unfortunately, the parents committing the most egregious violations of this, won't heed the advice. I've seen it and seen the children's heartbreak because of it.
For many years after the divorce, I had to shop for the ex for Christmas, birthdays, and Mother's Day. Not fun. But, the kids weren't old enough to do it yet and they needed to know that giving matters. I'm no saint; made plenty of gaffs. But, I know they deserve a chance for a decent continuity in this life. And, despite various battles, the ex mostly reciprocated. Happy Father's Day.
Global Manager, Incident & Risk
10 年My ex-wife and I still class ourselves, obviously including our girls, as family ... even though we have both remarried. We have both been lucky to have partners that understand the importance of each parent and encourage interaction. So much so that we also have family meals which means we all go out for dinner together. Not many ex's out there can stand to be in the same room together, never mind sit at a dinner table and chat about our lives. Ultimately, and what started this all off, we both needed to make sure that our relationship split didn't cause any distress to the children. They have both enjoyed "Two Christmas's", "Two Birthdays" ... but most of all knowing that they have the security of two parents that love them, and step-parents that do too. It was a difficult time at first, mainly friends and family trying to make us follow the social path of hating each other and fighting all the time ... and then thought we were weird because we talked, and worked everything out between us. However, since we went our own ways some friends and family have had relationship breakdowns ... and they have all said that they wished they could have done it the way we did. It takes two to make that happen though. My ex-wife is now very ill with cancer, but my teenage children both know that they have the love and support of two families to get them through this horrible time.