My First Job: Why Being The Last Hired Didn’t Work Out

My first "real" – that is, "on the books" – job was as a file clerk for a family-owned actuarial firm in Center City Philadelphia. I was a junior at St. Maria Goretti High School in South Philly and looking to earn some money to pay for college application fees.

I discovered the position on a jobs board at my school, and it sounded perfect: 10-15 hours a week to file correspondence, contracts and miscellaneous paperwork, with the occasional "light office" work. The interview went swimmingly and the office manager gushed about how much she loved "Goretti girls." I was offered the job on the spot and accepted with glee. The office staff, all Goretti alums, welcomed me with open arms and I adapted quickly to the rhythm and routine of the office.

Shortly thereafter, the owner's wife – who had no formal role at the company – asked me to run a few errands. I checked with the office manager, who "cleared" it. While the connection to my job was loose at best, other office staff also did similar "favors,” and I was glad to pitch in.

So, a few weeks later, when the owner's wife asked me to pick up lunch from a local restaurant, I didn't think twice. Upon return, I placed the bag on a conference room table in the owner's office. Within minutes, the office manager summoned me back to the owner's office, whereupon I learned, that "picking up lunch" actually was shorthand for “picking up lunch, setting the table, transferring the food and beverages to ‘proper’ china and glassware, serving said food and beverages, clearing the table, and then washing and putting the dishes and glassware away.” I also was to "be available" while they dined – aka stand by the table to refill beverages or attend to any other need. Or, as the owner’s wife put it, “do what Italian-Catholic girls from South Philadelphia normally do at home – serve others and follow orders.” The unspoken tradition, I learned, was that the last hired would perform this duty and then transfer the responsibility to the next hire. Somehow, this never came up in my orientation.

I was speechless as a flood of emotions swept over me – confusion, anger and humiliation. But, I did as I was told. Later that day, I went to see the office manager and asked for clarification about my responsibilities, noting that nothing in the job posting or description, which I brought with me, remotely referenced these other duties. I was more than happy to run errands and help with any other office work, but I would not act as anyone’s servant.

Rather than push back, she said that it was my prerogative not to accept these other duties. I left the office with a spring in my step, proud that I stood up for myself. I never gave a thought about what would happen next. “Service” reverted to the last person hired before me, a woman named Roxy, who was not a happy camper, and I became the office pariah for having “wronged” Roxy and broken the unspoken rule. From that moment, the rest of the staff barely made eye contact with me. I tried to explain myself, but to no avail. The message was clear: Leave, which I did a few weeks later.

While my short-lived stint as an actuarial assistant didn’t end up having long-term repercussions on my career trajectory, it taught me a valuable lesson: Sometimes, it’s not about what you think is right. Many years later, I still reflect back on what I learned from that experience about the importance of unwritten office rules. It’s important to think before you act – and even more importantly, be prepared for the implications when you believe it’s worth taking a stand.

Photo: With my maternal grandmother and role model, Nina Pennachietti, at my high school graduation.