Which of These "Four Tendencies" Describes You?

Assay: With all modesty, I do think my Four Tendencies framework may be one of my finest contributions to the study of human nature. Right up there with my abstainer/moderator split and under-buyer/over-buyer distinction.

In a nutshell, under this scheme, people fall into one of four categories–Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, Rebel–depending on how they respond to external expectations (work deadlines, traffic regulations) and internal expectations (New Year's resolutions).

Upholders respond to both inner and outer expectations

Questioners question all expectations, but can follow expectations they endorse (effectively making all expectations into inner expectations)

Obligers respond to outer expectations but not to inner expectations (a friend said, "When I was on the high-school track team, I never missed practice, but I can't go running now)

Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike

To read more, go here.

One important question is: what is the main desire or motivation driving the people in the four categories? Here’s what I currently believe. Does it ring true to you?

Upholders wake up and think, “What’s on the schedule and the to-do list for today?” They’re motivated by execution, getting things accomplished. They really don’t like making mistakes, getting blamed, or failing to follow through (including doing so to themselves). This is my category.

Questioners wake up and think, “What needs to get done today?” They’re motivated by seeing good reasons for a particular course of action. They really don’t like anything arbitrary, or spending time and effort on activities they don’t agree with.

Obligers wake up and think, “What must I do today?” They’re motivated by external accountability. They really don’t like being reprimanded or letting others down -- but they find it hard to meet their expectations for themselves.

Rebels wake up and think, “What do I want to do today?” They’re motivated by a sense of freedom, of self-determination. (I used to think that Rebels were energizing by flouting rules, but I now I believe it's a by-product of their desire to determine their own course of action. Though they do enjoy flouting rules.) They really don’t like being told what to do.

Understanding this is important, because if you want to motivate yourself (or someone else) to do something, it’s key to know how a person will consider and act upon that request or order.

What do you think? Which Tendency describes you?

I write about the Four Tendencies at length in my forthcoming book about habits. Such an interesting subject! To hear when the book goes on sale, sign up here.

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Gretchen Rubin is the author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home. She writes about happiness and habit-formation (the subject of her next book, Before and After) at gretchenrubin.com. Follow her here by clicking the yellow FOLLOW button, on Twitter, @gretchenrubin, on Facebook, facebook.com/GretchenRubin.

Photo: www.BackgroundNow.com, Flickr

katarina binder

Handledare Fr?sunda omsorg ab

10 年

interesting:-)

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Scott Rowe

ASP.Net C# SQL Computer Programmer

10 年

It seems to me that being anything but a Questioner is not very mature. Look at an expectation and either go with it (from your own values) or reject it. No one can decide for you. "Therefore let your yes be yes and your no be no." Or, Walt Whitman if you prefer: "Re-examine all that you've been told. Reject what insults your soul."

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Lee Yoong Shin

UX professional, writer & translator

10 年

i'm either a questioner or a rebel; occasionally an upholder.

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claude lewis

Office Assistant at GBTI Solutions

10 年

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While I have your attention I would ask you to consider seriously the following proposition.....If every woman voted for a woman in the next election,regardless of party,then a sea change in politics would occur. Where no female candidate is selected then a woman who was shortlisted,but not selected,should be persuaded to stand as an Independant. Out of 650M.P's only 114 are women and the number hardly increases at each election. There are highly competent and honourable women who can improve the process of Government if given the chance. This will only need to be done once. One election will deal with it if women take this idea seriously. One election!Just think! Other democracies may be energised into doing the same.

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