Why People Are So Afraid to Own Their Careers

My husband Jim Sniechowski, PhD and I just completed a series of interviews dedicated to discovering what makes career management so difficult for most people. And the majority of the answers we repeatedly received fell into these three categories:

* I shouldn’t have to toot my own horn. My work and my team’s work should be enough.

* It’s demeaning to play politics and run around to the top brass, glad-handing, and polishing the mirror.

* I’ve never thought about my work in terms of an elevator speech, or the benefits I provide, so I don’t even know where to start.

Do you identify with any or all of them? Most people do.

And that’s why those who "know how to work the system" repeatedly get ahead while most people continually feel frustrated, victimized, and treated unfairly by the system.

But are they really treated unfairly, or are they radically unprepared for the real world of corporate promotions?

My vote goes to the latter. Here’s why: Most managers are way too busy to take extra time away from their required work and responsibilities to be hunting down undiscovered talent. That’s not their job, nor is it their obligation to provide a therapeutic atmosphere for those who are unskilled at promoting themselves and/or making themselves highly visible within the company.

So it’s incumbent on the individual to take command over their own career, and their desire to advance in that career. And, let’s be clear. Some people are perfectly comfortable with their current position, and have no need to move ahead. And that’s just fine. I’m not concerned about them.

I am concerned about all of the multi-talented individuals who seem to be hiding under their desk rather than using their jobs to get ahead.

So if you identified with:

* "I shouldn’t have to toot my own horn. My work and my team’s work should be enough, I’m not talking about ‘tooting your horn.’" That would be bragadocio and work against you. I am insisting that if you are good at what you do, you need to get with your manager/supervisor and let him/her know you want their honest feedback about what you need to do to be considered for advancement. Assuming your work, or your team’s work is sufficient to get that kind of attention presumes that other people are in charge of your life. And they aren’t.

When you have a clear outline of what’s needed for consideration to the next level, not only do you need to set about making those changes and implementing steps for your professional growth, you need to keep your manager/supervisor informed about what all you are doing to

follow what was suggested. And you need to then ask for a time line for when you will be

considered for promotion.

If you identified with:

* "It’s demeaning to play politics and run around to the top brass, glad-handing, and polishing the mirror." If it’s demeaning to make yourself known to leadership who can influence your career, you must be suffering from an old message that you need to be humble and modest or

something like that. Because, otherwise there would be room to understand that if you are good at what you do, leadership will want to know what you are doing to contribute to the company. Making your specific value-adds known to those above you is not glad-handing, it’s helping the organization better understand how you fit the larger picture and what they can expect from you in the future.

If you identified with:

* "I’ve never thought about my work in terms of an elevator speech, or the benefits I provide, so I don’t even know where to start." You are far from alone here. Most people we’ve worked with don’t have a clue. So, here’s what to do to get started: Make a list of all the ways your colleagues, your department, your team, your company, and your customers (whatever all categories apply) are helped by the work you do—those are the benefits you provide. Features describe "WHAT you do." Benefits describe how what you do "HELPS people or companies." Next, write three sentences that describe the way you provide benefits that are unique to you. For example, my husband and I specialize in executive coaching designed for the brightest and best, drawing out of our clients their already existing leadership talent and capacity.

With this orientation toward your career trajectory, and your ownership of your future, what will you do differently in the coming months? I look forward to hearing from you.

(Photo: Thick arrow made from jigsaw puzzle pieces commsumsu/Flickr)

Judith Sherven, PhD and her husband Jim Sniechowski, PhD https://JudithandJim.com have developed a penetrating perspective on people’s resistance to success, which they call The Fear of Being Fabulous. Recognizing the power of unconscious programming to always outweigh conscious desires, they assert that no one is ever failing—they are always succeeding. The question is, at what? To learn about how this played out in the life of Whitney Houston, check out https://WhatReally KilledWhitneyHouston.com

Currently working as consultants on retainer to LinkedIn providing executive coaching, leadership training and consulting as well as working with private clients around the world, they continually prove that when unconscious beliefs are brought to the surface, the barriers to greater success and leadership presence begin to fade away. They call it Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous https://OvercomingtheFearofBeingFabulous.com

Dominic Naadi, MCIPD, ACC

Strategic HR Executive who partners Business Leaders to enrich human capital assets and strengthen business performance

10 年

I agree with principles of the article but I have some concern. Does toasting managers and constantly spend half your working time chatting managers amount to educating on your contribution to the company? I have observed most employees wanting to be "visible" tend to run down colleagues in order to liked. Also, should a manager be too busy to notice or know their top performers?

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Dr. Dumont Owen

Master Personal / Digital Brand Strategist, LinkedIn Consultant, Creator of the Lucrative LinkedIn System and Lucrative LinkedIn Lead Generator, International Best-Selling Author Anthology Books

11 年

I totally agree with the premise of your article. One of the most difficult challenges faced by many of my clients is the concept of "owning their own career" which I would describe as being pro-active in their careers rather than "reactive". Gloria - you're a great role model. It might be really helpful if you could follow up with how you accomplished your transition.

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Jeff Miller, MBA

Business operations manager

11 年

Judith Sherven, PhD I'm not disagreeing with the research that resulted in these conclusions. Two points to consider, however: I know far too many top performing techies who believe their contribution is what leads to their next career step. I suggest they need to look up from that computer screen and improve their people/communication skills...or watch their job move abroad without them. Secondly, I'd like to address the definition of management. While you wrote ''most managers,'' perhaps this society has forgotten what the role means. Yes, one can manage a project or program without people, but as someone who manages people it is indeed part of my responsibility to direct and empower them to take risks and charge of their role/contribution. Thirty-minutes a day, that is nothing, in my view. No comparaitive stats on this, but I am proud of the fact that in 35 years of managing about 120 people in total -- from laborers and techies, to writers and program managers -- I have only ever had to fire one person, have had to cut two headcount and have lost an additional three as they found a better job. So, other than those six, and it is usually is stated upon my own departure, the remaining employees have thanked me for taking time to coach them, let them make mistakes and grow, and seem to actually care about their career development. Conversely, I have had 46 managers so far and only three (they are in my contact list) have treated me in a similar fashion. The others were just fearful of their own staff.

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Michael Clark

Data Scholar | Turning Data into an Asset | Designing the Next Economy | Seasoned Industry Advisor | Innovation and Digital Evangelist | Speaker | Redefining Value and Learning

11 年

Similar to how an organisation defines it's strategy for growth, you should have one for you. What is your strategy for growth, how will you develop your brand. How will you respond to unpredictable events. How will you sell your journey to potential customers, and can you describe what you do in terms that everyone understands, and immediately sees the value. Your career is a journey, similar to a start up business you need to define your target market and determine how you will grow. Always thinking two roles ahead in every decision you make. Similar to Virgin I don't tie myself to an offering. In my case the offering is a role. I never work in the same industry twice, i never move for money, and I never do the same role twice. Like Virgin I try to diverse my offerings (roles). What I stand for remains and the quality of my work is constant throughout my career. The aim is simple, to be the best at what I do and leave behind quality products. It is what we leave behind that counts as success, not what you do. Take control of your career, never stop learning , work hard and do not be afraid to be different.

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