It is Personal

Do you ever lose sleep over what happens at work or have arguments that you replay over and over again in your head? You might call me sensitive, but I think one of the greatest lies told about business is that "it's not personal." Of course it's personal if people are involved because they speak and write and listen and see. If people are an organization's most important asset why do we try to convince them that they are just a bunch of wires and stuff?

A number of companies ago before I co-founded Aha!, our investors decided to replace the first CEO with someone "experienced." [This is a pattern that seems to repeat itself over and over again in technology companies -- typically to the detriment of the company and ultimately the investors themselves]. The new CEO came in and repeated over and over again for a few weeks that "it's just business and not personal."

The CEO then whacked most of the management team that was performing reasonably well. Once that was done he spent the majority of his time getting his pilot's license, learning to fly, and talking about building a "lifestyle company."

I know it was personal when my colleagues explained to their spouses and kids that they had been fired and what could be more selfish than canning folks to build a lifestyle company?

He made it a year before the board fired him. You can guess what happened next. He sent out a rant email to the surviving management team that he had been wronged. I guess it was not just business -- it was personal. I learned a lot that year.

Of course he felt the effects of being fired. It hurt. This is why it's ludicrous that when things go well we celebrate the people who showed "great personal sacrifice" or "put the business ahead of themselves." But when something bad happens we are told it's not personal. Managers typically reach for this line when they want to share bad news like:

  • You are not getting that promotion
  • Your project is being cancelled
  • You failed to meet your MBOs
  • You are being forced to do something you don't agree with

The reality is that every organization is in the business of people. And every job is personal for every employee for a few key reasons.

We work for a higher purpose
Working is not the end game. We all toil to achieve goals that are beyond the act of effort. Supporting our family, helping people be well, solving a science challenge, or teaching young people math are all meaningful outcomes that we might strive for. The time and energy that we put in on a day-to-day basis is what we must do to realize our aspirations. It's our aspirations that move us forward and make work personal.

To create is human
Our aspirations come from within and the actions we take to chase them make us human. One of our greatest gifts as humans is that we have the capacity to dream of a better world and build our way to it. The thoughts we have lead to words we speak and sentences we write. The greatest advancements in every industry have been driven by those with unique talent and the willingness to work tirelessly to solve problems differently.

We build relationships
Most of us spend more time working than doing anything else. And we spend that time with others who we interact with, depend on, and develop connections with. Workplace relationships are unique interpersonal connections with important implications for individuals and the organizations that employ them. Studies show that workplace relationships directly affect our ability to succeed and our likelihood of staying at our current company. The relationships we develop are inherently personal.

If you have ever watched the classic movie "The Godfather" you will remember a famous quote from Michael Corleone (Al Pacino): "It's not personal Sonny, it's strictly business." And you will remember that it definitely was more than just about the work. The same is true in every company and for everyone person who earns a paycheck -- our aspirations, efforts, and interactions mean something to us and others.

Work is the act of the body and mind moving towards a goal. And at its best it's a creative pursuit which is often characterized by seeing the world and problems in new ways. It's fundamentally a human endeavor which makes it utterly personal. Thinking and producing are what humans do and it's impossible to completely separate that from the connections we make and the emotions we feel.

We will all be happier if we remember that it's business AND it's personal.

When was the last time someone told you "it's just business?"

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About Brian and Aha!

Brian seeks business and wilderness adventure. He has been the founder or early employee of six cloud-based software companies and is the CEO of Aha! -- the new way to create brilliant product strategy and visual roadmaps. Signup for a free trial and see why the world's leading product and engineering teams use Aha! to build software that matters.

If you are looking to join a company that is profitable, growing fast, and thinks business is personal, join us. We are actively seeking a Director of Marketing and lead Rails developers.

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? Aha! 2014

Adhya Chakraborty

Engagement Consultant at vEmployee & Zingma

10 年

Yes, I thoroughly agree! It IS personal & highly so ..... Our offices are the places where we spend a crucial time of our days and its important that our work place offers us the much needed peace of mind!

Adwoa Devereaux

Chief People Officer at Hearst Magazines | HR Leader, Employee Advocate

10 年

At the risk of sharing an unpopular viewpoint, I do not agree with this article in its entirety. Now, obviously, when a person receives positive or negative information regarding their career it affects them personally. That makes sense. However, the rationale for the decision isn't always personal. Meaning, the decision is not made based solely on how one person personally feels towards another. For example, I promoted you because I like you, or I fired you because I don't like you. That's personal. I think this is a critical distinction to make. When dealing with people nothing is so absolute. Often when leaders tell someone 'it's not personal' when they are getting fired, it's not to imply that this does not affect the person in a very direct or personal way. Not at all. It is that leaders' attempt to let the person on the receiving of that message know 'just because I'm firing you, doesn't mean I think you're a horrible person, or a horrible employee'.

Adam McMurry

Business Development Professional I National Sales Manager l Merchandising Consultant

10 年

Brian, you make a great point. I do agree and as you point out, the context of the "it's not personal" line is usually used to explain, justify or soften the impact of negative consequences. Maybe better to acknowledge the pain and remind that all you can do is all you can do and in some situations that's not enough to get the right decision, win the sale, promotion or even keep the job?

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John Becton

Senior Software Engineer at Jack Henry & Associates

10 年

It is this commitment to the employees under you that has made you the mentor that you are. Your guidance has helped me to understand many facets of business and management that I would not have otherwise gotten. You epitomize true leadership and the distinction between just a manager and and a true leader.

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Bob Miller

Chief Operating Officer | Chief Innovation Officer | Cybersecurity Leader | Founder | Entrepreneur | U.S. Patent Holder | Innovation Engineer | Head of Strategic Partnerships | Educator

10 年

Having as much start-up time as I have, it's inevitable that your going to get a management team that just isn't getting it right. I've had to lay people off because while I was busy managing my team, another team failed to do their job well. Forcing me to have to downsize for the company to survive. I have witnessed the aforementioned hiring of "experience" for CEO. The pattern's are universal and the results very much like you point out. To make sure I learned my lesson (not watching both ends of the boat), I personally went and sat with every person that was being downsized and looked them in the eye and told them that I knew full well that what was happening to them was painful. And that I regretted not doing a better job of watching out for them. I refused to let HR handle it alone. It felt wrong to not see the people and hear what they said first hand. You can not possibly be a good leader without understanding the people aspect of any organization. Money and revenue make things possible, but people make them happen. So yes, business is personal and at NO point is a business decision NOT going to affect people either positively or negatively.

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