The Secret of Life = the Authenticity Condition
The most attractive people are those who are comfortable in their own skin. They can be old or young, graceful or clumsy, thin or wide... it does not matter. Self-assurance and authenticity quickly overpower outward appearance.
Most of us fall somewhat short of this ideal, but all of us can understand and move towards a simple principle, which I call the Authenticity Condition...
The more authentic you are in your actions and statements, the better they will work for you.
If you pretend to care about other people, they won't respond much to your interest. If you actually care, they will open up to you and welcome your presence in their lives.
The Authenticity Condition has a catch; you can't lie to yourself. You can't pretend that you love your job if you don't. You can't pretend to be aggressive if you are compassionate by nature, or vice versa.
I may believe in listening to others, but if the only thing that matters to you is what's in your own head, you will never be a good listener and you should find an occupation that allows you to work on your own.
All of this brings us to a question that has troubled me for some time. Pundits like to say, "Be yourself!" But, I wonder, what if you are a jerk? What if for the past few months or years you have been self-involved, selfish, and aloof? What if you make immature and illogical decisions? Should you really keep acting like a bubblehead?
No.
Each of us should strive to be the best version of ourselves. I can't aspire to be an NFL quarterback, but I can aspire to be a more engaging writer and speaker. A self-involved mathematician may never be a charismatic leader, but he can learn to be reasonably polite and generally professional.
Thus, the Authenticity Condition suggests that your wisest path ahead is by being the best version of yourself that you can muster, as opposed to being a pale version of someone else.
In truth, I can't cite 48 research papers that show your salary will increase by 48% and your happiness by 27% if you behave in an authentic manner. I can only say that time after time, I've seen imperfect people achieve extraordinary success by being true to themselves. I'm not just talking about monetary success, although that's certainly the case for some. I'm also talking about the sort of success that fills you with gratitude and satisfaction.
To get what YOU want, respect the Authenticity Condition.
Bruce Kasanoff ghostwrites for social innovators and executives who do well by doing good. Learn more at Kasanoff.com. He is the author of How to Self-Promote without Being a Jerk. (Twitter = @BruceKasanoff)
Image: Damon Styer/Flickr
Hi there!
10 年I read an interesting take on being authentic, or really, being yourself. It is not a "well I am going to be authentic now" type decision. it is a moment by moment process. Always staying true to yourself takes awareness, of your feelings, thoughts, past experiences and awareness how all that has contributed to who you are now. And the thing is, people never quit changing and growing (the ones that want that I guess :) and so being authentic to yourself means being in touch with who you are right now, in this moment. <3
Open to work
10 年very beautifully described and simply explained..:-))
Chief Executive Officer at ENCON(Engineering And Construction)
10 年The most important issue is one's commitment,dedication,hard work&perseverance.