Life's what you make it: compassion in the workplace

Unless you are a believer in reincarnation, most of us would accept the principle that we only get one go at life. We are only here for a relatively short period so we have a choice – make the most of it, or don’t!

We are all different, but for me making the most of it means focusing on family and friends, working hard and trying my best at everything I do, trying to help others, trying to have fun, and doing things that take me out of my comfort zone. This means taking chances and learning from my mistakes.

At Wood Group, our Social Responsibility Core Value states that we aim to make a positive difference to the communities where we operate. I try to make a difference by fundraising - by running marathons, jumping from a perfectly serviceable aircraft and, most recently, learning how to do Latin and ballroom dance routines!

Last Saturday I took part in an event to raise money for research into the early diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease so my embarrassment and discomfort was irrelevant in the scheme of things.

Being a former rugby player, the thought of being dressed up and dancing in front of a 12-piece band and more than 300 paying guests, with just my wife and me and one other couple on the dance floor, filled me with dread. We did the dances, we made a few mistakes, we were nervous and relieved to get through it, but it helped to raise more than ￡55,000 on the night. The money raised will be going to the Aberdeen University Development Trust to buy equipment for research into the disease.

I encourage everyone to support the causes that resonate with them; we can all help to make a positive difference to our communities.

I support causes that are near and dear to my own heart; that is why I danced on Saturday. Raising funds for good causes in the community is part of our Social Responsibility commitment, but I know that learning to dance is hardly climbing Everest!

I think it links more closely with our People Core Value – particularly the need to be compassionate. We often have no idea what stresses our coworkers are coping with outside of work. Some are taking care of their parents or partners; others are raising their children or even their grandchildren, and some are doing all of those. A friend or colleague may be dealing with some of the issues I describe. Knowing you care and hearing supportive and kind words, maybe even just listening, might mean a lot.

Senile dementia or Alzheimer’s disease affects many people and families. There is a good chance you have encountered it, are dealing with it or may well face it in the future. I lost my mother to it many years ago, but it took me a long time to understand the impact it had on me. I captured my thoughts in a poem to my children that I shared with them last May on the 15 anniversary of her death.

I am going way out on a limb and miles outside my comfort zone by sharing this with you (below). Some of you may find this inappropriate or even self-indulgent, but if it helps anyone, even in the smallest way, then it will be worth it. Everyone who deals with this dreadful condition will agree that life is indeed what you make it and you should make the most of it while you can.

Here goes….

When I become confused - please think this of me

When I become confused - please think this of me

The dad you look at feels the same but I am not the man you see

My wiring has failed my disc is scratched my memory is full of bugs

That doesn't change the me I am though my screen no longer works

Don't corrupt your thoughts on me by what you see today

Don't get upset by what I do and the things I do not say

Know I love you more than words - always have, always will

And when I am no longer here - my love will endure still

My mother went the same way and I didn't know what to do

I let my image of the woman I loved become corrupted and weakened too

It took me years to realise the mum I lost was not the one I saw die

It made me angry that I was robbed of the real chance to say goodbye

So bid me farewell while I'm still me then care for the shell that stays

But hold on fiercely to the times we had and all the happy days

I am the joke you remember I told too much, the punch line I couldn't leave

I am the party and the singing and always last to leave

From your first breath I cared for you in every way I could

And nothing fills me more with pride that you have all turned out pretty good

Remember me as your devoted dad who couldn't wait to see you

I heard your stories, jokes and fears and did all I could to ease you

So keep telling the tales and smile - remember when dad did that!

Or the time he taught me to ride a bike or wore that stupid hat

By keeping the sunny memories and real dad in your mind

Wherever you go, whatever you do, I'll be with you all the time.

Your loving, doting, devoted dad

Photo: JoeDeBlasio, Flickr