"Stranger in a Strange Land": What it Means to Grok

This post is part of a series in which Influencers describe the books that changed them.Follow the channel to see the full list.

Reading books has always been an earned pleasure for me. As long as I could remember, my dad would take me to our local library every week, and we would return home with several books that I would inhale. What began with the Hardy Boys shifted to science fiction, then mysteries and biographies. Today I still read quite a bit, though I am able to enjoy fewer books, as my work reading always comes first.

I cannot identify just one author as the most life changing for me. To highlight one would be both a lie and an insult to several authors whose books had profound impacts on my life. A full life has so many aspects, and the best books require engagement, thought and self-reflection. For my part, several books made a difference in how I think and who I am.

Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein burned into my mind the concept that to understand or “grok” another is to engage in the deepest form of understanding and empathy. The concept of grok is not merely a fictional concept, but something we should all strive for. While the goal of perfect understanding remains elusive to me, like any perfection goal, it makes me better for trying.

The Power Broker by Robert Caro enlightened me about how my birth state of New York’s physical roads, beaches and buildings were transformed by Robert Moses. More, this book taught me about raw politics and that great people have goals and think outside the box to meet them. Over the years, I have purchased several copies as gifts. Once, while I was running the Jones Beach Theater restaurant, I had the chance to meet Mr. Moses as he sat in one of the several hundred theater seats he had reserved for his cronies; that experience made the book all the more real for me.

Co-Opetition by Adam M. Brandenburger and Barry J. Nalebuff changed my business life by teaching me that competitors could be partners. It entirely shifted my view and was the catalyst to my engaging and working with multiple partners to grow the International CES to be the behemoth innovation success story it has become.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle made me conscious of being in the moment rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. It is ironic that we have to be taught how to regain the joy of youth.

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky made me realize that misery and repression are international. This and Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead helped not only set my political views on the value of individual effort and responsibility, but also fueled my passion to advocate for a more responsible America.

Ralph Ellison’s The Invisible Man gave me a taste of the challenges faced by minorities. The book gave me empathy for “different” people and a passion against racism.

Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, as well as an earlier, similar book by former Gannet head Cathie Black, Basic Black: The Essential Guide for Getting Ahead at Work (and in Life), made me appreciate that successful women truly have a heavier lift. These books, together with my marriage to a successful surgeon, have given me a deep admiration for women in the workforce.

Even my science fiction reading has shaped my perspective. My favorite sci-fi author is Isaac Asimov. He and many others have gifted me with several alternative visions of the future, the best relying on innovation in technology. They inspire me every day to fight status quo blockades to ensure innovation can flourish in the real world.

The books you read really do become part of your identity. They shape how you view the world, and inform your choices. I know my reading over the years has had a profound impact on me and my life. It’s not just one book that changed me, but many great books over the years. I only hope I will experience many more transforming encounters with books in the future.

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