Huge Decisions Demand the Rocking Chair Test
When you have to make a potentially life-changing decision, use the Rocking Chair test. It's simple and highly effective.
Imagine a much older version of yourself, near the end of your days. You are sitting in a rocking chair on a quiet porch, reflecting back on your life. All that matters is whether you are proud of the decisions you made and the actions you took.
Sitting in your rocking chair, which decision will make you happy?
Why this works
Big decisions often require short-term sacrifices. To get into the Olympics, you have to sacrifice most of the fun and games of your childhood. To earn a 4.0 in school, you have to sacrifice most of your social life. You might have to travel incessantly to earn a promotion or close a deal.
The Rocking Chair test puts these sacrifices in perspective. In the scheme of your life, is it worth a few months – or years – of sacrifices in order to accomplish something big?
The answer isn't always yes. Picturing yourself in a rocking chair, you may decide that family is more important than money, that time with the people you love is worth more than any promotion or job.
The Rocking Chair test makes it easier for you to look inside yourself and discover who you really are and what you really want. I'm not sure why, but it can be a lot easier to look into the heart of an older version of yourself than to simply ask of the present you, "What do I want?"
When confronting huge decisions, it is vitally important to use your own values to make the decision, rather than to allow yourself to be influenced by the people around you.
The Rocking Chair test is a subtle way of reminding yourself that there will come a day when you are truly alone with your decisions and actions. When that happens, it won't seem so important that your father thought you were crazy to become an artist, or that your boss (what was his name again?) tried to bully you into dropping what turned out to be the best idea you ever had.
It works for small decisions, too
You might be in the middle of months of bickering with your spouse or boss. You're convinced that the other person is wrong, that you are simply reacting to his or her inappropriate behaviors.
Time for a reality check.
The Rocking Chair test can help you gain some perspective with regards to these situations. Will the older version of you be proud of the way you reacted to every perceived slight with a quick retort or nasty look? Given decades to reflect, will you be so convinced that there was nothing you could have done differently?
I think not.
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Image credits: sonjalovas and Micky**/Flickr
Managing Director, Membership at Maryland Public Television
10 年Thanks Bruce. Good advice on seeking clarity and perspective when making big decisions. Love the rocking chair analogy. Pull up a chair and start rocking!
Retired
11 年Wow. There is, at least for me, definitely a difference in perspective when I sit and contemplate the decisions I have made concerning work, home, church, friends, and community. At times I feel as if I have different "personalities" or I think and behave differently for different audiences. Sitting in the rocking chair and pondering on how everything I have decided on from the far perspective makes me think I really have not treated everyone in my life as disparately or dispassionately as I thought. Sitting in the rocking chair for me emphasizes more the passion and focus on keeping communications with others deep and meaningful, saying what I mean in a kind and serving way. Sitting in the chair does not mean constant movement but meaningful movement, and I want that more for myself.
F-35 Joint Program Office, USAF Human Resource Manager
11 年It all boils down to taking the time to finding a quiet time to reflect before making those tough choices and asking yourself can you live with your decision. It is not easy but if your decision is aligned with your values, I say go for it! Follow your inner voice or gut instinct. Thank you for reminding us to take timeout to reflect.
Federal Government Employee at U.S. Census Bureau
11 年Great reflection!
Senior Project officer - Mechanization Expert at Ethiopian Agricultural Transformation Agency (ATA)
11 年This test is a sort of which I did some times in similar situations. but I really didn't understand the way I do now. This is (may be) why I still stick to my religion, in spit of all the failures and several ups and downs. I like your way of expression, perspectives, and deep thinking. I would like to thank you for these.